A Single's Guide to Avoiding Valentine's Day Blues

Around Valentine's Day there are enough hearts, flowers and gooey sentiment to choke on. February can be a nightmare for those who are not happily paired up as the rest of the world seems to be around this romantic holiday. It was my most dreaded holiday because, always being single, it brought up a lot of bad feelings. Eventually I learned to overcome and make peace with cupid. There is no reason that you have to feel left out or let the blues overtake you. Here are some ideas you can use to take the sting out of what can be a very awkward holiday for singles.

Make plans. Find an event in your local area (concert, sports, theater) on or near February 14^th that you would like to go to and invite some friends. Nothing going on or not sure what you want to do? Create an event by planning an outing or a party yourself. Perhaps have your single friends each invite another single friend for a fun. Share the work-load and have someone bring decorations, someone cook food, etc. Whatever you're not good at, invite someone to help and you will have a great party and everyone will have fun and participate.

Celebrate your friendships. There are lots of kinds of love to celebrate, even though romance gets the focus on this holiday. Give cards, candy or small gifts to close friends and family members to appreciate them for all they do. Let your creativity flow and make something. This can save money, be a fun activity and show your thought and effort. There are lots of easy things you can make. If you are not handy or crafty, get together with a friend who is and do a project together.

Give yourself a Valentine's Day gift. If no one is going to pamper you, do it yourself. Give yourself permission to buy or do something special. Think about something that you don't usually take the time to do but really enjoy. For single parents it can be especially hard to pamper yourself, but that makes it even more important. You and a friend can trade babysitting for each other so each of you can each go away for an afternoon.

Do something kind for someone else. If you are feeling lonely or sad, one way to help is to look outside of yourself. It wards off self-pity and makes you feel good. Think of one unselfish thing you can do for someone else, either a friend or a perfect stranger. It doesn't have to be big or cost a lot of money, a simple act of kindness that affirms our connection to other human beings is all it takes. Is there a friend or family member who is depressed or sick? Go over and cook something or help clean the house. Offer to help someone with a big project they are working on, like painting a room or fixing something in the house. Do you have a special skill (computer, mechanical, crafts, music) that you can teach someone?

Laugh. A sense of humor lifts your mood and helps people cope with even the most difficult things. Koreans have created a tongue-in-cheek tradition, Black Day, for those who were "solo" on Valentine's Day. It is April 14^th and you celebrate by eating noodles with black bean sauce. When I lived there I totally embraced the fun spirit of the tradition and declared it was my new favorite holiday, vowing to introduce it to the United States and celebrate by wearing black and drinking coffee in a favorite coffee shop. Find something, anything, to help you laugh at yourself and the silly dating and courtship rituals modern culture has produced (online dating profiles, anyone?). Watch the most ridiculous romantic comedy and make fun of it, quipping with witty sarcasm back at the screen.

So stop, don't cry into your Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk while watching Bridget Jones's Diary. Before you drunk-dial all your exes, try one of these simple ideas. You can enjoy Valentine's Day, too.