A Man with Two Heads

Once upon a time on a distant planet there lived a very wealthy man. But unlike the other people on his planet, he was born with two heads.

Leonardo, the left-head, was the conservative and pragmatic type. He wore his hair close-cut and kept his face clean-shaven. He enjoyed reading scientific journals and Greek classics, doing crossword puzzles and playing golf on his private course. A perfect evening for Leonardo would find him sitting at home near a fireplace, playing chess with his prim soft-spoken wife, while listening to the equivalent of Mozart on his sound system.

Sharing the same body with Leonardo was Renaldo, the right-head, who could best be described as a wild and crazy guy. He had tattoos all over his face and his side of the body. He wore earrings and had numerous piercings and several diamond studs in his tongue. He loved living life on the edge. Mountain climbing, big game hunting, skydiving, wild-river rafting and partying hearty until well after the break of dawn were normal activities for him. He only read comic books and the music he listened to most was the equivalent of The Insane Clown Posse. And unlike his brother Leonardo, who was committed to monogamy, Renaldo was a polygamist and had three outgoing, vivacious wives.

As a consequence of sharing one body, when one head was busy doing the things that made it happy, the other head was miserable and felt dejected. Somehow, though, they managed to resolve their disagreements by compromising. However, on their 35^th birthday they were at each other's throats, choking and cursing each other.

That's when one of Renaldo's wives stepped forward with a suggestion, "Why don't you two get separate bodies?"

"Yes!" Leonardo's wife perked up in agreement, adding, "That's a marvelous idea. After all, there are thousands of healthy bodies in cryonic states longing for adequate brain donors."

Months later, after the operation, the brothers moved to separate castles, worlds apart. Then one New Years Eve, Renaldo, called out to his three wives, "Darlings, please pack our bags for an extended stay away from home."

"Are we going on another dangerous adventure?" one of the wives inquired.

"No, dearest," Renaldo said, in a trembling voice, "it is my brother, Leonardo, who I miss so."

When Renaldo and his three wives arrived at the vast moat surrounding Leonardo's castle, they were surprised to see him and his prim wife crossing the drawbridge, suitcases in hand. Spotting his brother, Leonardo dropped everything he was carrying and ran to Renaldo. The two embraced for the first time in their lives. With tears in his eyes, conservative and pragmatic Leonardo expressed his emotions for the first time ever, saying, "Renaldo, I have missed you so."

Now the two brothers live in an immense castle, and three times a day, at breakfast, lunch and dinner, they get on each other's very last nerve.

Moral: Two heads are better than none.