A Man's Guide for the Morning After: Rules of a One Night Stand

What a night. You roll over to find someone wrapped in your sheets with her hair covering her face and you try to remember her name and how you got here. Panic ensues as you look at the clock and it reads 7:45..it's beyond the time for her to be gone. You have to get started with your day. You wonder to yourself "how can I tell her she needs to go without sounding disrespectful?". You roll out of bed and shuffle around, putting your clothes on and turn the t.v on hoping to wake her. She doesn't move. This is prime time for you to handle the situation as a gentleman even if the only thing you remember about her is that thing she did with her tongue. Establish yourself as a man and she's likely to respect you whether you have dealings in the future or not. At least you've done what you could to make her feel less guilty. Here are some rules from my perspective as a female that will help you out.

Rule 1- Don't spew compliments about her sexual prowess
Keep in mind the woman you just spent the night with knows exactly how she gets down, and what she is capable of doing. Giving a play by play of the night can lead to an uncomfortable exchange of words if she's not quite ready to deal with the situation as a whole and you mention "That thing you do with your tongue was really hot..next time could you..?" There might not even be a next time. Keep in mind some women, just as some men pursue one night stands like it's a sport. Or the opposite could be true and she's never had a overnight tryst before. Be careful what you say and do..at least until she's gotten a chance to shower and reflect. Information overload is never a good thing.

Rule 2- Don't brag about your display of physical ability
Just because you may think she was pleased by your uncanny knowledge of the Karma Sutra doesn't mean that she was. Even if she was impressed by your prowess there are a million other things running through her head at this moment other than how sexually advanced you are and how exactly you obtained your knowledge of the female anatomy. Even the most desperate woman will be turned off by the thought of how you practicing on another woman led you to be sleeping with her last night.

Rule 3- If you want to be a true gentleman just ask her to leave
Making up stories about what you have to do in 15 minutes, or that your dog ran away will only make the female look at you like you're psycho or a liar. The smoothest end would be simply to explain to her you had a good experience, but you have responsibilities to take care of and leave it at that. This is true even if the only responsibility you have to take care of today is to yourself and watching the game at 8 p.m. A majority of females will appreciate your honesty, and many will have things they need to take care of during the day as well.

Rule 4- If you have no intentions of seeing her after that night DO NOT ask to exchange numbers
Always remember a confused woman is a clingy woman! Giving her the false impression that you want to continue communicating to "be nice" is the wrong way to go. The only thing that will result from you giving her your number when you really just want her to go away is repeated calls to your phone asking why she hasn't heard from you, continued invites to date, and possibly down the road phone calls from blocked phone numbers at all hours of the day. Just let her know you had a good time and that you're really not interested in anything serious at this time. It may not seem very gentlemanly but being truthful is the best way to pay respect to her.

Rule 5- Get tested
This girl may look squeaky clean and have only had one sex partner in her life. The reality is that her one partner could have had thousands. Contrary to popular belief condoms don't prevent all sexually transmitted infections. Infection can be transmitted skin to skin during foreplay, and through bodily fluids . If you DID NOT use protection now is the perfect time to talk about the possibility of her getting pregnant from the experience and your options. DO NOT wait until you get that phone call a month down the line to wait to deal with it. An informed set of partners is a happy set of partners. Talk about your options and come up with the best possible solution should such a thing happen. Stay safe!