A Look at Married Couples Who Live Separately: Living Apart - Together
You never have to worry about the other person forgetting to take out the trash or have to trip over their dirty clothes they leave on the floor. This also allows for an "open marriage". Leaving room for both spouses to date and perhaps become intimate with people other than their spouses and not be seen as an adulterer.
Married couples sacrifice their independence when they said "I do". However, when you live apart, you maintain your independence. Living together is a big step for most people. You might think that you love someone, but once you move in with them and are face to face with all of their annoying and gross habits, you might start to question your love for this person! Living apart is a great way to avoid seeing your spouse all day and even better, you don't need to answer to them every second of everyday or even ask before you want to go out!
A woman was quoted in this articles saying that marriage and kids were one thing, but she wasn't ready to move in with him yet. Marriage is a legal document that basically binds you to someone else. Kids are even more of a commitment. It seems strange that marriage and children are considered so low on a list of commitment.
Though I do agree that it would be easier to live apart from my spouse, it would also make the marriage seem worthless. Why would I have wasted my time getting married if I was not ready to commit to him fully? We have a daughter together and though some of the things he habitually does, well quite frankly sickens me, I choose to live with him because that was part of the arrangement when we got married!
Living apart - together seems like a great way to avoid paying for a divorce and divvying up the belongings! Though it also seems that marriage has become one of those things you do so that you can get better insurance and so that you can legally bind another person to yourself. The sanctity of marriage was sacrificed years ago and no amount of trying will ever retrieve that!
Published by allaplgs
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11 Comments
Post a CommentI agree with Rick's comment. What a hell of mess it makes in society if married people live apart and also date and have sex with others who may be looking for committments or marriage themselves. And married people living in separate houses or apts? Again, how confusing to anyone who meets or is interested in them and why are they married then? You love someone but can't live with him/her? You want to stay married but date and sleep with others? What?? I'll bet for the couples who agree to these arrangements one of them is doing some things on the side and the other one is being duped. I'd say these are friendships (which includes "love") with a legal contract. That is great and fine but don't get other innocent or single people involved in your arrangements.
Hello,
I'm a production assistant at NBC's TODAY Show, and we're currently working on a segment about married couples who choose to live separately. I'm looking for a couple that would be willing to go on camera and be a part of that segment... if you or someone you know in NY/NJ/DC/LA/Chicago fits the description and might be interested, I'd love to hear from you! Please email me as soon as possible at theundivorced@gmail.com.
Thanks,
Erica Zucco
I'm considering it after coming very close to divorce with this man I've been with 20 years now. Is there love? Yes. Can we live together? No. We would still be faithful, don't assume it means an open marriage. It just means bigger personal space.
Just because married people do not live together does not make sleeping around okay. An adulterer is still a married person stepping out side the marriage no matter what your living situations are.
Apparently my contact doesn`t work properly so it would be:
marahlou@gmail.com
Hello,
I´m a German student in the field of cultural anthropology and currently I´m working on a study about the phenomenon called "Living Apart Together". Since my study should also be based on empiric data I`m still looking for any volunteers engaged in that kind of relationship who would consent to participate in my study on an anonymous basis. All you would have to do is to fill out a questionnaire which contains simple questions about daily routines, pros and cons of Living Apart Together etcetera. I`d be very thankful for your help! If interested, send me a note and I´ll send you the questionnaire. Thank you! Marah
Marah.Lippert@campus.lmu.de
My spouse and I live apart (three floors apart). He lives in a rent controled spacious loft in Brooklyn that was too good to pass up, though too small for our family aspirations. We compromised with another place that better meets the needs of our twin girls. Fortunately it is in the same building and we are happy with the arrangement. It's not for everyone, but then neither is marriage. A committed partnership is about making rules that FIT your relationship and ignoring what onlookers feel/think/say. We've been together for almost ten years and while I wouldn't recommend this arrangement for everyone, I certainly feel it is the best for our family.
My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have lived apart for the last 3.(8 houses apart to be exact) This arrangement has saved our marriage. We are both faithful to one another and treat each other with more respect. Although, lately we have talked about moving even closer to each other- we are considering the purchase of a duplex. His side Her side now that's the way to go!!!!!!
My husband and I are married with children and love each other very much but both of us are from two complete opposites and we have tried compromising our lifestyles and it just did not work so we are living apart now and we are much happier and I have my best friend back! for some it doesn't work and for others it does...plain and simple. This day in age I do not think anyone should judge someone for this at least we are commited to each other and our kids!
It's called friends with benefits (period). Plain and simple. She even points out that when they date, (get together) they end up in an intimate encounter in bed together. I thought that was called casual sex. Anyone can do that without cheapening the institute of marriage. If this works for you, stay single and forget the commitment part of the relationship. Lets call an ace an ace, I'd be having intimate incounters with other women and that's called an open marriage.