A Parent's Guide to Everything Needed for a NICU Baby

I was 24 weeks pregnant when I began feeling a bit out of sorts. I wasn't experiencing any of the normal cramping or pain they tell you to be watchful for; still I knew something wasn't quite right. My husband and I went to the hospital where they gave us the news that would change our world. My cervix was funneling and the baby was already in the birth position with his head at the top of the funnel. I found myself living the moment in slow-motion as they wheeled me up to my room, without realizing that I would be staying in this room for the next month and a half. I was terrified, my husband was terrified, but the scariest part was still to come: The NICU stay.

What is the NICU?

The NICU or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit is the nursery specifically for babies who are born premature or with complications. One way is to think of a NICU like a hospital with in a hospital. Everything with in the walls of the NICU is tailored in size to fit babies, and the staff of doctors and nurses are trained to care for the tiniest of patients. The NICU can be a scary and overwhelming place if you are not prepared for the sights and sounds you see.

The constant beeping of alarms, the sounds of little cries, the calls of the staff to each other when a baby shows signs of distress; can at times frighten and worry any parent. The constant movement, shuffle, and hectic nature of the NICU can begin to wear down new parents who are already in a frazzled state of mind. I remember some days where I longed to just stay there until my son was released and other days where I felt like a nervous break down was about to occur. Luckily the staff from the high-risk unit, the labor and delivery unit, and the NICU staff themselves all tried to help us prepare for our son's stay in the NICU.

Can I really prepare for this?

Yes and no.

Yes if you have enough time like my husband and I did, no if you are caught by surprise and suddenly find yourself having a baby at 24 weeks with no way to stop the impending delivery or you have a full-term baby with complications.

One way you can prepare yourself is to read up about possible complications in pregnancies. Talk to your doctor about the things that may happen and what effects these things could have on your pregnancy and your baby. Talk to your doctor about anything with in your medical history or even genetics that could cause complications to arise for either you, your baby, or perhaps even both of you.

Take time to contact the hospital where you will have your baby and ask about their maternity tours, if possible ask if they talk about the NICU or have information to show you some of the things you may see if your baby ends up in the NICU. Try talking to other parents about their experiences and about any complications they may have had and what was done for them. As always use the internet and research topics that pertain to the NICU; stories, experiences, information, etc.

I can't do this, I'm not strong enough!

Yes, you can and yes you are definitely strong enough.

One thing that still amazes me to this day is how much strength I gained from my son. I would see him struggling to take a breath, or fighting with the nurses when they had to change his IVs, and suddenly I would find myself full of strength. After all, if this little guy who weighed less than 3 pounds could fight like a prize fighter then I could definitely be strong.

The best advice we were given was to talk. Talk to anyone, anything; heck talk to a pillow if it's all you have; it doesn't matter so long as you talk about what you are feeling. Talk to the nurses and doctors, ask questions and never be afraid to tell them just how scared you are for your child or children.

Search for local support groups. Most hospitals have the names and numbers of local support groups for just about any topic. In fact a good number of hospitals hold their own support groups; your best bet is to ask either your nurse or the hospital's patient resources department. Every hospital has a Social Services department, ask to speak with a Coordinator with in the department and they can help you find any information you need.

Let's get real, not everyone is wealthy.

You're right, not everyone is.

My husband and I were struggling to make ends meet before we found out about the complications in my pregnancy and the impending premature birth of our son. We needed help, but we found ourselves worried about how it would look to our family and friends. We found ourselves facing medical bills that reached the Million dollar mark, and no way to afford them. Our insurance covered some but there was still an enormous amount left over that wasn't covered. We found ourselves sinking into a pit of despair and slipping further into a state of depression, until the Social Services counselor talked to us. She had us make an appointment with the financial department at the hospital, from there we were able to find out our options and get the financial help we needed.

If you know that you will be facing financial hardship because of the impending birth of your child or children then contact the financial department at the hospital immediately. Talk to them about your concerns, and about your situation; believe me they will have every resource available to help you and they will be able to find a way to help you with the expenses. There are many programs including state medical insurances, charitable programs and other resources to help anyone who needs it. Don't be afraid to ask for help, with this kind of situation, a family needs all the help and support they can get.

