A Parent's Guide to Adjusting to Preschool

The transition to pre-school can be challenging for 3 and 4 year olds and their parents. Preschool is a big step for children, even those who are veterans of the daycare system, because of the larger-scale environment and school readiness emphasis. And for parents, the seemingly overnight changes in their children can be startling.

More Children, More Behaviors

Ages three and four, when many children begin pre-school, are years of exploration and increasing independence. Children leave their baby years behind them while still retaining many of the curious characteristics of the early years. Simultaneously, children become more susceptible to social pressure and the pre-school environment creates opportunities for social learning both good and bad.

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) recommends specific teacher-child ratios for early childhood education centers, including pre-schools. These numbers vary by class size, but in general, a ratio of 1 teacher to 8 or 10 children is a strong predictor of program quality, developmentally-appropriate curriculum, and positive interactions. As children get older the recommended teacher-child ratio increases. The larger class room means that children spend more time on their own or in small groups, and without adult attention 100 percent of the time.

Additionally, a pre-school may have a two year age span and 5-year-old have a lot to teach 3-year-olds. Children entering pre-school learn how to behave in social environments, about sharing and others' feelings, and how to follow a general schedule. All of these behaviors will serve them well before entering kindergarten. Conversely, whether it is swinging on the monkey bars (and then banging their heads) or imagining fishing poles (and catching little girls dresses), the older kids demonstrate new physical behaviors.

Parental Response

Combined with new behaviors (such as potty talk and pushing smaller siblings), parents may feel exhausted by the amount of positive disciplining they have to do at the end of the day. Following rules and playing nicely with other children is hard work and by the end of the day, new preschoolers can melt down and have temper tantrums, leading parents to wonder what is going on at pre-school. And the best thing to do is to ask.

Find the child's teacher and ask about his day. Don't be deterred by a "oh he is doing fine" response if your child comes home every night undone. If he consistently points his finger at his younger brother and says "you need to listen" but it's not a phrase used in your home, bring it up. Most pre-schools have open-door policies about parent-teacher relationships and welcome parent involvement. If you are unhappy with the level of feedback you receive from a teacher, ask more specific questions.

Preschool Resources

Similarly, utilize the expertise of the child's pre-school teachers. You know your child best, but they know this age group and what to expect developmentally. According to the Bright Horizons Preschool Curriculum Guide that is handed out to parents, "learning is an interactive process. Research has shown that young children learn best through active exploration and interaction with other children and materials." At this age, the emphasis should be on fun and basic skills, and not competition and rote learning, and as you and your child gets comfortable with her new environment you'll both be surprised by what she knows.

Because of this, parents may need to take a step back and be patient with their child's adjustment to preschool. As the Bright Horizon guide details, pre-school teachers have particular insights about aspects of child development and young children to share with parents

Pre-school is an exciting time for both children and their parents, but can be a little challenging at first. The more comfortable parents feel with their children's preschool teachers, the easier time they will have helping their children learn what behaviors are acceptable and how to get along in a classroom setting.

Sources:

NAEYC

Bright Horizons Preschool Curriculum Guide