A Little Help

There is very little in the world that is as difficult as admitting that you can no longer do all the things that you want to do. I was raised by wonderful, loving people who taught me that you have to work for what you want, and I always enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment that I received from doing so. I've always been grateful to them for that philosophy and for the strong sense of work ethic that I saw as I grew to adulthood.

I don't think anyone expects to reach the age of thirty-five and find that they are as limited in what they can do as somebody who is more than twice their age. As the mother of a teenaged daughter and two little boys who are autistic, I have far too much to do in a day to be limited. I have the same chores as any person who owns a home and raises children. My children may have different needs, but I don't claim to have to do more than any other mom. It really is no fun to not be able to keep up with my home or my children. I am not old enough to be this old!

I even had to stop working outside the home because I was dealing with so much pain from the fibromyalgia, and the fatigue was making me nearly useless both at work and at home. Even though I no longer have to spend the day out of the house and come home to a load of chores while trying to enjoy my children, I still am functioning at far less capacity than I should.

I try all of the healthy advice to ease things. I do light yoga. I take whole food vitamins that are organic, so I get actual nutrients from them. I follow dietary advice and remove certain foods and additives that have been shown to worsen symptoms. Now, I will admit that I've had some success with these healthy alternatives to medications. I am a HUGE fan of epsom salt, as it does work wonders to ease the aches, at times.

However, I have to break down and take the medications, more than I like. Really, who wants to watch their children grow through a haze of drugs. Hmm....maybe that's a silly question. Seriously, I want to help them through their growing years. Staying home has made me a little more effective there. It was frightening to be driving home from a day at work and nearly nod off at the wheel. Then I would have to wait for my daughter to arrive home after her bus ride, so I could take a short nap in order to stay up until it was time to deal with things like dinner, baths and brushing teeth.

Being at home while they were in school gave me the opportunity to rest, so I would be able to be an effective parent, as well as a conscious one. Even with them home, my daughter earns some of her time on her Xbox Live account by watching them while I take a short rest. I have less problem with this, since there is more of the day to spend with them when school is not in session.

Also, since my mother has a decent-sized pool, I am able to take them to swim. I have her help, my daughter's help, and occasionally my father or husband, too. Not only do the kids have a great time, swimming is such a no-impact form of exercise that I have a lot less pain, afterward. Plus, it makes the kids just as tired, so we can settle down after a snack and nap together.

Not working outside the home has had a lot of perks, but it also has the biggest non-perk of all. No income. I filed for disability, but I was informed that two of my jobs in the last ten years took advantage of the fact that they were state employers, and they did not pay into Social Security insurance from my paychecks. Thanks to that, I lack the credits to qualify, and I have been assured by two attorneys that there is no hope of getting around it.

It was bad enough to admit to disability and apply for an income. Yes, I know that I have paid into that system all of my life. I have forty credits, over all. I just did not get the right amount of them at the right time of my life. We are now in a very tense financial situation. My husband urged me to open what I can only call a charity request on www.microgiving.com. I am hoping to be able to find some work that I can do from home that will allow for the flexibility that is needed for a family and a chronic illness.

My situation is at the following link: http://www.microgiving.com/profile/vslee33. I do need help, but I mostly would like to have this website spread around. It has options to help people in hardship situations, but it also has options to help people in all manner of things. I even saw where writers can use it to raise funds to self-publish.

I thank you for reading my story. Forgive me, if I sound like I am whining about my situation. I still feel as if I am fortunate in my family, my friends, my interests and so many other things. However, I am in need, so I am spreading the link to my Microgiving page in every way of which I can think. Since I am a part of a forum with so many writers who are of so many professions and areas of expertise, I thought I might pay it back and forward by trying to spread the word about a website that might help somebody else.