A Review of the Braun SmartControl3: We Must Still Consider Ourselves Monkeys

Ever Since I was 10, oh so many years ago now, I have always had a great love of electronics and electrical devices. Since then, this great love of mine has not diminished one bit, however, when I was 15 years old, I did have to rethink my stance that everything electrical was superior to their non-electric counterparts. One small device, that looked so attractive and cool to hold and use, proved itself useless on the face of the earth-and that is the electrical shaver.

Even though I was only 15, I had already grown a mustache which was still lingering around in some circles as fashionably acceptable in the mid '80s. My dad had a mustache, my uncles all had mustaches and not a beard in sight. The mustache was still in and the beard was only for bikers. I learned to shave at 14 and one year later when I got my hands on an electrical shaver, I was pretty damn excited-only to receive one of the greatest letdowns in the course of my adolescence. This thing pulled and tugged at my face like it would rip off the skin, even though the shaver was brand new. I ran it up and down, back and forth, and about 75% of my hair remained.

I didn't understand it. How could such a product even exist? Has the whole world been so taken in with electric devices that they had been snowballed into believing it worked? To this day, I believe it is the work of mass hypnosis.

Now at 36, I have been forced to try the electric shaver again. I was introduced to the Braun SmartControl3 4775 (note: it has since been renamed the Series 3 Solo). A Christmas gift from my Aunt Maddie, it sat staring at me in the bathroom until mid January when I finally gave in. I opened the package with an open mind hoping that some space-age technological advances had made the working electrical shaver a reality.

The specs of the SmartControl3 are impressive. It is a rechargeable unit that operates wet or dry and holds its charge for 40 minutes of continuous use, which is not quite enough. I'm guessing they figured this out in testing, so they allowed the cord to attach directly to the unit for unlimited use. Allegedly, the razor features Braun's patented 3 stage cutting system, "to ensure a close, comfortable shave." Of the phrase I can only agree with one word-comfortable, as I didn't seem to receive a shave of any sort. The only thing that did work was the beard and mustache trimmer. You see, as the '80s wore on, and passed through to the 90's a nicely groomed beard was considered fashionable and handsome, and is really good for hiding the blemishes and scars of youth.

Again, I had nothing but disappointment. I was so enraged I simply let the shaver drop from my hand into the trash can. I didn't even see the use of putting forth the effort of a casual toss. While my cheeks were indeed shaved after much cajoling, nothing could make the Braun shave my neckline. It was useless. I got out my Mach 3 and smoothed out my neck with my usual pleasant strokes. With all the advances of modern science, we still cannot make an electric shaver that does the job. If you don't believe me and must see for yourself, you can buy one at your local Best Buy for $72.99.