A Redneck's Take on Nicole Kidman

One uh mah favor-rite hollywood starlets is Nicole Kidman!
She makes mah manhood holler from below the belt if ya know whadda mean. Hyuk! Hyuk!

After she's dun scrapin' the mud paddies off her face, I reckon she looks like: a fencepost with the knotholes in all the right places.

Nicole Kidman is purdier than all mah tattoos put together! Yeeehaaaw!
Mah Great Aunt Airballoon is filled with hot gas over Nicole Kidman.
She say when they got the look, they cain't klean an' kook.

Mah uncle Seamcrevis reckons Nicole Kidman would be more fun than pluggin' up gofer holes on a lonely nite.

Maybe wun day she'll visit mah hometown 'n ah kin show her the sights: the bars, the churches--the football team...

She dun impressed her fans with them goofy thangs that made her faminous.
Nicole Kidman come a long way from that shy little gal who used to raise her bra up the flag pole.

Next time the wife hits ya with a fryin' pan and sends ya packin', be shore to pack yer rod and don't ferget to check out Nicole Kidman.