A Man's Response to Women's Silly Games

Why should a man be expected to read his woman's mind? Why should he have to know when yes means no and no means yes? Communication is the most important thing within any relationship. So why make communication even harder by playing games? Not only is it wrong, but it's also not fair to expect this of a man.

I mean no disrespect to Ms. Kirk. After having read her article, I can see that she backs up every one of her points well. And I do concede that a woman is a very different animal than a man. They think differently and they feel differently. I wanted to make a comment, but found that my own article on the subject is in order. And maybe, if some women out there read this, they might find that there's a different way to communicate with their men.

What I shall do is take the ten phrases uttered by women that Ms. Kirk used and put to them my own elaborations, from a man's point of view. I do this so that women can see why men feel that these are nothing more than silly games that we shouldn't have to put up with.

1.) "I'm leaving, but feel free to stay." If you want us to go with you, just say so. That would be the best test of a man, whether he is willing to follow you out of the party. If you're tired, why not say something like, "I'm getting tired, can we go soon?" This lets the man know for sure that you want him to go with you, yet still doesn't make you seem controlling by asking him to make the decision. By saying that you're getting tired, it would take a jerk of epic proportions to refuse.

2.) "I'm not mad. Everything is fine." On this one, I have to say that we know that not everything is fine. We know that you're upset. It takes a real moron to not know this one. We know that you are going to eventually let us know what you're upset about. We just won't press you for it.

3.) "Does this make me look fat?" This question is an issue of honesty. How much do you trust our love for you? Because here's the real key to the question, what if it does make you look fat? What's the lesser of the two evils? If you're wearing something that makes you look fat, would you rather your man tell you it does, or lie to you and let you go out in something that makes you look fat? Really, if we affirm that what you're wearing makes you look like you've put on a few extra pounds, we don't think you're fat, we just think that your outfit is unbecoming.

4.) "Is she pretty?" Not to sound like a jerk on this one, but if you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer that you don't want to hear (last phrase came from a joke e-mail I received called The Men's Rules. I don't know who wrote it, but it certainly fits here). It's this easy, you asked me for an opinion. I will give the honest answer. If I think she's pretty, I'll say so. I think that pretty and beautiful are two different things. Pretty is what that person looks like from the outside. Beautiful deals with personality and all the inner things that make a person, along with outward appearance. The key to this one is, if you don't want the truth, don't ask the question.

5.) "What do you like about me?" I will say that I am in total agreement with Ms. Kirk on this one. Women need reassured, lifted on a pedestal. This message is to the guys who are reading this: If your woman asks you this question, give a good answer. Always be thinking of why you love your woman. Reassure her when it's needed. If you don't, then you're part of the reason that we men wear the "pig" label.

6.) "I don't mind paying." Tell the truth. If you don't want to pay, then don't say this. It's the easiest way to keep from getting mixed signals. In fact, strike these words from your vocabulary because most men really don't mind paying. That's how we were raised.

7.) "I don't usually do this on the first date." Again, I'm in agreement with Ms. Kirk I don't need to elaborate any further on this point.

8.) Another good point by Ms. Kirk. Guys, only say that you're going to call a girl if you're truly going to do it. Saying that you're going to do something and then not doing it is an unkind way to treat people.

9 & 10.) "I should go," and, "You don't have to get me a gift." Both of these again come down to honesty and straightforwardness. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Only say that you should go if there's some reason that you should. Otherwise, stick around, we like your company. As for a gift, it is something that one person gets for another because they want to, not because they have to. The only time that my wife and I have decided not to get a gift for each other was because of financial strain and our son needed Santa Claus to show up more than we needed gifts from each other. Remember, no one has to get you a gift; they do it because they want to.

Mainly, my whole point here is be straightforward with us. Tell us what you're thinking and feeling, and expect honest answers to the questions that you ask us. You just may find that when we say the words, "I love you," that we mean them more than you thought we did.