A Moment of Clarity

The sun was shining, the birds were already chirping and I could hear the sound of a lawnmower coming from one of the nearby houses.

It was probably a beautiful day, but I didn't know. I had the blinds closed as tight as I could get them and my head was buried in my pillow, my covers pulled up as high as they could go.

Four months ago I would've leapt out of bed. I would've had a little spring in my step as I walked around my apartment getting ready for a day at the office. My morning routine was to read the daily newspaper while I grabbed a quick breakfast, usually a plain bagel, lightly toasted with cream cheese, a chocolate chip muffin and a large glass of orange juice, shower, shave, brush my teeth, get dressed and head out the door for work.

About the time I was in my car I'd receive my morning text message, usually something simple like "I love you," but enough to put a smile on my face.

I was 30 years old, and it seemed like I had my entire future planned out. I had just been promoted to editor of the local weekly newspaper I worked for and things were going great with my girlfriend, so great that we were talking about getting married and moving in together.

Of course that was four months ago. Four months ago was more than just another season, it seemed like an entirely different life for me. It was before the local weekly newspaper I worked for decided to close up shop due to the poor economy. And, it was before the "I love you" text messages stopped coming.

To me, this spring morning seemed like another in the long line of depressing mornings I had experienced in the past three months. I hadn't found work in three months since the newspaper closed. I had been receiving unemployment during that time, but that was only a temporary fix.

And things were going great with my girlfriend, until the day she told me she didn't want to put getting married on hold while I found a job. She said staying with me was too unstable, and she needed some stability in her life and needed to be with someone who could give her a family sooner rather than later.

That was nearly two months ago. I hadn't heard from her since.

My name is Chris Galloway, and while what I've told you so far might make you feel sorry for me, please don't. I may have been dreading getting up on this morning, but that's only because I didn't know that this spring day was the start of something new.

My day was spent looking in the newspaper and online for job openings. I had become so good at filling out online applications and sending my resume and clips of my writing to prospective employers that it didn't take up too much of my day.

After that I left my apartment to meet my friend, Dennis Brooks, for lunch at a nearby Subway. Dennis and I had met while working for the newspaper, and even though I eventually became his boss, we developed a really good friendship.

Both of us were looking for work, neither of us was having much luck. After we exchanged the usual stories about our fruitless efforts searching for jobs, Dennis asked me about Lisa.

"Has she called you yet," he said.

"No," I replied. "I still haven't heard from her since the day she walked out of my apartment."

"Have you stopped thinking about her?" Dennis asked.

"Not for a second," I said. "I've had too many restless nights and too many wasted weekends. I know it isn't good, I know it isn't right, but I just can't get her out of my head."

"Maybe you need to do more than just meet your friends for lunch at Subway every week," Dennis said with a smile.

"Yeah, well the bar and club scenes have never really been my thing," I said. "Besides, when was the last time you went out on a date?"

"Ah, but I'm not the one pining away over an ex-girlfriend," he said before taking a bit of his sandwich.

"Ex-girlfriend," I repeated. "It sounds so permanent."

"Probably because it is," Dennis said. "She hasn't tried to contact you at all in over a month. She's moved on, and it's time you did too."

"I just figured what we had for two years was strong enough to go through a few months of a rough patch," I said.

"All I know is that if someone dropped me out of their life the way she dropped you, I wouldn't miss them. I'd move on to find someone who didn't want me out of their life ever," he said.

I knew his words were right, but they didn't register.

Lisa and I had met two years ago when I went to a local law firm to interview one of the firm's partners who had been honored by our local YMCA for his donations over the years. Lisa was the receptionist, and I was so taken by her that before the end of the day I called back and asked her to meet me for drinks when she got off work. The rest was history.

My afternoon was spent at the gym, which was one part of my usual routine that I hadn't let slip yet. I was in healthy shape, but I was definitely no bodybuilder, nor could I run a marathon.

It was supposed to be leg day, but I decided to skip the weights and I hit the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and then moved over to the Stairmaster for another 30 minutes before finishing off my cardio workout with 10 minutes on a stationary bike. I got in a few abdominal exercises and stretched before hitting the shower.

Before I left I chatted with a few of the regulars about sports and some of the major news stories. It was already 5 p.m. and I knew today was going to be a grocery shopping day, so I made our chat brief and went to the nearby Safeway.

My list wasn't too long. During my depressed state I hadn't been eating much at home and had mostly ordered Chinese food and pizza. But there were essentials like bread, milk and cereal that I needed to have, and since I was getting those things I decided I might as well stock up on things like instant rice, noodles, bananas, applesauce and the requisite junk food.

I took my time, since I was in no hurry to return to my empty apartment. After making my way up and down several aisles I looked at my list, bananas, white bread and milk were all I had left.

I parked my cart near the mounds of bananas and reached for a bunch that looked like it would be good, but instead of grabbing bananas, my hand knocked into another.

"I'm sorry," I said as I turned and looked into the most amazing pair of green eyes I had ever seen.

"It's alright," said the girl whom those eyes belonged to. "I'm in such a rush and I wasn't paying attention."

"Hot date?" I joked.

"Far from it," she said. "I got behind at work and my dog is probably tearing my apartment up waiting to go out for his evening walk."

"Then since you have the most pressing needs, you can have your pick of bananas," I said with a smile.

"Well well," she said. "Chivalry isn't dead after all."

"Not dead, just in hibernation for a few of us men," I joked.

"I would love to stay and talk, but I really need to get going," she said.

"I understand, can't keep your dog waiting much longer," I said.

With that, the beautiful stranger turned and hurried up the aisle away from me, her basket shaking in her right hand with every step.

