A Sad Christmas Story

December 4, 2004 I was live on the air hosting my weekend radio show for KGMG in Tucson, Arizona. It was during a high point in my career at the time. I was the director of entertainment for the #1 nightclub in southern Arizona and I was the host of my own radio show on the weekends. This coupled with the fact that I was finally in a relationship with a beautiful woman that I was sure was "the one". Nothing could bring my moral down. The holiday season was in full swing and I had a plane ticket ready to fly my wonderful mother to Tucson from San Diego. I had called her several times already to ease her mind due to the fact she was a bit fearful of flying but I felt one more call wouldn't hurt. During a commercial break I took a time out and called mom. She answered with great enthusiasm and was ecstatic that I called while I was on the air. Mom had a love for entertainment and a larger love for radio which is why I drew to the profession in the first place.

"I just wanted to check on you, mom. Is everything okay?" I asked, noting the time I had before I was due to talk on the air.

She replied, "I'm feeling okay." I noticed she was hiding something and I asked her to hold on while I went on the air.

"Hey now, It's Benny Blanco on KGMG Oracle Tucson. So mega you can hear me on two frequencies, 106.3 and 104.9." Upon completing my on air speech I clicked over to my mom who while on hold could hear the on air announcement. I could feel the joy of hearing her son become the man she always prayed she could bring up alone. "I don't want to keep you up but you got me a little worried. Are you sure you are okay?" I asked to which she quickly replied, "I'm fine. I just was feeling a little weird and out of breath but I'm fine."

The conversation went on in the same manner for the rest of my show. I would put her on hold, do my on air announcements and then return to talking to her when I was done. It was nice to be able to show off in front of my mentor, tutor, and teacher. My mother had given me the tool necessary to become the man I am today.

My shift was over and I asked again. "Are you sure you are okay, mom?"

"Yes!" she answered. "I am just gonna go to the restroom for a little bit and see what comes out."

Mom was always good for a bit of adult humor. The next day was Sunday and I spent the most of it watching football and resting from a long week. My mom was due to arrive in a couple of days and I wanted to make sure I went to the store and got any last minute items for her stay. I called only to find she wasn't home, so I left a message to have her call me back. No big deal since she probably needed to go to the store too. Later that evening I called again, still no answer and I left another message to let her know I was going to bed and I would call her in the morning.

The next day at the club things were hectic and in a frenzy as usual during the holiday months. I was buzzing about the office all morning and decided to skip lunch so I could take care of all I could before my mom's arrival. The phone rang. I hear the voice of the receptionist call me to the phone. Knowing I needed to get as much done as I could and that my mom would call my cell rather than my office line I asked for her to take a message to which she responded, "Benny, you have to take this call right now!" Irritated that she couldn't take the message I took the call. It was my mom's closest friend's daughter, Patrice.

"What's up Patrice?" I asked with hast in my voice.

"Your mom is dead."

Four words were all it took to bring my moral down to a crashing low. Everything stopped. I couldn't hear anything and I collapsed to the floor. All I could think was that I just talked to her not more than a day before. It made no since to me at the time and the tears flowed like rain. With all that was happening in my life that was going well, it all meant nothing now and no one could make the pain go away.

Later I discovered she died that Saturday and was found in the restroom. My conversation was the last conversation she was to have on this earth and my only comfort was that it was with me doing what I love the most and what she loved to hear me do. I had her cremated and created an alter for her in my living room where she sits to this day. Every holiday I place a card on it and wish her a Merry Christmas. I promise to never leave her alone again.