A Personal Perspective on Child Discipline

I remember learning about the different parenting styles in high school and then again at the college level in sociology. It seemed clear at the time what kind of parent I was going to be; an authoritarian. I was going to be strict and my children were going to obey; that's what I thought. However, later on in life that belief has been put to the test over and over again. I defined what kind of parent I was going to be, then, by the definitions given.

The different parenting styles are authoritative, permissive and authoritarian. An authoritative parenting style means that the parent lays down strong rules, regulations and restrictions for their children. There are clear rules to be followed; with little explanation 'why.' A permissive parenting style means that parents have few rules and regulations in their household. However, their children receive lots of love and support. An authoritative parent means that parents determine what rules they are going to set for their children based on the individual child and what best fits their personality. These parents are more than willing to provide explanations and guidance with much love and affection. With time I changed and so did my outlook on life, moreover, becoming a parent changes everything!

Parenting can be quite challenging, however, it is also very rewarding. I do not consider myself to be a disciplinarian; however, I strongly believe that it's important to find a balance. It is also important to remember that what works for one child most likely won't work for the other. I was introduced to a really good book called; "1-2-3 Magic: Effective discipline for children 2 to 12." It teaches how to discipline your child (ren) lovingly, encourage good behavior, and still maintain your parental authority. It has been a good guide for me.

As a fairly new parent I have learned how to be consistent and more importantly firm. I now give my child time outs, take toys away or something that is important to her, when she is not at her best. Moreover, how to effectively communicate with her about the positive things that she has done well and the things she did not do well. In addition, I am always communicating to create some degree of understanding between my child and myself. I don't think that it is okay or even logical to have expectations of children and to not communicate those expectations effectively. I believe it's important to stay in harmony with who a child genuinely is. Children may not completely understand everything now; however, I believe that if parents communicate in a way which their children can understand and are consistent, the children eventually will. Parents who involve themselves in this process are planting the 'good seed,' and in time, children will be relatively close to the people they were meant to be.

It is essential that children become good citizens among other things (that is good or positive in the world). To establish this, I realized that I needed to be a good example. Children absorb everything they see and hear. Today, I believe that it takes more strength, courage and support to be good parents. Considering the duplicitous messages that our children receive in the media, music, and peers, it is up to us as parents to dig deep and follow our moral compass. We as parents must stay informed so that we can guide our children into a bright future. I expect that it will come it stages, and it is important to focus on where your child is presently at. Nonetheless, it is our responsibility as parents to prepare ourselves and our children for the many wonderful possibilities the future holds. I am a new parent; my children are still very young, however I'm learning as I go. Along the way, I have come to the realization that no amount of reading and preparation can truly prepare us for what's to come. I only pray I have the je ne sais quoi, and strength to do what I need to do for my children as they grow.