A Red Rose : :Sometimes Getting a Rose, Ain't Worth It..

I really used to like red roses
But don't care much for them now
You see, I had a bad experience
Trying to get one for my gal

Now she was pretty as a picture
And I wanted a rose for her hair
So I raided the boss's garden
And found her a flower so rare

The one I wanted to get her
Was upon a bush, oh, so high
I had to climb upon a bucket
I had to give it a try

That bucket wasn't made for climbing
Of course I know that now
And as I was a falling
You know, I thought about my gal

Yep, I jammed my left hand
And I banged-up both my knees
Thought things couldn't get worst
But then I heard the buzz of bees.

With them stingers hot on my trail
My run for safety was intense
I didn't have time to open the gate
Hell, I ran right thru the fence

Barbwire has a way of grabbing hold
And it removed jeans and shirt
Now mostly nude I ran like Hell
I knew this was going to really hurt

Those bees had plenty of places now
Where they could sting and bite
I saw my only escape was straight ahead
Toward the pond, I made my flight

I dove in head-first in perfect form
And was glad I got my wish
But to my surprise, when I hit the water
It wasn't deep enough for a fish

My face hit the mud on the bottom
And the bees hit my bottom on the top
I came up yelling and screaming
"Oh please make `um stop:

The bees flew away and I waded out,
My, my butt hurt and my eyes stung
I finally thought I had made it safe
Then I stepped in the cow's dung

I had lost my boots, back in the pond
And the smell of the Poo was bad
The ooze came up between my toes
I was really getting sad

Then the cop pointed at the sign
posted by the pond on a tree
Yep, it said, "No Swimming"
and guess what he gave me.

Now I couldn't see and was near naked
Besides being hurt, stung and fined
And all because of a little red rose
is why I was in this little bind

Now all of these adventures made me think
And when I do, my stomach sours
And if there's anything I've learned from this
My gal can pick her own damn flowers