A Poetic Romance Novel: The Dawn, Dusk, and Night of Rick Rogers

Have you ever felt alone and sad? You haven't done anything to hurt anyone; you just wake up and see no one on the bed beside you. You know that in your heart you are worth everything to God, and you love God with all your heart, but you wake up in the bed with no one next to you. You don't want anything sexual, for you just want to be embraced in the morning. You just hope for that one person to be by your side. You want a woman that will listen, and you wish for one that you could listen to. However, you are all alone and by yourself.

Well this day Rick has awakened in the morning. He cries because all he sees are the white walls of his bedroom. He prays to God, thankful for the day, but by himself. He walks into his bathroom and does his morning routine. As the water petals fall to the ceramic pumping out heated mist, Rick stares at the metal faucet. He fades back to his dream at night. In his dream, he owned a small house, and he had a beautiful family. He would play with his children constantly, and he embraced his wife giving her a smile and breakfast in bed. In his dream, his wife, who was nameless, went to the gym with him and ran beside him on the track. They joked around about some movies they watched, and they kept on running together.

After the run, Rick and his wife jokingly argued about who would shower first, but Rick, being a gentleman, lets his wife go into the shower first. Rick then started to look at the shower in reality, and he cried as the water turned to ice tearing his mind from his precious moment of the nightly dream he had. He didn't feel good anymore. He wasn't sick because he was just sad. As the cold water hits the ground, Rick cries to God. "I love you God; this you know... But why do I have these dreams if I am to wake up alone. Why did I have these dreams? I am to be tormented by this which I want? Why, Lord why? If I am to never have a woman, then don't let me dream of having a wife. Make my heart cold towards loving any woman. It is too painful to live with these dreams and have no woman. Why is there even a face in the dreams Lord? It is painful. Please make these dreams go away."

But needless to say, what will happen as the day transpires when dawn turns to dusk and dusk turns to night. Rick walks to the park, and he sees a man and woman sharing ice-cream. Rick sees children playing joyously. He sees two people male and female holding hands. Rick sees a husband and wife jogging together and joking around about the jog. He sees a couple arguing, and another couple is making up. He has no jealousy. And he doesn't want these lives, but he wishes he had a wife that he connected with like everyone else he saw. He wanted to have someone take care of him when he got injured, but he has to depend on his friends and burden them with his pains.

"Beep beep!" Rick looks at his watch and notices that it says 1300. Rick goes back home and takes another shower. He then gets ready for work. He puts on the same uniform that he just got back from the cleaners by the park. Rick looks in the mirror and sees that he is not ugly, but he calls himself ugly. There must be something if no woman wants to be with me. Rick feels more than humble. He feels that there must be something wrong with him. Rick looks around and hears his alarm go off at 1340. He starts to dance to the music a little to cheer up. But then he thinks to himself, "I am dancing by myself, how lame..." I must be a loser and certainly a goober. That's what it is. I am a nerd. I like studying, writing, and video games. Those are highly undesirable for any woman. I play chess and workout in my free-time. Women don't like men like that. I play sports and dance. My desires are to split for any woman to like them. I am a nerd. The things I like are too different for any woman to be into them with me.

Rick's alarm rings again, and now it is 1350. Rick climbs over his queen size bed and turns his alarm off. He grabs his uniform blouse and heads to the kitchen. He thinks again, "I am too laid out... My food and everything was already prepared for work. I am just so pathetic. Maybe it is my job. What am I saying? There are people in my job who are married. I am just a loser... That's all. I'll just go to work and focus on my job, for I know how to do that well. Oh wait, my boss is going to ask me why I am in an hour early. I'll just tell him the truth. I have nothing better to do and don't want to be in my apartment. No I'll leave the second part out. I'll just tell him that work is a lot more important than anything else right now. It is kind of like a drug that lets me not think about being alone. Whenever I am in my apartment, I feel like I am sobered by reality.

Rick goes to work, works a regular day, and then he goes home. Dawn has become dusk, and dusk is now night. At his home he sleeps again. Rick then has another dream. This time, he is at a picnic bench reciting poetry to his wife on a romantic moment. The time passes, and they lay on the bench looking up and staring at the clouds. Content with each other they are. They truly love each other. Then a ring is heard. Rick wakes up again to face the day of dawn for a new time, but he just sees the same white walls and no one next to him in the morning.

The dawn had awoken Rick like the morning kiss to send a person off and away. Love hurts his heart so much, and his heart now lies on the floor ripped open because of the horrible sadness. Rick is filled with tears this morning, for he can't stand the pain and sadness of feeling the dreams without an answer to them. He gives up on the dream never to see the thought even, or so he thinks. Then again, he gets together like every other morning.

