A Review of the Heroes Season Three Double-Premiere

Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) has always been one of my favorite characters on Heroes. But after the first episode of this season (titled "The Second Coming" . . . a fact we'll look at later), I'm just not so sure. Peter has already made some pretty silly mistakes. He got Simone Deveaux (Tawny Cypress) shot in season one, paired up with Adam Monroe (David Anders), one of season two's major villains, and very near killed Nathan (Adrian Pasdar), not to mention a huge chunk of the U.S. population. Just when you think Peter Petrelli couldn't get any dumber . . . he does.

Right at the offset of Season Three, Peter goes and causes a butterfly effect through time. And instead of grasping the fact that changing other stuff only makes it worse, we get to endure future Petrelli causing some seriously bad ripples in the Heroes-universe's timeline. He starts off by sticking present-Peter into the body of a seriously bad dude now known only as Jesse, a guy so evil that the best way Noah Bennet (Jack Coleman) could describe him was, "You don't want to know." He keeps Claire from going to Odessa, Texas (the place where all her fun little misadventures began), which leads to her having, as Angela Petrelli (Cristine Rose) put it, a "really bad day" (which we'll get to later). He sends Matt Parkman (Greg Grunberg) on a magical trip to the middle of a simmering African plain. Oh, and did I mention he's the one who shot Nathan? Someone needs to teach this guy the "best laid plains of mice and men" philosophy.

Then there's Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere), a.k.a. Claire Petrelli (late in season one we learn Nathan is her father). Claire's "bad day" as described by Mama Petrelli is actually probably the worst possible day of anyone's life . . . Ever. Imagine starting your day with finding out your dad has been shot, and escalate to having the ultimate bad guy, Sylar (a.k.a. Gabriel Gray, portrayed by Zachary Quinto), show up unexpected in your house. And cutting open your head . . . And fiddling around with your brain. And stealing your soul. I think "really bad day" is a really big understatement, Angela.

Now that our favorite villain is back, I think it's time for a name change. How about, Gabriel Petrelli? That's right, folks . . . Mama Petrelli was a very busy girl, it seems. Giving birth to a flying man and two empaths is all in a day's work for Angela Petrelli, who is now the leading lady behind the Company (after the untimely death of Bob at Sylar's hand). And talk about evil . . . Not only did she want to blow up her youngest son, and make her eldest the hand puppet of the psychotic Linderman (Malcolm McDowell), but she's also Sylar's mommy. How scary can it get?

I think we can all be pretty amazed by the stupidity of this whole, twisted family. When Uncle Sylar came for a visit to Claire's brain, Claire runs around the house trying to find a door to escape through. Instead of, say, a window. I mean, come on, Claire: It never crossed your mind to jump out a window like you did in Season One to get away from your dad and Grandma Petrelli? You can leap several stories to get away from them, but won't smash your way through the first floor window to get away from Sylar?

Peter, you can't just leave time alone? You can't just sit back and realize, "You know what? From the first moment I messed with time, things only got worse . . . Maybe I should just let things be!" I guess that would be asking too much . . .

Oh, and Nathan! You claim to have an encounter with the living God, and honestly think His message is for us to control our own destiny and save ourselves? Have you ever even . . . I don't know, paged through a Bible? Have you forgotten what Linderman sounded like? (You shouldn't have; he apparently lives in your brain now . . . long story, still not clear on the details of that one.) In case you have, let me remind you: He sounds just like everything you just said. Future Peter-- the same one who keeps messing up absolutely everything he touches-- tells Nathan he has the chance to be "the brother I always looked up to", and Nathan interprets that as a sign he should embark on the same path of probable destruction he started off on in Season One!

And Mama Petrelli, who has dreams of the future, saw none of this coming? Actually, she claims she did, which says nothing of her goodness in that she did nothing to stop it.

Dear God, please save us from the Petrelli family.

You know, it would not surprise me if it turned out Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) was a Petrelli, too; it really wouldn't. Seeing as the stupidity gene seems to run in the family, and given Suresh's latest venture, it doesn't seem too far a stretch. Suresh, seemingly forgetting that for the past two seasons he's been trying to find a cure to the super-power-virus-thingy, finds the source of Maya Herrera's (Dania Ramírez) powers and decides to find a way to create more super-powered people! Maya tells him it's evil, he should destroy it. Just when we think he's going to do just that (by pouring it into our water supply, which might not have been the best of ideas), he goes and injects himself. So now Mohinder's a super, too, with super strength, super senses, the ability to climb up walls and hang from the ceiling, a super sex-drive (yeah . . . That was kind of freaky, and I'm not sure it qualifies as a super power) . . . Oh, and scales on his back. Yummy. "Mohinder Petrelli" is sounding better and better. I think I'm starting to see where Tim Kring and the other writers behind Heroes are going with this. This whole show has been NBC's vision of the Rapture.

Think about it: Mohinder gives this long, terrifying speech at the end of the first episode of the two-episode premiere, quoting a poem by William Butler Yeats titled (you guessed it) "The Second Coming." He speaks of a beast, just at the moment he is becoming a beast of sorts (which we see toward the end of the second episode, titled "Butterfly Effect"). If you know anything about apocalyptic readings, or if you've ever sat through one of those really scary Christian Rapture films, you'll recall stories of a beast that marks people with a sign. Mohinder is planning to use what he got from Maya, the same stuff he injected into himself, to grant other normal people powers. After his miraculous recovery after his shooting, Nathan declares that he and those with special powers can be angels delivering God's message to the world; sounds a little bit like the angels who are the bearers of the Revelation, doesn't it? Not to mention that Nathan, who rose from the dead in the premiere, comes proclaiming eerie messages of peace that always (for Nathan) seems bound for destruction . . . A message somewhat similar to the familiar message we're often told the Antichrist will bring. Hm . . . What exactly is Tim Kring trying to say?

I think it might be something like: Dear God, please, please, please save us from the Petrelli family!!

Catch NBC's Heroes season three every Monday starting at 9 PM (EST). You can also watch full episodes online at NBC's Heroes page.