A Night at the Bar

I hang out at the local bar not because I like to drink that much, but because of the people that hang out there. My friend Dino always has a story to tell, and even though I know half of them aren't true, they still entertain me. Acorn, (I'm not sure what his real name is) an ex-professor turned crack-head, always comes in and makes a scene. There's Sam, the owner, a woman who does not know how to treat people, especially her employees and customers. It just isn't a night at the bar, if she hasn't made at least one person angry and beligerent. Of course, who would go to the bar when their favorite bartender isn't on duty? For me it's Mandy. Not only is she a lot of fun, but she also gets slopping drunk. It gets so bad sometimes, that I have to help her. That means free drinks for me!

There are so many interesting characters, too many to mention. I never leave there without an interesting story to tell. This is one of my favorites. Acorn came in one night with a very large swollen area just above his elbow. He told us that he'd been bitten by a baby cotton mouth. He hadn't gone to the doctor, and his arm just kept swelling. Dino told him he'd give him ten dollars to let him punch him on the bite spot. Acorn said, "No, I'll let ya do it for five dollars." Before we could explain to Acorn that he had talked himself out of a fiver, Dino wound up and punched him. Puss splattered everywhere. I was right in front of them, but somehow I managed to remain splatter free. Acorn crumpled to the ground and crouched into the fetal position crying and moaning for about three or four minutes. It was very painful to watch. Finally, Dino took Acorn to the bathroom and helped him flush out the rest of the infection. When they returned to the bar, Dino bought Acorn a shot of whiskey. He perked up (more than I'd ever seen him) at the sight of that shot...until he realized the whiskey would be poured on his wound and not in his belly. I'll never forget the scream he let out when they poured that bourbon on his arm. They tell that story every time he enters the bar. He'll never live it down.