Dawn becomes dusk, but this time dusk freezes for Rick. A lady named Joanna calls him from long ago. It was the girl of his dreams so long ago back in high school. He picks up his cell phone as he is driving home and says, "I'll talk later..." He then hangs up and continues to drive safely. He and Joanna had a promise to always be friends since everything that had happened to them in high school. Anyway, he called her back, so then it was night and time for bed after the conversation.

Later, he is getting ready to enjoy his weekend as a new dawn has started because yesterday's mundane day was Friday. He gets ready to wash up, and as he approaches the shower he remembers last night's conversation with Joanna. During his birthday on 21 March 06 a girl named Laura whose smile was as sweet as brandy with cranberry juice, with a soothing ear, and comforting voice had left a break up letter on his apartment door. He talked to Joanna about the whole thing and how sad it had made him. Joanna said, "Don't think about that. She doesn't sound like she was worth your time Rick. That was back in March too, it's May now. I tell you what. You don't even need her as a friend when you have someone like me. Tell her to go somewhere." Rick smacks himself in the shower. "Why did I not see this before?" Rick got himself together for his last softball game with his bible study group before he had to go to the desert to do some landscaping for Glue Post-War Housing Company. Rick had realized that he needed to call Joanna. She ended her call with, "I want you to be able to talk about anything even if you do talk about her." She said it with joy at the beginning and sadness at the end.

Rick was getting in the softball game, but after making a run he stepped out of the cage and took a quick walk so he could call Joanna and ask her about her comment. He got no answer, so he left a message. He had left for the desert a few days before he had gotten a chance to get a call back from her, but she called back it was just too late. Meanwhile, Laura, his friend since all that transpired, had stood him up that day he was supposed to get a ride from her to go to the airport. So Rick had called his friend Jonathan. He had asked Laura for a ride to see whether she was dependable, and then he had asked Jonathan if he could be open if she failed. Rick thought that everyone deserves a second chance, but Laura had failed the test of friendship. She had then apologized asking Rick if he could write her in the desert via cell phone conversation. Rick had written her alright, but he took Joanna's advice. He wrote, "I tried to be hopeful towards a friendship. But every time you tell me something, you do the exact opposite. That in light of the way we broke up brings my heart pain when I talk to you Laura. I loved you and you said that you cared for me too, yet you left me for another person and things did not work out, so you apologized about it. I feel used. Anyways, I care about someone else, and she told me not to talk to you even as a friend. I agree with her because I feel pain. If I didn't I would continue to write. A last, you had broken my heart. Anything can be forgiven, but some consequences can not be avoided. God bless, and I harbor no ill-will against you; I just want you to find what you want. Good-bye." Rick feels pain even writing the letter, but maybe he was too harsh he thinks.

Chapter 2: Dreams

Asleep in his desert tent Rick dreams about the words that Joanna said. He laughs and says, "That is a joke. I never get something that I wished for like that. We are just friends and nothing more." However, the dream insists that he take this course so that he may see what may have happened without any doubts in his mind. Her face replaces the face of his dreams, but he ignores them and goes to work in the desert doing his job. The night then passes, and then dawn arrives...

Day by day, dusk by dusk, and night by night, he lives each moment thinking about the next moment. Rick continues to dreams. He dreamed about Joanna waiting for him to ask her out. He doubts it though. He plays it off as an over active imagination. He thinks to himself, "whatever, why should I stay this course?"

"Because you will love her later wondering why didn't you try."

"This doubt is not healthy. You must open this door to move to the next door." "Where will the door take me?"

"Open it and find out."

"You're funny, now I know this is a dream."

"You will dream this constantly if you don't at least ask."

"But no one would say yes to me. I am ugly..."

"You foolish man... She thought about it also. You people have danced around your feelings for years. You are both single. Take a shot at going out and let it take its course."

"It is like there is someone else there for me. Why should I push forward with her?"

"Because you love her right now, and you must go out with her to learn about her and kill your curiosity."

"Well then... I shall not be obstinate to my heart. I will call her when we move out of these dreadful tents and into a room where I can talk to her alone."

"Very well oh stubborn mule."

"I said that I will give it a shot."

"I know you will. You love her, and you tend not to hide how you feel. She is going to say yes to you though."

"I have to stop arguing with myself."

Although the conversation was an argument of logic and feeling, Rick had found a good reason for both logic and heart to answer such a notion of a dream. Logic deduces that he cared about Joanna, and he would not forget that unless he gave the relationship a try. It also deduced that breaking up with Laura was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. So he tried to do that which was in his heart. Rick wakes up to the sandy dawn of the desert. He then goes through his day. There was dusk, there was night, and then he came home from work. Rick found a way to use his cell phone and calls Joanna. Upon calling her he talks about a few things and asks the unrelenting question rested on his heart.

"Hey is this Joanna, it's me..."

"Rick... Aren't you in the desert?"

"Yeah, oh my gosh, I can't believe my phone works here."

