A Parody of Web 2.0 Design Necessities

The following are some rules of thumb any modern web 2.0 designer must follow if they wish to not be ridiculed and reduced to making intranet websites for local school districts.

Never ever use squared corners

This is the first rule of the web 2.0 design club, and if you mess this one up you might as well go home. No one wants to look at your sharp corners; in fact, they make my eyes bleed. Get them out of my sight immediately! It doesn't matter how you accomplish it: whether it's layers of crafty CSS code or by plastering nice, shiny round images right on there.

Every graphic must reflect off of every other graphic

Speaking of shiny, if you didn't know it already you must construct all visible elements from a plastic that glows ever so brilliantly in the digital sun. Especially the bottom of the webpage, which has to have a real nice reflective aura; and that aura needs to have a shadow, or else. A 35 degree angle or so for the imaginary light source comes recommended. Bonus points for using gradients and transparency.

Use AJAX EVERYWHERE

Make sure your AJAX search box complements your AJAX commenting system well, and if you don't tie it all together with an AJAX login box you are really just an amateur. Once you get really good, you'll have people telling you how much they really like your AJAX footer; they just can't stop clicking it. That's when you know you're well on your way to web 2.0 design fame.

Blatant Visibility of Options to Comment and "Connect"

People need people, man. And no place do they need each other more than on the internet. They need to be able to send an AJAX-powered message at least eleven different ways, and messages should be publicly shared at all times. If I don't have the option for an RSS feed specifically sending me the comments on an article on Internet memes from three years ago, you have failed me as a designer.