A Roadtrip of the Monsters of the USA

Whether you are a subscriber to those black and white tabloids that announce the arrival of little green men, boast of the world's biggest hairball, and scream of the birth of the pig-man or simply fostering a general interest in all the oddities claimed to be found on around our nation, buckle up and get ready to plot a route across the USA to each of these famed 'tourist traps'!

Our first stop takes us to Abita Springs, Louisianan where at the UCM Museum is mounted the 22 foot long Bassingator. A cross between a bass and an alligator, this sea creature has razor-sharp teeth and claimed to be a voracious predator. The sole member of this species is definitely a curious site to behold, and one questions whether there are more lurking in the depths of ponds around the nation. The legend continues that this creature hung on a boat trailer is not dead but merely in hibernation until deciding to awake and resume it's reign of terror.

On to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, where the Blog is celebrated at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville during Blobfest. Visitors pay homage to the lives lost at the site of the Blob's largest collective carnage. Apparently, the Blob came to earth aboard a meteorite that fell to Earth. Once released, this jelly-like creature ingested any and all defenseless life that crossed it's path, absorbing matter and growing in mass. It was only until some clever teenagers were able to freeze the monster with some CO2 fire extinguishers, that the horror was put to an end!

In visiting Little Miami River in Loveland, Ohio, be sure to stay safely behind locked doors at night when the Frog People come out and walk among the living. These hairless, wide-mouthed creatures walk upright and stand between three and four feet tall, weighing 75 pounds. They are reported to bound away at meetings, but other say that is only what those who have lived after such sightings have to say. Sightings have traced back to the 50's, and these frog-faced beings tend to lurk along the riverbeds.

In Southwestern Florida, we take a roadside stop at the Sunk Ape Research Headquarters just off the US 41 mark. Fabled as a relative to Bigfoot, the Skunk Ape is said to be roughly 400 pounds of hulking, hairy mass that may or may not have a taste for humans! He is over six feet tall and resides in the Everglades and noted for his horrible body odor. Obviously he hasn't heard of deodorant!

Apparently trolls infest Mount Horeb, Wisconsin, and while they are reported to eat gnomes, some question whether they may pounce on an unsuspecting person. According to legend, the trolls arrived from Scandinavia, although it is not know exactly how, and they come in two distinct forms. There are the squat large-footed 'nice' trolls who reside in the Upper Midwest, but it is also reported that on in the Seattle, WA region, there are enormous trolls capable of crushing cars and are most mischievous!

We wind out our journey in Southern New Jersey, where the most evil of all creatures is said to roam. The Jersey Devil has caused terror for the over two centuries, with it's hoofed feet, reptilian body, spanning wings, and claws. A true monstrosity at over seven feet tall, he has red glowing eyes and is said to be the unwanted child of a poor woman who then gave him over to Satan. With reports of sightings from policemen and professionals alike, it has left ripped dog carcasses in it's wake and humans could only be next!

Well, hopefully you have not sweat through your seat belt and are able to safely return to your home. Don't let your dreams be haunted by this monstrous beings, for like all good skeptics say...it's all just a bunch of hoopla anyway!

Sources:
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/creatures/