Okay, my baby is in the NICU, now what?

Now comes the hard part. The days and nights of agonizing over what is going to happen next and what tomorrow will bring. The hours spent waiting by the phone for the call to come that your baby didn't make it, the worries and fears of what will happen as your child grows. What long term effects will he or she face, disabilities, and even long term care.

First, breathe. That's right; breathe and breathe deep. Relax and take a step back from the situation.

Now, you need to face the reality of the situation. We were always told to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. They never sugar-coated anything and in fact they were so honest that at times I wanted to scream: "Do you mind smiling for once!" Of course I never did and even though I wished inside that they would just sugar-coat things, I was glad they didn't.

When the doctors or nurses begin using terms you don't understand ask them what they mean, they will never be upset at you for asking questions. Ask the doctors and nurses to slow down if you find yourself unable to grasp the information, ask them to put things into terms you can understand. If you're still not sure then find a way to meet with them one on one when they have a spare moment. Make sure you have the phone number to the NICU and keep it with you at all times; you'll be surprised how often you find yourself wanting to call at one in the morning to check on your child or children. Often times the nurses had to remind us that we needed sleep and rest just as much as our baby did, but never once did they become upset at us for calling.

Typically you will find that the NICU's and hospitals offer a lot of classes for new parents make sure you sign up for these. It's a good idea to take a CPR course while your baby is in the NICU. I would recommend taking one even if you've taken it before, just as a refresher. If your child will be going home on a monitor or oxygen then make sure you get the full amount of training and teaching you need to be able to cope and care for your child. Now would also be a good time to find out about visits at your home from nurses, you will definitely have these if your child goes home on oxygen or a monitor of some sort. You should start making arrangements for pediatrician visits and find out if your child will need to see a Neonatologist as well.

My baby is coming home, but now I have to take everything back!

No you won't.

In fact all you need to do is make sure to stock up on preemie diapers if your baby was born premature, and a couple of preemie outfits. Don't go wild buying preemie items because chances are your baby will out grow them rather quickly. If your child was full term but born with some sort of complication or needed surgery then you will want to ask the doctor's and nurses if there are any special items needed for your child. The paragraphs below pertain to premature infants and things you might need for them.

Almost every brand name disposable diaper maker offers diapers sized to fit preemies. With a quick web search you will be able to find several stores that cater to premature infants, including ones that provide cloth diapers and clothing sized to fit premature babies. One recommendation is to find side snap shirts if your child is on a monitor or oxygen, this will make life a lot easier when dealing with the cords and wires that connect everything to your child.

My husband and I found that our son was very sensitive to various soaps marketed for infants; we finally found that the more organic type soap like Baby Bees from Burt's Bees was perfect for our son. The ingredients in the organic soaps and shampoos are gentler on the skin, and helped prevent irritation in our baby. We only bathed him every other day and made sure to use the softest wash cloth we could find. Bath time was definitely a two person job for us, especially with his size and the fact that we couldn't keep him off the monitor for long.

The last thing I would recommend is a play-pen with a bassinet attachment. You will find that having the baby sleep up higher- in the bassinet- is much easier than bending down to pick him or her up. Also, the regulations on cribs take into account a full term, full sized infant and not a premature infant. We measured the space between bars on our crib and found that there was a possibility for our son-given his size-to get caught between the bars. Ultimately we decided that having a play-pen with the bassinet on it was a perfect fit, and gave us a bit of comfort at night. It also allowed us to have him right by our bedside, which made it easier and quicker for us to get to him when and if the alarms from his monitor sounded.

I can do this!

Yes you can!

Remember this is only a guide to help ease the mind of any parents facing the possibility of a stay in the NICU for their infant or infants. The best and most important piece of advice I can give is to arm you with as much knowledge and information you can even if you are sure that everything will be fine. Ask as many questions, take as many classes, and work hard to prepare yourself and your family for any complications that might arise.