A Response to Corinne Maier's Book, No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children

We live in a society that worships pleasure. The French may be known for their Epicurean tendencies, but I certainly am no exception. Though I am an American wife and mother, I highly prioritize enjoying life. I am a generally happy person who is always up for a good time and who daily finds ways to have fun. However, some people can idolize pleasure in such a way that they miss out on what truly matters in life. Corinne Maier is one such person.

Corinne Maier is a Frenchwoman who regrets her decision to have daughter Laure, 13, and son Cyrille, 10. If you think this sounds harsh, read her book, No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children. The content of this book is self-explanatory; she attempts to build a case against having children, listing forty reasons why children bring only misery to their parents. Reasons include the fact that labor is painful, breastfeeding is inconvenient, life lacks spontaneity, and a mother's love life is forever ruined. For those who worry what her children may think, Ms. Maier offers this consolation: "People often ask me what my children think of the book, but they don't give a damn. They live in their own world and I live in mine."

Ms. Maier goes on to say that her children throw tantrums, act up in public, and undermine her authority. Readers who are parents themselves may begin to wonder how talented Corinne Maier is at mothering; the unruliness of her children suggest she has failed at the role miserably. It is true that most of us don't enjoy activities we aren't good at, and as the author whines about the inconvenience of children, one must not be too surprised that her children are whiners as well. The apple never falls too far from the tree.

Ms. Maier insists that "your job as a parent comes first, and the romance in your lives is replaced by DIY and dusting." I would argue that this is simply Ms. Maier's choice. Life is nothing but a series of choices, and though many parents choose to put their relationship on hold to focus on the children, I am a mother who has chosen otherwise. My husband and I decided before we had children that we would put our relationship first and incorporate our children into our lives, not the other way around. Instead of hurting our son, this has instead given him a sense of security, because he is blessed enough to know that his parents love each other very much. Parents all around the world have chosen to structure their lives this way! Ms. Maier is clearly throwing a tantrum over something that would not have happened had she exercised the power she was given as a parent. Parents who practice protectiveness concerning their marriage actually have relationships that are enriched by children, not harmed! Ms. Maier should have researched parenting techniques before jumping in with both feet.

When asked why she had children in the first place, she says, "because I am an only child. I thought I would be less alone if I had a family." Ms. Maier portrays herself as a very needy person who has attempted to fill the empty void inside of her with the companionship of children. Such selfish motivations truly set her up to fail. One must wonder what unrealistic picture she might have had of children before giving birth to not only one, but two offspring of her own. Was she surprised that labor hurt, that children wake up at night and sometimes get sick at inconvenient times? Was she not once a child herself? In many ways, it sounds like that is exactly her problem: not only was she a child, but she seems to have never matured into anything more. After all, children are people who know no better than to live life for nothing but themselves. Maturity is what motivates mothers to endure the pain of childbearing for the greater beauty of bringing life into the world, to pull themselves out of bed in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, and to stay home from a social event to care for a sick child. A child cares for nothing but his or her own pleasure, and poor Ms. Maier is plagued with this same youthful selfishness. She will never be able to find pleasure in the privilege of raising up the next generation until she can find beauty in living for a purpose outside of herself.

Ms. Maier says she settled for the boring job of "economist" so that she could leave work in time to pick up her children from school. Now she is a "writer." The sad truth is that there are millions of economists and writers in the world. Most of them will one day be long forgotten by their colleagues and those who read their work. When Ms. Maier is old, chances are that those who knew her as "economist" and "writer" will have moved on with their lives and forgotten her. In one sense, economists and writers are a dime a dozen. For each mother who leaves the rat race to focus on raising a family, another young professional will take her place. The world does not value its economists and writers like it values its mothers. Yes, being a mother takes a lot of work, but those who willingly invest their lives into their children reap their just rewards. Those who have parented well find parenting to be the most rewarding job on earth. Those who fail to love their children and resort to negativity and complaining have truly chosen the harder path. She may have chosen the path of motherhood to escape her loneliness, but the more she neglects her role as a mother, the lonelier she will become. Has she forgotten that loneliness often haunts us most vividly in old age, when the world has lost its use for the elderly? In those wintry days, our children and grandchildren become the bright spots in our lives, and we in theirs. If this sad writer continues to provoke her children to wrath, it must sadly be acknowledged that her future looks even bleaker than her lonely past.

One must hope that Ms. Maier comes to the realization that children only love unconditionally for a little while. Her inability to value motherhood thus far probably means that it is already too late for her, though redemption waits for some people and a few lucky mothers are given a second chance. It is my hope that people can hear her negative rant as a cry for help and learn from her mistakes. In a world where many may have forgotten the wonder of having children, the timelessness of parenting still rings truer than Ms. Maier's temper tantrum. All across the ages, all around the world, children have long been regarded as one's crowning achievement. Let us not lose sight of the bigger picture but for a little immature selfishness. It is time the world recognizes that there is no greater calling or more noble task than equipping and nurturing our fellow human race; they may be young now, but the future of our world rests in their little hands.