A Mother's Job to Embarrass Her Kids

Embarrass my children? No way, doesn't everyone know that Doc is perfect?!! I guess I'm not the only one I can't make believe that, because I don't believe it either, unfortunately. My poor children have been through every kind of mental and physical embarrassment possible due to their very annoying and very medaling mom. I keep telling them that I was just trying to help but somehow they never believe that.

Like the time we took my stepson to a rock and roll concert. I tried to jump on the stage and then crawled out the sunroof, on the way home, to yell to the world how happy I was to have met Davy Jones of all people. Now, I wasn't drunk but I thought that this was how the younger set acted so I was just going along with the flow. However, when it sunk in that I was the only one jumping about like a crazed lunatic, I set back down in my seat and quietly enjoyed the rest of the ride home. I think my step-son has serious doubts as to his father's choice of women.

Then there is the time I asked my daughter about her love interests in front of a group of her friends. Hey, I thought all tweens talked about their boyfriends amongst friends. Honest mistake. Well, I got yelled at for it anyhow. Oh, and lest we forget the time I kissed her in public. She is my little baby folks, so how was I supposed to know that this was a crime against humanity punishable by a cold shoulder?!! And was it so bad to ask if she had to pee when we were at the restaurant? I just wanted to make sure we didn't have to keep stopping throughout the trip.

And what about my big baby? I'm of course talking about my husband. How was I supposed to know that saying, "Hey sexy thing!!" in a sultry voice, on his cell phone, would cause his worker, who answered the phone, to say, "Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh...........Are you looking for Gary?" Let me note here that I don't have a thing for Mike although the tone of my voice when talking to him would suggest otherwise. Sorry Mike!!

Sure I have embarrassed all my kids at one time or another but isn't that what Mom's are for? If I didn't embarrass someone I would be out of a job. Now I just need to figure out who I will embarrass today.