"Did you call to talk to me or about your phone working?"

"I am sorry, I am just shocked."

"Well how is it going over there Rick?"

"I am doing great I guess. I kind of miss talking to you. But I just remedied that issue. I had to ask you about something. You said that I could ask you anything right."

"Yeah go ahead."

"You have to consider it and not laugh at it."

"I will. How long have we known each other and been friends?"

"I guess I just need to come out and ask you."

"Go ahead..."

"I really care about you, and I want to know what you think about us. Can we have a relationship? I care about you a lot. And before I left, there was so much left that neither of us said to each other."

"You know I really care about you too. You just made me feel like the happiest person in the world."

"I can't tell you how happy and relieved I am to have heard that."

"We should have a song for us."

"Well I am looking up at the stars, and every time I thought about you I thought about the stars in the sky."

"I am looking at the stars thinking about you too; perhaps our song should be 'Somewhere Out There' since we waited so long. That will be our song."

"I like that song a lot."

"I'll send you some pictures and a copy of the song."

"That would be awesome."

They had then proceeded to talk to each other. They had so much to talk about. Such good friends they were, but for the first time they said yes to each other. They were both on clouds above in these moments that continually happened.

Chapter 3: Home Coming

The desert time was passing by as a flower wilts away. Dwindling slowly as the flow of charm and eloquent speech tipped the tongues of the two lovers by wire and pen stroke. They transferred emotion at dawn's break. They continued till dusk. Then they wrapped each other in words of caress during the night's cold embrace. Alas, the desert time was still passing by like a tree leaving summer and approaching the fall. Correspondence between Rick and Joanna was well played like a game of chess, a poker game, or per say a roadway act; however, their love for each other was surely no cunning, bluffing, nor acting. For their love for each other intertwined in their hearts, it bloomed like blossoms on spring's greener hills. Like a blue rose to a dreamer, or a red rose to lovers, they were to each other.

Rick embraced the gravity of joy, the levity of comfort, and the fullness of being whole. He felt the red and blue roses while dreaming dreams of joy and wonder. The genie's lamp was rubbed, and the star had fallen. Rick's golden circle was formed in his heart of hearts. In this kaleidoscope of emotions Rick had a thought of piercing propulsion, and it said, "We must remember God. Everything we do, we must take into account that which God wants us to do. We must think about God's will." In this thought, Rick had thanked God for his wonderful gift. Then as time passed on, he slept with the enticement of adoration upon his heart. There was dawn, there was dusk, and there was night. For more days of Rick Roger had transpired.

Explosions everywhere! Rick awakes to death. Bloodied faces of friends and associates lay upon the dirt of the tent complex. "What happened?" Rick asks a multitude of people. Shaky visions and tears of blood sit upon his face. "Sir, calm down, for you need to sit down so we can look at you." "Is that Johnny; is that Mira, why is Chris lying there still and lifeless?" "Sir, calm down; you are injured." "What is going......?" Rick passes out from a tiny pin prick in his arm.

The man who was once in shock awakes. All of his friends, as he realizes, are dead. He is rudely thrown from his happiness and joy. Rick was shaken and frustrated, but his company had decided to pack up and leave. Rick's stuff minus his clothes, toiletries, and cell phone were already on a flight home. As for Rick, he has woken up on a military base with his doctor taking his pulse and explaining everything to him. Rick is sad to go home, but he finds joy in that he is coming home to Joanna. During the pronunciation of his return home on the cell phone to Joanna, she cries with joy. She is speechless and unable to put together her words. It was a love story of pure joy as all stories start out.

After arriving in the airport next to home, Rick stays at his old home in Maryland before going to his company's quarter in Camden, NJ. As he stays in his family's house in Maryland, his next door neighbor, Joanna, invites him to hang out. They decide to have a peaceful dinner together, and then they walk down to an old bike trail while staring up at the stars. "You know Joanna; I remember lying in your nap on the field and just relaxing."

"I remember those days too."

"I felt so comfortable lying in your heart's embrace."

"Our thoughts were as a serene and peaceful lake, or a beautifully made poetic colloquy."

"You played your hands across my hair like a harp."

"We made a beautiful song together."

"That night under the stars the tune sounded like a precious melody."

"Your hands were firm and protective."

"Your skin was as soft as silk."

"Your warmth wrapped me like a mink blanket."

"Your touch felt like a rose petal traveling gently across my face."

"That night was my blue rose."

"You were my carnation."

"You were my red rose."

"Our relationship bloomed like a blossom then."

"Yes, it had spread like daisies upon a field."

"Now we are back to the line of that field."

"Can we be in that field again?"

"Now we are like trees."

"Then we can not start over?"

"But we can continue."

"The dagger of love has struck us down before."

"This time we have our fortresses closed."

"Let us put down our shields."

