A Single Red Rose and a Hug for You, Dad

Jen was eight years old when her mom and dad got a divorce. Her dad had her every weekend and for summer vacations. Her mom had primary custody. Mom and dad rotated holidays. This was very hard on Jen for a long time, she was heartbroken and confused.

One day, Jen was having a very bad day. Her dad sat her down and had an important and much needed talk with her. He explained that he knew how much she was hurting because of the divorce; and he wished things could be different but things were never going to be the same again. Mom and dad would never be together again. Even though the family couldn't live together; he wanted her to try to enjoy the times that she spend with him and her mom. Dad knew this wasn't easy for his little girl. Splitting herself between two homes was not the way a child should live her life. He wanted better for her, but, this was all he had to offer. He didn't have all the answers; he was just doing the best he could. Dad was searching for a way to help his daughter find happiness again. He needed to see his little girl smile again. Dad promised Jen that he and her mom would do everything they could to make her feel better; and he reassured her that he and her mom loved her very much.

Jen tried to understand what her dad was saying, but, she still hoped that her parents would get back together; she wanted her family back together. Jen's parents understood some of what she was going through. They knew how much she wanted them to be a family again, so they were very careful not to give her any false hopes. However, they both let Jen know how much they loved her and that they will always be there for her. Jen still haven't accepted the fact that her parents would never get back together, but, she was learning how to cope with it all.

As time passed; she was able to smile again and she didn't hurt all the time. She was beginning to find some happiness. One thing she knew for sure was that her parents loved her very much. And her parents assured her that the divorce was not her fault in any way.

Ten year old Jen loved both her mom and her dad dearly, but, she was a daddy's girl. Every Saturday, she and her dad would spend hours at the local park, playing her favorite game of basketball. Jen loved basketball and she loved playing one on one with her dad. Jen's dad was one happy man when Jen started showing interest in the game. Jen's dad enjoyed these one on one games as much as his daughter enjoyed it. They both cherished the times they spent together on week-ends and vacations. Dad was very good at basketball. He was a basketball star in junior high, high school and college. He taught his daughter everything he knew about the game. Dad was very pleased when he learned of Jen's plans to try out for the basketball team at her elementary school. He was confident that he taught her well and she was ready for it.

Jen and her dad, also, had wonderful times in the kitchen. He was quite a chef; he and Jen had lots of fun preparing meals and trying new recipes. He taught her all the right things to eat and drink and what not to eat and drink in order to maintain a healthy body. Dad made sure that Jen got enough exercise and ate healthy. He made sure that Jen stayed on top of her home work; and he encouraged her to read, read, read. His hopes was for Jen to follow in his foot steps and get a basketball scholarship for college

Jen loved red roses. For her birthdays and on special occasions; or just because; Jen's dad always gave her red roses and a big hug. When Jen worked extra hard and had a good basketball practice, her dad would reward her with a night out to dinner or a movie and her favorite red roses; always with a hug.

The change didn't come all at once; it came slowly. However, there was a big personality change in her dad. At first Jen didn't notice the change in her dad. Her mom always covered up by telling Jen that her dad wasn't feeling well. Her dad started skipping weekends to pick her up for visitation. On week-ends, when Jen was with him, he would cut basketball practice and jogging short. He always had a very good excuse; he would say that he had to work over the week-end or he had important business to take care of. But. he never stopped giving Jen red roses and a big hug. Jen loved her dad unconditional so it was not hard for her to believe his excuses. There was no doubt that her dad loved her just as much; that made it very easy Jen to trust him and believe in him.

Jen still didn't seem to notice the change in her dad's physical appearance and his manners; either she didn't notice or she just refused to see it. Her dad's behavior didn't improve; it kept getting worst; so Jen's mom had to take drastic actions.

Jen was very heart broken and devastated when her mom told her that she could no longer spend time with her dad. Jen was angry and frustrated. She didn't understand why she could not visit the dad she loved so much and the dad who loved her equally. Her mom explained that he could no longer take proper care of her or keep her safe, and for those reasons she could not see her dad until he got help and proved that he could keep her safe. Mom tried to explain to Jen that her dad was not well and that he needed help to get better. Jen didn't understand anything her mom was saying. All that mattered was she couldn't see her dad.

A sad Jen sat in the middle of her bed reading a book; when she was interrupted by loud angry voices; Jen realized it was the voices of her mom and dad. Her mom was saying, "leave this house, now, no you can't see my daughter."

Then she recognized her father's loud, slugged, angry voice. "She is my child too; I have a right to see her."

Jen slowly got down from her bed, she walked slowly down the hall way. She could see her mom at the front door; that was partly open.

"I want to see my dad", Jen was crying. Jen's dad burst through the door and held both arms out to her. Jen noticed the single red rose that he held in his hand. She didn't seem to notice that his clothes weren't as neat or that he hadn't shaved for days. She only saw the dad that she loved. Jen ran to her dad; he picked her up; gave her a big kiss on the cheek and a big hug. He handed her the red rose. Jen smiled and gave her dad a hug.

"You have to leave now," Jen's mom spoke very firmly.
"No," Cried Jen "I want him to stay. Mom, please, just for a little while, please"
"Thirty minutes," Jen's mom was very firm. She looked at her Ex. husband. "Thirty minutes."
"But, mom," Jen began.
"It's okay, baby," He dad interrupted, "Your mom said thirty minutes. We'll take it. Don't worry you'll see me again soon."
"Dad, you've got to get better soon so mom will let me see you," Jen pleaded, "I miss you, dad."
"I miss you, too, Jen," dad replied, "I'll get well soon and things will be like it used to be, I promise."

One week later, Jen stood next to her mother, beside the shiny brown box. She held a single red rose in her hand. Jen laid the red rose on top of the box along side the other flowers. A large photo of her dad was among the flowers on top of the casket. Drug overdose took her precious dad away from her on father's day.

She looked at her father's picture and said "A single red rose and a hug for you, dad," the pain showed all over her face, "It's all I could think of. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act. I don't know how to feel. I don't feel real. It hurts too bad. This is too hard for me. Dad, why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me? This is not what you promised me. You promised you would get well soon"

Jen's mom placed her hand on her little girl's shoulder. Mom picked up her daughter and held her close. For the first time since her dad died Jen cried bitter tears.

Even though this story is fictitious, drug abuse is very real. Drug addiction affects everyone. All of us know of someone who is addicted to drugs; it could be either a family member or a friend or co-worked or someone in our city that is addicted to drugs. No one plans to become addicted to drugs. No one plans to overdose and leave loved ones behind. Yet, drug abuse claims the lives of way too many people each year. Drug abuse doesn't just affect the addict; it affects everyone that he/she loves. Thousands upon thousands of Americans; young and old; male and female are addicted to drugs. Countless numbers of people die from drug abuse every year. Too many of them leave behind young children. No one can fight drug addiction alone. It's not an easy fight to win. Good news; there is help out there. However, a person will first have to realize and admit he/she need help; the second step is to get the help needed to take back your life.