I beat myself up for not getting her name as I maneuvered my cart over to the white bread.

"You know wheat bread is healthier," I heard someone say behind me.

I turned around and there was the mystery girl again, a loaf of wheat bread was now in her basket next to the bananas she had selected. She had a smile on her face that could've lit up the entire grocery store.

"I'll take taste over health any day of the week," I told her.

"A pity," she said. "I think I was beginning to like you."

With that, she turned and walked down the aisle away from me. I paused for a moment, should I chase after her in a grocery store? I decided against it and moved on to the last item on my list, milk.

When I got to the milk case, she was there again.

"I suppose you are going to tell me to buy skim or soy milk," I said.

"Actually, I was going to ask if you were following me," she replied. "But I would recommend the skim milk."

"I don't know if I should be taking advice from someone whose name I don't even know," I said.

"I'm Brianna," she said, and extended her hand in my direction.

"Chris," I told her, and shook her hand.

"Well Chris, it was nice meeting you, but I really do have to get going and get home to my dog," Brianna said.

"It was great meeting you too," I told her.

And with that, I let her walk down the aisle toward the checkout lanes. She only had three items and used the express lane. I had a cartful, and was stuck in line behind two other people.

With my groceries bagged and paid for I started walking out of the store when a cashier stopped me.

"Excuse me sir, but a lady told me to give this to you if I saw you," the cashier said as she handed me a piece of paper.

"What lady?" I asked.

"She had shoulder length brown hair, green eyes, really pretty," the cashier said.

I looked at the piece of paper. The message read, "No plans tonight besides taking my dog for a walk. Why don't you call me? - Brianna." Her phone number was at the bottom.

I called her around 10 p.m. that night and we talked. We talked about where we were from and what we were doing now. I didn't hold anything back from her. I told her recently I had lost a job and lost a girlfriend, and I was looking for work now. She told me she worked as a massage therapist, and that she had been single for almost a year.

"So do you usually give your number out to strangers at the grocery store," I asked jokingly.

"Not at all," she replied. "But there was something about the way you looked at me that gave me a good feeling about you."

An hour went by, then another hour went by, and soon after I had lost track of time.

"Do you know we've been on the phone for four hours?" I asked her.

"Really!" she exclaimed. "It definitely doesn't feel like that. I really should be getting to bed, I have a client at 9 o'clock."

We said our goodnights and goodbyes and promised to talk again soon. I stayed up for a few more hours, just listening to music and thinking. I was thinking that since I had run into Brianna at the store I hadn't thought of Lisa once. I began to wonder what that meant, right about the time I started falling asleep.

I woke up the next morning and after lingering in bed for too long. I got up and checked my cell phone for text messages. There weren't any.

I had a bowl of cereal, read the daily paper and turned on the TV to see if there was anything good on.

It was 11 a.m., and then the phone rang.

"So I know there's some kind of rule about calling back right away, but my 11 o'clock appointment cancelled and I figured I'd much rather talk to you for the next hour than sit her and read a magazine," Brianna said as soon as I said hello.

And we did talk for the next hour. Not about anything special, just about random things. We joked, we laughed and we made plans to talk again later that night.

That night was just like the previous night, except Brianna had to get off the phone an hour earlier because of work the next morning.

We talked about everything, and I was surprised at how much I opened up to her, despite the fact that we barely knew each other.

And surprisingly, she didn't hold it against me that I was unemployed at the moment, or that I was still getting over Lisa.

"There's no right or wrong way to get over someone," Brianna told me. "One day you'll wake up and realize you aren't thinking about that person anymore. Maybe there's someone else you are thinking about instead, or maybe you are just too busy with life to give them a thought, but one day it'll happen and you will move on."

Soon after we said our goodnights and goodbyes, and promised to talk more again the next day.

That night I went to bed thinking about Brianna and what she told me about getting over someone. I thought how amazing it was that I met this girl so randomly at the grocery store, and how surprising it was that we get along so well. Words like fate, chance and serendipity all raced through my head. And I might have thought how weird it was that this was the second night I wasn't thinking about Lisa had I not been so tired and fallen asleep so fast.

The next morning I woke up earlier than I had expected because the sun was beating through my window. For some reason I had forgotten to close the blinds before I had gone to bed.

Instead of staying in bed with my covers pulled high and my head buried in my pillows, I got up, went to the bathroom and walked over to my dresser where my cell phone was. I checked for messages, but there weren't any. I tried to suppress my disappointment and decided to shower before doing anything else.

When I got out of the shower my phone was buzzing. I had a text message. I raced over and flipped my phone open. "I love you" the message said. It was from Lisa.

I sat down on my bed, the phone clutched in my hand. What I had been hoping and dreaming about for almost two months was finally happening. Lisa found out she couldn't be without me, she was reaching out to me to get back together. My heartbreak was finally going to be over.

Except instead of being relieved, I got angry. "I love you," was all she thought she had to write to get me back after nearly two months? She didn't call, she didn't ask how I was and she didn't know what I was going through. She didn't even truly know if I was alive or dead. How dare she?

As I was debating whether or not to text her back with an angry message or just ignore her text until later in the day, another message came in.

"I know this might be too fast, but it's a beautiful spring day and I have the afternoon free. Want to spend it with me?" It was from Brianna.

I reclined against my pillows on the bed with a big smile on my face. And then the moment Brianna had been talking about the previous night hit me.

I went back to Lisa's message and instead of hitting reply, I pressed delete.

Then, off and on for the next hour, Brianna and I exchanged text messages as we planned our day together.

And outside the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I could hear the sound of a lawnmower coming from one of the nearby houses.

It was a spring morning.