A Runaway's Perspective

Lately, I've been seeing and hearing issues concerning homeless people. I know someone who is going to portray a mini drama on the homeless. Another person I know is taking part in a ministry outreach to the homeless. I also saw this episode of "Touched by and Angel" where there were a group of homeless children.

There was a brief time in my life when I was homeless. I wasn't completely homeless because I made sure to have some kind of roof over my head.

I don't remember the exact reason why I left home. I could have been on a noble, self-discovery quest or stunt. I have always been provided for. it could have been that I saw people around me taking advantage of the luxuries they gave themselves. It could have been the smothering I felt from family. Sometimes they have a dysfunctional way of caring - it's generational, I now know. There is a lot of mental illness in my family. I think, it was a little of everything. I know there were circumstances in my life at that time that pushed me and pressured me to leave home. I believed it was the only way out. So I gathered my belongings, packed up my car and split.

Of what I can recall, I stayed about 70 miles from where I originated. I found a local Salvation Army shelter and used it as long as they would let me in. A person would have to come early, as early as letting off work, to find a decent room for the night. There were others more desperate than I to find a place to sleep.

I found a temp job from a staffing agency in the area. Actually, that was one of the best jobs I ever had. It only lasted four days, but I got promoted in those four days. I had the satisfaction of completing a full days work. It also satisfied me to obtain the job without parental supervision, help or consultation or negative feedback from anyone close to me in a familial way.

One day, I got to the Salvation Army late and I had to find an alternative place to rest. I resorted to sleeping in my car. I knew I had to find a place to park where I would not be vandalized, scoped out by police or broken into by thieves. So I found a church with a big campus that I knew was somewhere in that area. I had only been saved for a little over two years and I had discovered the church while listening to a Christian radio station.

There were nights when it got cold and I was thankful that I had brought my comforter blanket with me to cover me at night. I had some money saved up and I calculated how long it would take before it ran out. So I would buy a cookie or cracker or cake from a gift shop, convenience store or dollar store and eat it throughout the day. I would go into bathrooms and wash up the most important odor producing parts of my body and try to look as presentable as I could. I wondered if people noticed my statues from the way I looked or my habits.

Eventually, I was able to get a room at the Salvation Army shelter again. I could sleep one more day with a more suitable roof over my head. Though, even at the shelter, I would keep a watch over my shoulder, as I was weary of the other suspicious vagrants that shared a room with me. They were women and children. Men could not sleep in the same building with us. That was the law of the shelter. It was a good law for people like me and I'm sure they did not want illegal activity to have to be accounted for. Even amidst the weariness, I passed the night with some REM deposited into my system. in the morning, I would be back out looking for another job.

Going into my third week, my parents found me. Someone came to the shelter to get me. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. I wanted to be independent but I needed help. I needed a real bed to sleep in but I knew I would feel smothered or a little too cared for again. Maybe I wasn't smothered but it felt that way.

I know some people are reading that last statement, thinking, "You don't know how good you had it and you threw it away." I know it seems trivial, but there are silent signals unique to each family. I have learned that over the years. This was a family problem. I have never run away again.

If you are in a situation like mine where no one is abusing you but you still feel like you need to get out, try to find someone to talk to. a person like an extended relative in a different state, or a friend who doesn't live with you or a pastor can be of great comfort in a time like yours. Don't do what I did just to satisfy a brief moment of panic or insanity.

If you are being abused and you definitely need to get out, find a police officer, a friend that you can confide in, a shelter and/or a pastor of a local church. Maybe you need to get out NOW! But you also need a place to stay. Churches are a good place to stop along the way to point you in the right direction. So don't be afraid to ask around.

And remember, you're never alone.

Websites and Hotlines for those in need:

www.ndvh.org
www.ncadv.org
http://epic.org/privacy/dv/
www.1800runaway.org
www.salvationarmyusa.org
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battered_person_syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_abuse

National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD
www.childhelp.org/resources/learning-center/for-kids
www.abusedchild.org
www.abusedchildrennetwork.com
www.freewebs.com
http://troubleteen.info/
http://www2.lv.psu.edu/jkl1/teens/runaways.html
http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/runaways.html

http://www.officer.com/
www.findachurch.com
www.gospel.com
www.netministries.org/churches.htm
www.yp.yahoo.com

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