"We shall hold each other on this."

"This path, this day, and this time is ours."

"And alas, we kiss..." (They kiss gently.)

"Wow, your kiss is like warm water tickling down my back."

"My words and my kiss may feel like silver, but they are actually gold and platinum, for their integrity can never be poached; you will always be the apple of my eye."

"And I love you like a guardian angel sent down to protect me, and you are my favor, my king, and my heart."

"As you are my joy, my queen, and my heart."

"I love you."

"And I love you."

"We love each other; we favor one another, and we enjoy our company."

"I came, I saw, and I conquered," he whispers.

"What?"

"Nothing, just a side note."

"You would mess with a romantic moment! Jerk!"

"Huh?"

"You kn (-pause-)."

Rick kisses Joanna under the stars with the confidence of a lion, the strength of embrace like a bear is firm, the speed of a cheetah, the cunning of a fox, and the finesse of a gentle dove. As they kiss, they feel their heart beating faster thrusting them into a new chapter in their life. It feels like they are floating on a silver cloud with violins playing upon the background. They then go back to the field; they embrace each other and stare at the stars. Once separated far apart, but now they are together at last. Now they are in perfect harmony like a melodious psalm. However, this is not the end of the story. Romantic beginnings can always have variable endings. There are a plethora of stories, but not all stories end with joy and marriage, nor do all stories end with tragedy and heart break. Whether happy or tragic, you have merely met the players of this game and act. For love is not to be laughed at or scoffed, nor is it a game, yet the actors on the stage do treat it as such. This pretreated cognition often turns love into a dagger or a blanket. What is the difference between a sheet of fabric and a blanket but a single and yet simple design of thread, a name, and a very thin line. What is a thread to a blanket? A blanket can fray, and it can rest as a comfort for others. Will this tree be green or brown? Let the story be told because now you have been invited to dine in the life of Rick and Joanna. This weaved web will unwind for you to see and perhaps learn something from the journey of two lovers.

Chapter 4: Joanna & Rick Conversation

Rick Returns to his company's quarter in Camden, NJ. There he goes through dawn, dusk, and night dreaming about his time with Joanna that had made him so happy and joyful. Rick jaunts in his apartment fixing his hair, shaving, and showering. Shoot, shower, and shave he does knowing that he is loved. Every action is now like a well supported motion. Respectfully enjoyed his actions are because of his heart and the girl who loves him. Joy is his today, and he loves Joanna forever as says his mind and heart. Of course, a frayed moment could dismay all of the cushy floaty euphoric feelings of present. Maybe it would put his thoughts in disarray. Or perhaps his heart will turn to clay, and then it will become hard to stay as he loses his way. A point will be made this day. And then we could all say to shay. But in the end, his heart will be held at bay while the other heart is made to disobey. When this happens and the brick is to lay. Then the pain will never go stray. Maybe everything is okay. In this case, grab a seat and sit on a stack of hay, and you can watch this story play.

Rick talks to Joanna on the phone. He tells her that he will see her soon. She inquires as to when. He replies with uncertainty. She says, "Please come soon. I miss you and can't wait to see you." "I shall try. Be with you I will. I shall not forget you. Like a bound bow, I will be in your hands. Like an enchanted arrow, I shall land where you aim. Like a well placed target, I shall be where you need me to be. Don't you see? You are my honey and I am your bee. You are the key to my heart sweat pea. Free to love as we do, I shall never flee, and I will look at you with more than simple glee. These eyes shall see you with love and patience to a tee. Endeavored we shall be; I truly love you my sweet honey bee."

"Rick, you are so sweet. You make my mind go tweet. My heart goes beat beat. Your voice makes me rest. Surrender my heart to you I have. You are more than my honey bee. If I am your queen bee, then you are my honeycomb. Your love gives me shelter and refuge. My heart gains a sweet taste of love and cherries. Indeed, you are like an h'orduerve, a full course meal, a salad, and a dessert. A taste of your voice makes me crave more. Your love leaves me full. Your words and advice keep me healthy. And just being by your side makes me feel so much pleasure and joy."

"But surely, you feel how I feel and see how I feel. This should declare my love for my precious angel."

"No angel am I. You know my past. I want to be me, but I want to be different than who I was in my past. Don't you remember the shame on me that I brought to you? So many mistakes I have made; why do you love me so?"

"A sinner I was. Not perfect will I be counted at present. Righteous by Christ I am. No record of wrongs do I keep. I know your secrets, and I know of those few present mistakes. I even know about that one time at band camp. I forgave you of the pain you caused me. Just know that I love you for sure. Distraught you may be, but you are an angel to me. I love you dear for who you are in sincere. Your mask I see through, and I really love you indeed. My angel, my angel, falling or flying you are my angel to be. I love you for you, don't you see. You are not my flea, for you are my sweet honey bee."

