A Parent's Easy Guide to Modeling Kindness

Guiding by example is such an easy but often overlooked parenting tool. I'd like to share some very easy ways to show our children that we care for them and for the many different people in our lives.

1. Get children involved in donating to those in need. It can be as simple as looking through the closet for clothing that has been outgrown. Food items such as canned vegetables or dried beans and pasta are usually welcome at pantries and soup kitchens. Many cities have agencies that can distribute these items properly. Check your local phone directory if you're not sure where to go.

2. Ask the kids to help you write get well cards to friends or family members who may be experiencing illness or hospitalization. Even an email note is thoughtful, but a handwritten note or homemade card is very touching gesture that really shows you care.

3. Offer to help the children with various tasks, and make sure you notice when they have been helpful to others. Ask if they could use some help with straightening up their room or cleaning up the orange juice that just spilled all over the counter. We all have moments like that, and I know that I really appreciate it when someone lends a hand.

4. Try leaving little notes for the kids in a variety of places. Dry erase markers work very well for jotting down fast notes on mirrors and windows. I think books also make nice hiding places for a surprise letter. Try placing a note in the pages of a book your child is currently reading. Just a simple hand written note that says "You're a great kid!" is bound to be well received. Another idea is to leave small gifts on their pillow or dresser. Cool stickers, a wrapped piece of chocolate, or a new lip gloss are some easy ideas.

5. Get caught in the act of being thoughtful! Hold doors open for people when they've got their hands full. Allow someone with few items to go ahead of you in line at the grocery check out. Offer to help someone pick up the things they just accidentally dropped. Children emulate adult behavior, good and bad, as part of the growing up process. It's not too hard to give them something positive to copy.

6. Practice being a good listener. Get into the habit of asking for your child's thoughts and opinions. Discuss their feelings about a particular food, song, or movie and try to include them in conversations children are often left out of. Showing that you value their ideas is a great way to model thoughtfulness and a fun way to know more about your child as well.

These steps aren't complicated and they certainly aren't exhaustive. I hope you'll think of many more ideas to put into practice with your children. We should all try to keep in mind that children do learn what they live and that they are learning it from us!