A Parents Guide Through the Burden of Peer Pressure

As preteens enter adolescence, the influence a parent holds on a child seems to diminish. Friends and surroundings appear more important than the guidance of a parent in what will become the toughest stage of a child's life. Understanding the changes a child's mind and body are going through, although difficult to comprehend, can be achieved with the simplest forms of communication and a very watchful eye.

As a child enters puberty, drastic changes are occurring both physically and psychologically. So changes the world around them as well as their identity and the behaviors they identify with. It's through these changes that a parent must help an adolescent make the best choices of who and what to identify with and not be drawn into the chaos of peer pressure.

The burden of peer pressure a child faces is overwhelming. Subtle changes in a child's daily routines are normal in adolescence as they progress towards young adults but may be associated with light peer pressure. Drastic changes, on the other hand, may indicate the child is at the hands of extreme peer pressure. For example, a request for a new and popular style of shoes might indicate a child's desire to belong to a certain peer group. Although it might be considered a form of peer pressure, it's probably not too drastic of a lifestyle change to be worried about. On the other hand, a child that is completely withdrawn from family activities with a totally new wardrobe is a telltale sign of peer pressure in its worst stages.

There is no stopping the stages of adolescence. A child is forming who they will become to be as a young man or woman. They are learning their independence and experimenting with different lifestyles. Their dependence on there friends also grows leaving behind the safety and well being of home.

So, how does a parent support a child through this awkward stage and prevent the very negative effects of peer pressure? First, understand that feeling peer pressure for a child is normal. To what extent is the burden at hand?

The easiest way a parent can ease the burden of peer pressure is through communication. A child knowing he or she can still talk with their parents will succumb to peer pressure to a lesser degree. A gesture as simple as a smile or an "I'm proud of you" keeps the line of communication open.

Next is noticing the changes in a child's daily routine and understanding if they are normal or somewhat drastic. There's no doubt that change is inevitable but how it takes place can be a good telltale sign something might be wrong. And lastly, knowing where the line in the sand can be drawn. A parent can't choose a child's friends. He or she can, however, enforce rules of associating with a certain friend if it's felt that friend may be leading a child down the wrong path.

The burden of peer pressure is something every child will endure. But, the lure of drugs, alcohol, violence and risky sexual behavior associated with peer pressure can be limited by proper parenting. Through good communication, a watchful eye and an understanding of good discipline, a parent can share in the burden, and influence better choices during a child's most impressionable years.