"Eloquence you see. Oh dear, your words are better than platinum. Your actions are the vanguard to my heart. You try to make me happy. Dear Rick, I love you too. Let our love never become like bones and dry dust, nor tumble weeds and empty feeds. I will not sell our relationship for simple beads, but I will hold precious golden reeds in your stead. When you succeed, I will have secret mead. I know you love me now my great honeycomb."

Conversation flows like a gentle stream between Joanna and Rick. Like weeds, on that same field their love started, their love grows fervently and relentlessly. However, this fertility is more fragile than such as the eye can see. Events don't always turn the clock forwards. Some reshape and turn the clock backwards. And such is the next chapter to be seen. There was dawn, there was dusk, and there was night. Rick Rogers can now transpire into the night awaiting another dawn's break. When it is time to go, Joanna approaches Rick; she tells Rick that uncertainty has visited her in the middle of the night. She mentions that she doesn't know or understand her feelings any more. A tear shed for a tide turned. Rick is over encumbered, and he sees the black rose growing on the brown tree. The blossoms have met winter, and the white roses have wilted away to wither and become dust of vines no longer present. This day is marked by disdain and distress. Summer's dawn has become fall's dusk and winter's night. A silent night it is.

Chapter 5: Jonathan Friend of Mine

Driving back in a summer turned winter, dawn has broken, and Rick was fleeting. While driving from Maryland to Camden, NJ, Rick remembers his friends, mainly Jonathan and Joanna. Rick cries as he drives back not wanting to think about pain entrenched and bestowed upon his bones.

"Jonathan, Jonathan, oh friend of mine... Where art thou? Close we were for sure indeed. We joked and laughed, played and plowed, competed and rivaled... Thou lay in thane dust of wood holding black roses like Joanna's love for me now rests. How could this be such calamity to strike me? Thane best friend and thane lover are both in the dust. One skeleton walks while the other lay bare in the dust of cherry wood. How I miss the games, and the things we did, but a last, He had room for you in his house above. She still walks on earth dying inside with uncertainty. Selfish I would be to deny you this, and to wish her to go where she is uncertain to go; however, you are both missed Jonathan my dear friend, oh, and Joanna whom I must now try to forget."

As he thinks of his friend, Rick finally arrives home to his apartment in Camden, NJ. Weeks upon weeks he rests in his apartment dropping rivers upon bonded beige cotton framed with hard wood and sturdy soft fabrics. Rick misses Jonathan, and he also wishes things had worked out with Joanna. "Where do I go from here?" He asks himself but to no avail. No joy, no fun, no Joanna, and no best friend to be around, with, or have... Adoration and joy graces his far beyond for God. Now Rick's eyes are set before and upon an almighty king.

Rick turns to God stronger than ever in his dismay. Like a mustard seed he becomes. Alive more ever than before and vibrant like a cheetah or a bunny he has become because of God. Realization of other friends sets in and Rick zealously attends the other relationships almost forgotten. He grows to a level not reached before for his past self. His attendance to his friends has come to again. While at the study, he is welcomed. People inquire of his homebound adventure, but he wishes not to revisit the recent agony of Joanna that he has so forbade. This was not a well-hidden mask, for it was merely an honest frustration that was to receive hammer and nail in a coffin lying more than six feet under. Needless to say, his friends at the bible study did not want to delve deeper showing empathy towards the neon lighted road warning signs. Deeper depths are not always needed to see a pain buried deep in one's heart per say.

Together they pray as a family closer than family. True blood more true than family trees is the bond of these brothers and sisters. No blood type or DNA is thicker than these lines of blood. If blood is thicker than water, then this blood is thicker than egg nog or titanium. Jonathan was a good friend and study partner, but all people must soon pass. Every man lives to die, but these men live to live. Parody or living life one may ask. However, life is not a cosmic joke, and we are not cosmic chumps. Each of us has a purpose, and Rick has learned that he must press on in spite of loss of heart and friends. People progress to new plateaus in life; here is Rick's plateau. Rick is still climbing one last mountain though. Striking fear through dawn, dusk, or night, it is called depression...

Chapter 6: Mountains to Climb

We all have mountains to climb. Looking into desolate plains, it is hard to see a way out. So much heart ache has made us afraid to fly. What does one do when their wings are clipped, and there is a large mountain to climb? I don't know how one can express pain and ask for help. Those summer sweet dreams are gone forever or so it seems because we can only see linear and are unable to see outside the timeline. Our weakness is the hope once had but destroyed. The pain causes us to suffer, but we must manage despite the circumstances. People are not children of coincidence, for we are meant to feel the birthing pains of life. However, these pains are not supposed to happen in a perfect world. We are only feeling the effects of sin eroding us away. Rick has learned even more what pain is. His suffering has made him sober though.

