A Little of This and a Whole Lot of That

The dictionary is full of words and their definitions. However I have a few words that I feel need to be changed. (Tongue in cheek)

1. Normality - it is acting like everything you do is part of how things really are suppose to be done, yet isn't
2. Pollution - the names listed on most every state's Election Day ballots.
3. Teenager(s) - The Einstein's of today that realize to late they have much more to learn.
4. Delusional - the insane condition that most of the Einstein's of today see their parents are in.

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding things in the world. I have a daughter that is now 18 years old. However when she was being potty trained she taught me a very valuable lesson.

I was working at a fast food establishment at the time and was in a lower level management position. That position required me to wear a dress shirt and tie. After putting on my last clean outfit, I sat on the couch until it was time to go. My wife and daughter were in the bathroom, where my wife was training our daughter to use the "big girls' potty".

My daughter was a fast learning and got very excited about her new accomplishment. She ran out to me and said, "Daddy, Daddy, I used the big girl potty." She then disappeared quickly back into the bathroom. I remained on the couch. A few seconds later she came back out still very excited. Only this time she brought me a surprise. Yup, you guessed it. She brought me her poop. In one very quick motion she held out her hand to show me and dropped it right down the front of me. Needless to say I went to work that day with a different, yet dirty outfit on.

Lesson for the day: Sometimes the world will reward you for your accomplishments. But sometimes it only gives you crap.

It's a shame really. I have been using the computer now for about 6 or 7 years, spending as much as 10 hours a day on it. I just start feeling like I know what I am doing when someone comes along and tells me something I didn't know. And that's not the worst of it. Some times someone will come along and say something that, for what ever reason, just flies right past me for about a mile. After I spend about month thinking about it, I finally figure out what they said only to be way behind on what is going on today.

Found on the wall at the doctors office: I'm not worried about tomorrow's problems, I am still working yesterday.

Another lesson I have learned from my daughter is she's the best at handling her money. My suggestion to her is to invest a little of what she makes, so that in the years to come she will have something to fall back on. This and also to go to college will insure she wont be living off me for the rest of her life. However, she had informed me that I am really in no position to tell her what to do with her money, after all I am broke. What she doesn't realize is that I am broke because I have spent most of the last few years paying child support (for her). That is my investment and one that I was really hoping to "fall back on" some day.

A Blonde's Cookbook

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend for supper.

WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. This is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a Chocolate Moose.

- - -Poor Bob - - -
Author unknown

I have a program on my computer that a friend gave me with over a million recipes on it. I have read a few of them and find that some day I wouldn't mind trying a few of them. However for some reason I never seem to find that same recipe when I go looking for it. I have spent days looking for that recipe. But for some reason it just seems to have disappeared. If you have a recipe you would like to share please email it to me. I would love to give it a try some day.

Recently a friend of my girlfriend sent her a Birthday card. Her friend sent it two days before her birthday with the thought that it would arrive before hand. I checked the mail daily and never saw it. After some five days it finally arrived. With it I received a letter from a government office that I was expecting. Also I received a letter about a pass due bill I still owed on. Both my letters were sent out the day before. This just goes to show you that the government and businesses will get to you before your friends can.

Also, concerning government related mail, have you ever noticed that if you owe money for one thing or other, they will send out their letters with a notice saying you only have ten days to comply? Yet if you are trying to get money for them they give themselves plenty of time to decide if they are going to send it or not. If you believe me try applying for disability sometime or collecting on an over payment to them.

Government time has no relationship to actual time. We only have 24 hours a day. They have a life time. OURS!!!

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God Counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
'Author unknown'

At my current place of employment the owners are from Greece. It's a family owned business. The father of that family is very hard to understand some times, mostly when he starts talking fast. The other day I was mopping the floor in the back room. He came over and started complaining about how I was mopping. He asked for the mop to show me how to do it correctly. He then started mopping and explaining the procedure to me. After a few minutes he handed the mop back to me. Since he had finished the remainder of the floor for me, I put everything away. One of the other employees, who witnessed all this came up to me a short time later and asked, "Isn't that how you were mopping?" I said, "yes but if he wants to make my job easier by finish it for me, he's the boss so who am I to complain."

I really hope these few things gave you some thought, made you laugh and brightened your day just a little.