A Monologue of Owen Bentley

Topic: Reflecting on his life

Scene: Getting off a bus into a park.

(Scene opens, Owen steps off bus, checks wallet in backpack for more tickets)

I've only got one more bus ticket. It'll take me home. I liked school today. I could see the birds out my window. They just fly around up there, go wherever they want. They don't need a bus. That girl in the chair with wheels spoke to me today. I like looking at her face; it's nicer than most others. She makes me feel funny, but I like it. It makes me smile. That's called happy.

Mama and Dad don't seem happy. Dad seems quiet and doesn't say much to me. Mama always looks like she wants to cry. I don't like them unhappy. At least Dr. Lambert seems cheerful. He comes over and we play games, and he asks me questions. He's always nice. We used to have lots of fun, but it's not anymore. He talks about school a lot, and we don't play as much. He must be a very smart man. If I keep going to school, I'll be smart like him someday. Right now, I'll listen to Mama and Dad; they'll be smart for me. They say that what they do is always to make me happy. It did.

They don't make me so happy anymore. That girl in the chair makes me happy...I know happy... but my parents aren't. They must be doing things right, but it doesn't feel right. They keep telling me what to do, and its not always fun. Like visiting more of Dr. Lambert's doctor friends. They told me what I should take in my school. They called my school special once. That must mean it'll make me smarter.

I like painting. I told Dad I want to paint, and he said I can help painters if I want. He said I can clean their tools and such. I don't want to clean. I'd rather paint. But if Dad says so.

I'd better hurry or I'll miss my bus. I ride the bus often. It knows where it's going; it'll take me along with it. Just like my parents. And Dr. Lambert. They know what to do. They have their plan, I go with them. They're kind of like bus drivers...

Then I guess I've been riding a bus my whole life. But buses never take you exactly where you want to go. So where am I going? I don't decide that. Shouldn't I decide where I end up? (Looks up) More birds. They can be free. I'm better than a bird...I'm smarter...smart. I'm a special boy, Dr. Lambert said. I thought special was good. But there are others 16 year olds, and they aren't special. But they seem happy. I'm not happy.

I don't want to be special. I'm not special! I'm not special... They're going to know I'm not special. I'm going to paint. I'm going to be me. I'll let my heart be bigger than my mind. I'm going to stop seeing doctors. I'm going to be smart.

And I'm going to walk.

(Throws away bus ticket, walks away)