A Mom's Path to Happiness

First and foremost I'm a mom. That is how I see myself right now. Will I see myself this way forever? I don't know, I can't predict the future. But as a mom I go through some things that I'm sure many moms go through.

I used to tell myself "things will get better when" fill in the blank. There are many thing's I have tried to fill the blank in with in order to make myself happy. For a while it was "things will get better when the baby sleeps through the night" then "when we moved out of the too small apartment into a bigger house", then when he got toilet trained, the list went on and on.

But what I realized the hard way, was that while saying that phrase gave me something to look forward to, the end result didn't make me happy. I solved one problem such as getting my son toilet trained and it caused another problem, "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" was said at the most inopportune moments.

So I learned that often fixing one problem lead to another, or even if it didn't solve the problem there was always another problem to take it's place. This led to a dilemma What is the new way to keep myself happy? Well the next attempt was to live every day to the fullest.

So I spent the next year enjoying every day for what it was. That worked for a while, but then you hit the doldrums and one day starts to blend into the next. So then I had to find yet another approach.

Last fall was my ten year wedding anniversary and my husband and I took a much need trip by ourselves. We booked the trip in April so I had over six months to day dream about the trip and plan. It erased the doldrums and things were great over the summer. Then the trip lead into the holidays and there were still more things to look forward to.

But then February brought back the doldrums and I hate the doldrums. I found that I needed something else to set my sights on. It hit me. Spring is around the corner. Time to come out of my self imposed house arrest and get outside and be active. Time to trade the bulky winter clothes for lighter smaller summer stuff. Time to get my butt off the couch!

So that is what I am looking forward to right now. Spring. Right now the daffodils are blooming, The trees are budding, the days are getting longer, and I'm doing Yoga everyday. Well at least trying to get it done everyday. I've been watching a Yoga show on cable and there are some moments that I end up staring at the screen wondering to myself if what they do is humanly possible. But I keep it up and I do believe it is making me feel better.

So here is my plan for now, set a goal and have something to look forward to, but never let that goal or what I are looking forward to determine my happiness. Happiness comes from within.