A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

A picture truly is worth a thousand words. An individual can look at a picture and interpret so much about an individual, based on their facial expressions, their posture, and the overall mood in the picture. The Kodak film brings the memories that people have to life. Photography has became a magnificent art form because of its ability to say so many different things to so many different people. Rather it a be a photo in a family scrap book, or one plaster on the newest issue of Newsweek. The picture of my father and I me at my third birthday party means so much more to me however. At that point in time, I was an innocent carefree child, who had no idea that there life was about to change drastically. Contentment was across my face as I sat on my father's lap for one of the last times.

Little did I know he would be brutally taken away from me barely two weeks later. My father was murdered shortly after my birthday. His death marked a drastic turn in my life. Growing up without a father hands-down wins the prize for the most difficult experience of my life. Every time I look at the picture of us together at my birthday party I began to get teary-eyed. Its just a picture, but yet its so much more. It represents all of the happiness and memories I shared with him. It also represents a life cut short. Unfortunately the picture doesn't only mean good memories though. Every time I take a glance at it, I feel guilt. Guilt for barely knowing anything about my father. Guilt for not knowing that those were the last moments I would spend with him. Guilt, for even remembering the sound of his voice. Deep down inside I know it is in no shape or form my fault. My birthday picture just reminds me of every single moment I never had with my father. Growing up was difficult and every night as a lay down to sleep I think about what life would be like with my father here. When I was three, I had no idea what murder was. I didn't know what it meant to have your father taken away from you. I didn't find that out until I was older. So I never actually mourned my fathers death, and I barely coped with it until I 14. It is still something that I struggle with, but I deal with it. Even, if I wanted to bring him back, I couldn't. He is in a better place any how.

Overall, the picture of me at my third birthday party represents childhood innocence to me. I was still in that vital learning stage. I was Still learning right from wrong. My only wish was that I didn't taken my life for granted in that picture, but at that early age does any child not take there life for granted? Now, as I'm finishing high school, and beginning a new chapter in my life, I only wonder, what my father what have thought of me. I love my life now, but I would go bake in a heart beat to be a 3 year old again just for one day. Pictures capture so many human emotions. Pain, happiness, sadness, joy. They capture human beings in their essence. I would have never though in a million years that one of my most treasured items would be a picture taken with a disposable camera over 14 years ago. But, it's the truth. Photographs definitely mean so much to some people. When someone's home is destroyed, they don't miss the sofa or the computer. They miss the photo albums and scrapbooks that house all of the beautiful me memories that they have shared with others. Pictures remind of us of everything we are, and everything we use to be, that is why, they can say so many things.