Like a hangover only without alcohol, Rick feels pain in his head. He was drunk off of life before. He had money and joy by the dozens. He remembered God a lot, but he did not count his actions and act wisely. He fell in love with Joanna and let her do a lot of what she wanted. He shed his guard for Joanna's love. Sadly, she took his heart in a blender and grinded it up into tiny bits and pieces. Joanna took Rick's heart and ran over it multiple times. Rick was very depressed and destroyed. How can a woman confess her love and then turn her back the very same day upon the same tongue. Confusion was the fuel to Rick's depression.

Rick climbs his mountain. On the journey he sees his friends dying. Everything that he wanted, he has to give up because of his career job with the Post War Housing Company. He has always been close to his friends on his journeys, but he could not reach out and touch them. The times that he was able to see his friend's faces was only seconds and minutes along a journey that lasted for years. Every girl he sees on his journey had cheated on him, left him, lied to him, rejected him, or fell for someone else. There was no one out there it seemed. His friends were like the sun in distance; you see that it is there, but it is out of reach. His family was like the moon in span; you know that it is there, but it is far from you. His relationships were like paper in water; it would seem to be strong, but it would wither away in the in the test of natural elements. All that was left in this mountain journey was a block of confusion.

"What is it that I see?"

"You must continue to press on."

"Who do I hold this conversation with?"

"There is something inside of you saying to keep going. I know that you are hurting right now, but love is true. This pain will go away."

"Why can't I breathe the breath of love just once in my life? I just want to settle down and have the support of another that I love."

"These times are tumultuous times; I see your heart is broken, but you have a lot to continue on doing."

"Humph... I feel that my wings are broken in her arms. I feel my words are spoken inside. She was all I wanted. Now, all of my dreams had crumbled around me. Somebody save me from myself. Reality seems to bend to my pain. I don't want to stay in this state. The journey has become long and arduous. I saw the world in her eyes. The waves were moved in my heart because of her. She was all that I ever wanted. Somebody save me, somebody save me, and I don't care how you do it. I will walk to the edge of this mountain, yet I don't want to jump off. Somebody save me, for all my dreams are gone."

"Stand up child of God. You were saved and still are."

"But I want to stay at this ledge."

"No you don't. Now back away and don't jump."

"If I jump off this ledge of my dreams, then there will be no more pain in my heart."

"Yes, you will lose your compassion and love for others though. Don't do it. There is so much more than one woman, and you know it better than I can explain it. Listen to your heart, mind, and soul."

"Whey there, to follow my heart is the folly of a fool."

"However, a man takes wise counsel wherever it comes from. Your heart loves and belongs to God which I never had to remind you of."

"Touch me and feel my head. It is hot here because I want to jump off the ledge. I lost her, and my friends are not near. What do I have left?"

"You have your job, your life, people that look up to you, honor, and, most importantly, God. Don't sell yourself short young, and I do mean young, Rick. Why else would I be wasting my time talking to you child."

"Points to be well considered, but I still loved her. She was my world."

"Put yourself in a new world."

"Perhaps..."

Stuck in a loop of trials, and his journey seems long to him for sure. Rick feels trapped and unable to escape. He doesn't know who to trust. His world turned upside down like a pancake. His life was heated like a flaming meal. Where does one turn when the closest person to you rips your heart out skillfully? Is there anywhere to even turn? Depression has wrapped its tentacles around Rick like an octopus sulking its pray. At his doorstep it will lay until he puts himself together to face it. In the end, after the depression ends, Rick realizes that he is alone with no one to be with. Maybe it is this new transition that makes Rick afraid to finish his climb on the steep mountain of depression. The tears of solace, pain, and loneliness become the vice and the dungeon with no key. Who wants to leave their prison in dawn, dusk, or night when the criminals and wild beasts are outside the cage?

Chapter 7: Sword Play

"What a steep mountain. Finally, I have climbed to its higher heights. Alas, what forgoes in this sight of mine. I see a man surrounded by six beasts and holding chains. How evil he looks right now. Each beast has a tag on its neck also. This man's eyes scare my heart into a frightful feeling of plague and ache. This must be the gate keeper to my dismay."

Rick faces the puppet master that plays with his heart. What can he do? He knows not what faces him beyond the rusted gate, but he knows what he faces now. Rick raises his sword that appears in his minds eye. The puppet master yells out, "Despair, dismantle him and tear him apart from inside out." Rick takes his sword up and slashes the beast from one side to the next after a hasty struggle. "Self-doubt, break his will and make him crumble from the edges with every move he makes." Rick puts a shield upon which his faith is embedded and blocks the nasty erosion of self-doubt. He then stares the beast in the face, and it disappears as if it wasn't even there. "Distrust, unbind him so that he has no support to stand on or hold him together." Rick begins to lose all sight and his mind. It is like his whole body was falling a part. Rick then tightens his belt of truth. Then with his shoes of readiness he yells, "In God I trust more than anyone else; this is where I get my support." Distrust then starts to run, but it implodes and burns away. "Lust, cause him to struggle, so he feels separated from God." However, the attack is blocked with his helmet. Rick then slashes away at Lust continuously until it is vanquished ensuring that not even the smallest piece is left. "Fear, make him be afraid to stand up." Once again Rick stands his ground, and fear becomes afraid of Rick, and it melts to the floor disappearing into the air. "Frustration, upset and turn his world upside down." Rick yells, "Sit down and be gone evil beast. Whoa to those who cause strife?" Fire falls from the heavens and burns frustration.

