A Shocking Wake Up Call: What is it that Really Matters in Life?

Just a little over 20 years ago an event in my life changed my perspective forever! Up to this point in my life I was content to live one day at a time considering my comfort and happiness of the moment to be of utmost importance.

I was happily married to the man of my dreams and we were the parents of 2 beautiful baby boys. Like most 23 year-olds I had dreams and expectations for my life and they were centered around my husband, my children and our happiness on this earth. One morning I was shopping for new dishes and decorations for my home and by that evening I didn't care what my dishes looked like or even where home was.

In a split second my life as I knew it was over. My 25 year-old husband was instantly killed when in the driveway of our home our automobile flipped and threw him from his seat. While this month will mark 20 years since the incident I can still feel the raw pain of that night.

Stamped forever on my mind are my thoughts as I sat staring at my babies sitting on the floor in front of me as I received the message. The thoughts were a jumbled mess tumbling over one another but as I began to be able to sift through them they all had the same general theme: Why get off of this couch?! More to the point, How do I get off of this couch?!

In a sense time really did stand still. I remember that other people's lives were continuing to go on around me, but it literally felt like mine was over! Just some of the tumbling thoughts that I recall were:

Surely this is a bad dream. I'll wake up any moment.
The pain is too real. This must not be a dream.
How will I get home?
What will the babies and I do now?
I've never put gas in my car. How will I do this?
Maybe I can just lie down and die.

On and on they tumbled and on and on I sat. At some point in the evening my father arrived and we were escorted to the car where we sat while he drove us to our home. Upon arriving, I recall looking around me, desperate for some indication of what had happened. Nothing was in sight. I carried my then 20 month old son into the house with me and the realization began to sink in.

My husband was not there, but many family members and friends were! As I entered and sat silent on our couch, I looked up to see a framed picture of the two of us on our wedding day. My heart felt like it would break. My son had made his way through the house and came back into the room asking, "Mommy, where is Daddy?" It was at this point that it struck me. "Daddy is in heaven, honey," I replied. "We'll go there and see him one day."

The reality. We live our daily lives consumed with time as we know it. We are comfortable dealing with only what we can see and touch. Our minds are consumed with the temporal. Our goals, priorities and motives many times are tied up with temporal issues. How short-sighted we really are! God created us with eternal souls. The real part of the human being is the part we cannot see. Our spiritual beings fill these temporal bodies and will live eternally somewhere. This fact hit me squarely between the eyes on the night of July 27,1987 and changed my life forever. This fact also gave me new purpose and a reason to get off of the couch.

My motto became, "Get your mind out of time and into eternity!" This motto changed everything, from how I grieve, to how I parent, to what bothers me and what rolls off. If this idea penetrates our lives as it should it refocuses our goals, our priorities and our entire lifestyle. For example: when my children are misbehaving it may be frustrating for me. That however, is not what matters!

What matters is my child and his eternal destiny. My response to his childish behavior will have a huge impact on his choices concerning spiritual matters. I want my child to truly want to know my God. Therefore, my lifestyle and my reactions to my child's mistakes must exemplify a life controlled by the Holy Spirit of God. My child must know that his soul is more important to me than any of my personal belongings that he may damage by his childish behavior. This is just one of many areas that the focus of eternity will influence.

Think with me for a moment about the irritations that you faced today. After each thought pause and ask yourself: Will this matter in eternity? The aggravating traffic jam after work - NO! The rude store clerk - NO! The past due bills - NO! The whining child - NO! The red cool-aid stain on your white carpet - NO! The pushy boss - NO! The little league coach who didn't play your son enough - NO! The umpire's bad call - NO! The friend that hurt your feelings - NO! Your child's less than average report card - NO!

Add your own thoughts to the list. I believe you will be shocked as I was. Most of the things in our lives that cause us stress, frustration, aggravation and anger don't matter past the here and now. What a lot of pain we add to our own lives when we have the wrong perspective on life.

What will matter in eternity? What I have done that will last. The influence of my life on another for eternal life is what matters. Everyone that I meet; the slow driver, the store clerk, the boss, the coach, the umpire, the friends, the teachers, and especially my own children must know that I am motivated by something different. My life must point them to the Savior who offers eternal life to all who will accept His gift. My responses to them must show what matters; not time, but eternity!