A Poem for My Grandmother
Grandma Ada: My Safe Haven
This is not a pretty poem. It is about the night that my Grandmother died. It does express the loss that I felt and the story is real.
They called at sunset,
She's taken a turn for the worse.
I teenage, rollers in hair,
Panic rising,
Is she dying?
Car moving toward the dying sun,
Hospital cold and white,
Her room maw opened wide.
I denied,
Body empty,
Souless,
Deflated like a wrinkled paper bag.
Rage, disbelief,
Horror,
Pain assaulted me.
Grandma! How could you leave me?
Grief for myself only,
Lonely, desperate, terrified,
You lied.
You said you would never go.
I love you Grandma and I always will.
I was of an age, teenage, where everything was about me. I was angry and full of disbelief. My mother and my Aunt didn't shed a tear. They stood at the foot of her bed, robotically making funeral plans. I understand now that they had done a lot of grieving already and was glad that her suffering was over. I on the other hand never accepted that she was dying. Her death was a finality that I couldn't accept.
I loved her with my whole heart. When she died I didn't believe that I could go on. She was an amazing woman in spite of being uneducated. She was imperfect and very backward but to me what mattered was that she loved me and made me feel protected in her presence. I knew that she would always be there for me to the best of her ability. When cancer stole her life and ravaged her body, I couldn't deal with it. As an adult I understand so much more. It still pains me to think of what she went through and that was 43 years ago.
Published by Shana Dines
Shana is an award winning artist. Her specialty is pastel portraits and watercolors. She has illustrated a children's book and has written and illustrated one now in publishing. She is a Christian but believ... View profile
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22 Comments
Post a CommentOh, Shana, this is my favorite poem of yours that I've read. You pulled out just the raw bones of words to give it power & make us feel it. Excellent. This style works for you. I was especially touched by "Car moving toward the dying sun" and most deeply by, "Deflated like a wrinkled paper bag." Thanks for sharing this one. I'm so sorry you lost your precious protector at an age when you still needed her. Obviously your dear Grandma taught you love.
This one made me teary !!...I so am here with you in these words !
My grandmother just passed away after 4 months of us caring for her and her cancer at home. It was a very hard process for me, and I appreciate your poem, even though I'm not a teen. Thanks so much for sharing.
I was an adult when I lost my grandparents and still feel this way at time, my life seems so empty without them, each one played a special part in my life.
Very touching poem.
What a nice poem "A Poem for My Grandmother"! :) My Grandmother is in her late 70's now and we know the day will come when this magnificent woman will go to be with God. While she is here, we love her completely. We will miss her when she is gone, but SOON we shall all be together again and that is such a wonderful feeling! God bless you and thanks for sharing your poetry! Thumbs up! :)
My grandma was my favorite person in the world, and I'd give any of my material belongings just to spend a minute with her again. I know you would too, and I know how much you miss your grandma. I miss mine too. Our grandmas were very loving, and that love was unconditional. We can talk about our grandmothers and keep their memories alive. :)
This made me cry for you as a teen in pain. There are few things more warm and safe than a grandmother's love!
What a touching poem Shana! can feel for you and understand your pain, having lost so many dear ones myself :(
A loving tribute and poignant memories. Thank you for sharing!