The puppet master then speaks again, "My name is Depression. You have killed my pets that I use as tools." Rick aims his sword at Depression. "Tormenting me you had so much fun. I am not your little play thing. I will not bow down to you or your beast."

"I will make you bow child"

"I can not. Your will has made my heart too much."

"You are falling out of reach ignoring gravity that has left you open to fall faster than lightning."

"I will stand up to you. There is something out there that knows you. And you're on my turf. Whether it is dawn, dusk, or night, this is my life..."

"We shall see."

The two fight and clash swords like two ballet dancers competing for the teacher's approval. Swing, slash, and strike they go. A twist here, a turn there, and a cross slash over and over. A ray of light named Hope then comes from behind and disintegrates Depression. Rick starts to see a brighter life and a road of sunshine. Rick throws his sword in the ashes of depression, and then he smites the soot off of his sword as he sheaths it. I shall not give quarter, nor aid and abed freedom for Depression again.

Chapter 8: Snap Back

His vices are slain. Rick doesn't feel insane because he knows that he is perfectly sane. Joanna had him act in vein. However, the leech will no longer make him feel the drain. Depression had been made to leave town on the white and black train, for Hope has given Rick a brighter brain. No quarter given to Depression will feed him a healthier grain. Heartbreak must now step back and refrain from its grasp. Now, even the mention of doubt is considered profane. As well, foolish tracks lain will be lifted with exploding propane while victory will taste as sweet as sugar cane. Whoa to mental oppression and frustration, for it is like cocaine. To accept it either will bring a lot of pain or a lot of destruction, so Rick has chosen to travel a new lane. He wants to reach new heights with his hope in God being used as a great aero plane. No more plain days to be had because he will proclaim a name higher than his that has stake on a claim upon his soul and his main desires. No one will find his sin stain on the carpet although many try to bring ill will when they complain. Rick will be ready to serve those false complaints a strong disdain, for Rick follows a word that is ordained. He will lift that Word like a sword or a crate on a crane. The truth will shine like light on a window pane. This is one Lion that will not be tamed. Nothing will destroy his happiness not even the cold hard rain or a beautiful dame. Evil will be maimed. Rick walks on a high plain with a very diverse terrain. When the evil wolves approach, he will strike them with wolf's bane. The very face of malevolence will feel very lame because it will know that its time came. There will be only itself to blame, for its defeat was in the end, as in the old days, the very same. Evil feelings were beat in Rick's town square with rod and cane. Rick must now wait to retrain. For now, darkness' depression is to be detained. Unfortunately, if Rick lets his guard down, then depression may once again reign. Such a sour-sweet victory like lemon meringue pie it seems. Next time, Rick will hold on to hope like a feign, and it will come down like a hurricane because with depression there is no such thing as being humane, for to give quarter is the same thing as accepting the slavery chain.

So basically, Rick wakes up to reality. He has a brighter future now that his pain was left behind to be forgotten. Depression struck at Rick with despair, self-doubt, distrust, lust, fear, and frustration. However, Rick had slain the horrid beasts with help from on high and the bright light of hope, truth, and courage. Like a pillar of stone or steel, Rick faced adversity within his own heart. These things are the very thoughts that fuel hatred, sin, inadequacy, and fear. Stronger men have tried to conquer these beasts, but few have ever succeeded, for most succumb in a fiery tomb that was built by their own failures such as the Titanic, Britannia, and Lusitanian. These things are all sinking ships. This is what those who lose the battle to depression become. A query is then raised asking whether or not Rick is stronger than those other men who have battled. Perhaps he is not because on his own he could not win. Fortunately, he has become strong, however, because he humbly called upon the almighty king to defend his castle and bring glory to Him who is I Am.

Meanwhile on the other side, unbeknownst to Rick, a family that was and is thicker than blood ties, who saw Rick's pain, prayed and petitioned for him. They loved their brother so much that they did not sleep a wink, and they did not rest peacefully until they saw bright and shiny hope. There were many that loved Rick, and Rick did not see such love until he knew something of the prayers of others. A well formed prayer squad molded with God's will and true love is like an awesome army, a band of super heroes, a chorus of angels, or a squad of Legionnaires.

