A Love Story: The Funniest Date She Ever Had

Salt Lake City 's Liberty Park is a huge, green oasis. Acres of emerald grass, immense trees, and a pond that some might call a lake, cover several city blocks. Volley-ball pits, tennis courts, and Tracy Aviary is situated on one side of the popular attraction.

I'd never been to Liberty Park , but my new girlfriend had lived not far away years earlier. When we spent a glorious day last summer playing in the city, she insisted we have a romantic lunch, lakeside. We chose a table next to an enormous tree, whose trunk had to be at least 10 feet around.

Unfortunately, there had been an oil spill. Our view consisted of lawns on one side, and HazMat teams on the other. A discussion of environmental concerns, pollution and geological terrorism commenced. What can I say? We were in love.

"I want to be arrested for a good cause before I die," I stated bluntly.

"Arrested?" Susan asked. "Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"No." I glanced over my shoulder. Two brightly colored birds in a tall cage chased each other in tight, psychedelic circles. "Like those birds. Look at them! They're going insane, circling endlessly in a cage that is too small. I feel like marching over there and letting them go. Free the birds!"

"What birds?" Susan leaned around the massive tree.

"Those birds. They're tropical. Look at the bright red and yellow! They should be in the tropics someplace, but here they are, spinning in circles."

Susan leaned further around the trunk of the tree. Her head fell and she laughed. She didn't chuckle. She didn't giggle. No, she laughed. One of those laughs where you're not entirely positive you won't pee your pants.

"What's so funny?" I wasn't sure if I should be offended. Her laughter is generally contagious, so I chuckled in spite of myself.

When she finally caught her breath, she heaved a sigh. "Oh, baby," she smiled as she spoke. "Those aren't birds. Those are the flags on the little Merry-Go-Round."

I turned back to my small, feathered, captive friends just as the Merry-Go-Round wound to a halt. The "birds" hung limp in the distance and several children's heads popped up, then disappeared again as they disembarked. I hadn't seen the small, coin-operated rides when we'd entered the park. The Merry-Go-Round had been moving so fast, it had been only a blur.

Now, months later, any time I climb upon my soap-box, I can hear a soft giggle as Susan calls quietly to herself, "Free the birds!"

Alas, I have yet to be arrested for a good cause. But I did, in fact, get the girl.

Sources:

Personal Experience, True Story