A Modest Suggestion for Ending the Recession

If you have not yet received this e-mail, I am reprinting it here for you:

"This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on 'How Would You Fix the Economy?'

I thought this was the BEST idea. I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,

Patriotic retirement:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million apiece severance with stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

All this and it's still cheaper than the bailout."

Is that a great idea or what? Realistically, I can see a few problems with it. The auto industry, for example, would really only be reprieved. Eventually, Detroit auto makers have to stop making crappy cars with nothing but glitz and hefty price tags. This solution would give them time to do that.

And, some employment areas might be crippled by the immediate exodus of their experience pool. For example, in about 15 states, more than half of the teachers are over 50. All those jobs would require not only trained, but experienced replacements. Some other areas might be similarly affected.

Still, it's an arresting idea.

I don't really understand what caused this collapse. Banks appeared to start raising interest rates for no good reason. Oil prices soared dragging along gasoline prices. I know those things, but prosperity seemed to evaporate for no good reason. Staggering billions of dollars that existed one day were gone the next.

The whole recession seemed to come from nowhere and it seems that it should just as easily go back to nowhere. I think all we need to do is agree that it is gone.

So, my suggestion to Mr. Obama is to take a little of that bail out money and launch a major advertising campaign. Do another "mission accomplished" thing without the aircraft carrier and the goofy flight suit.

And make it a big campaign with bright, energetic music and lots of people dancing and singing. Maybe a crowd of business men and women dancing down Wall Street with balloons and confetti would be good.

Then, other businesses could start running ads that link to the main one. We could have people buying new houses, driving off car lots in shiny new cars, bragging about their new appliances, and pouring into shopping malls.

We could just declare over and over again that rumors of the recession were greatly exaggerated.

And, just as the last Bush administration proved time and again, if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes true - or true enough. Really, that should fix everything.