Rick's emotions are in check because his friends used a prayer squad. This proves that when a man feels that they are battling depression alone, they are not really that alone. One loyal soldier is the power of the entire kingdom. Layer upon layer of protection was wrapped around Rick, therefore, when he stood against wrong, it had a profound effect that crushed the wicked assault that depression held strong. Rick is now better than before however.

A battle royal was held with depression that was as extensive as the rhymes and confusion explaining the battle. Rick won a bold victory because his friends, his Christian blood, stood together for him. Rick is strong because of the Spirit in him. Rick is now comfortable with who he is because his esteem is not in himself, but it is in a more true king who really is the most truth that this world of sin rejected. Holy, Holy, let there be light for sure. Rick has snapped back to reality, and he will go on to do great things. There was dawn, dusk, and night for another day in passing.

Chapter 9: Closure

Rick gets up at dawn's break. He sees no one in bed beside him, but this time he is neither sad nor happy. Rick is content. He says, "Let your will be done today." He is filled with joy to simply see the light of dawn. He gets out of bed heading towards the mirror and says, "I am destined to do great things. My Shepard has told me that I am valued in His eyes, but first I must come to closure of my past."

Laura came into Rick's mind, but he understands that a woman afraid to face him and tell the truth is not truly a woman at all. She did a devious act on my birthday knowing that it is the worst day of my life. I loved her, but I can not be with a woman like that. I was given an aegis when I was broken apart from her for sure.

Joanna was a woman that I loved more than any other. However, I saw her signs of uncertainty long before she said anything. I know her eyes, and her eyes did not match her words. Perhaps she may be sure, yet a person who is fickle and wishy washy will land where the winds and the tide lands. These things shift constantly. I was blessed for her tide to be blown away from me.

"Life is not really bad at dusk I see. During the night I sleep comfortably now. At dawn's break I wake to a new day perhaps even a better way. Closure gives a great out take."

Rick has found closure with all that has happened. When he woke up, an epiphany was had for sure. Laura was selfish. Joanna was very shifty. Two women as these can be summed up as trouble. Rick had figured it out, and he had all the answers he needed. After this day's night transpired, there was dawn, dusk, and night as usual again because these moments are the only certain ones during the passing of the day.

Chapter 10: Finale

Rick still prays for a woman for him to meet. However, it seems that it is to no avail. This time he is not bent out of shape, and he does not look down on him self. As the day comes to, many things have happened.

Rick, after realizing his place and true home, he becomes a world renowned writer. His books change the tide of possible conflicts quelling them with peaceful solutions. He also wins the Nobel Peace Prize for 'Words That Changed the Face of The World'. He also tempers a large Christian association that brings more freedoms, which were ripped away, back in schools.

He builds a memorial to all of those men and women that died during the Glue Post-War Housing Company. Also, there is a 300 story apartment complex above the memorial. Now thousands of poor and homeless have homes to sleep in. He also built a chow hall and clothing outlet next to the complex. The area is called Jonathan's Corner.

Also Rick and all of his bible study friends play sports together on the weekends. During the week, they visit children's hospitals putting on shows and giving out lots of love and joy. They also study intensely on Wednesday nights.

This day is a newer day now. While sitting in the park, a beautiful woman trips into Rick's lap while she is running. Rick looks at her face ten years later from when this story started, and he recognizes her face. It is Joanna. Joanna apologizes to him for all that has happened, and Rick forgave her.

"Is this an angel or a dagger in my lap?"

"I love you, and I know it now."

"What took you so long?"

"I don't know."

Joanna hugs Rick and kisses him on the lips. Rick is guarded, but he kisses her back. They both still love each other like years before. The green trees replace the brown trees, and the black roses turn white, red, and blue. Love sings upon the winds up until the day at the chapel covered with white roses and wine. Two lovers walk down the red carpet to their beautiful honey moon.

Years later, the couple has five children. The fact is that God did hear Rick's prayers and was just waiting for the right time. Rick is not rich in money, yet he is rich with love, friends, joy, and so much more. As I said earlier, not all stories end with tragedy. This ended with a marriage made in heaven that no man on earth could ever break. This true love was to be forever young. Rick and his wife constantly dated, and they were filled with more love than Cupid himself. Their love was like an overflowing river that would never end and spawn life everywhere that it had touched. The Roger couple took note of their final days even. Their children had moved on to be strong, intelligent, Godly, and successful. Rick and Joanna died together on the same day of the ripe age of 120 years old. Together they were buried holding hands. It is said that people can hear them playing together like children in heaven if they look up to the skies and listen. Thus, the days of the Roger Family and their love was seen by all. In the end, there was dawn, dusk, and night and those were how the days of Rick Roger and Joanna Roger were lived. Each day a new day to spread God's love and joy.