A Small Glimpse of What It's like to Go Blind

I can't say that going blind is fun, or a walk in the park, but it doesn't have to be devastating either. I'm on the verge of blindness due to cataracts, and this is a curable condition, so I consider myself extremely lucky.

But there was a period of about three months when I didn't know what was causing my quickly deteriorating vision, due to a lack of insurance or extra money to take myself to the ophthalmologist, and I spent a lot of time imagining the worst.

I did a lot of agonizing about what I would do if I my vision continued to worsen, and if I really did end up blind. I did a ton of research, and a ton of thinking about various problems I might encounter. And various methods of how to overcome different situations.

Like an occupation for example. I could most likely continue writing. In fact there are a lot of things out there that can help writers with vision loss and vision problems, like voice recognition software, screen readers, and even Braille printers. This was actually a huge relief, not only that I would be able to continue using the Internet, and for writing, but the simple fact that I would be able to still READ, which is my main recreational activity. I am unable to read most printed material without the use of a magnifying glass and major headaches.

There are always books on tape, but most of those, as far as I can tell, are "popular" books, which I have no interest in. The most interesting books I find are out of print, older books discovered at the thrift store. In fact, I've gathered at least a few dozen treasures over the last couple months ( Bushcraft: A Serious Guide to Survival and Camping; The Painter'˜s Pocket Book of Methods and Materials; Tesla Coil Secrets Construction Notes and Novel Uses, etc.etc.), and they're waiting , slightly impatiently, for my cataract surgery to finally get done.

But mostly I realize the worse thing someone with a personality like mine has to deal with when going blind is simply the new lack of independence. There are issues of getting around (no driving, learning how to use a cane or guide dog). Even things you may not think of at first, but can matter nonetheless (how do you put on make up? How do you pick out clothes?)

And then there are really serious issues that need to be addressed and planned for. I have three kids. This was my biggest concern. How do I get them back and forth from the bus stop? How do you take care of three year olds when you can't see? How do you cook their dinner without burning down the house/ What if there's an emergency? Will I have to have my mother or other family members over to help me on a daily basis?

I am lucky that my vision loss is curable. But that's not the case for everyone. I am glad I had this opportunity to take a look inside myself, see what I'm made of, know what things in life are truly important, and realize the value of, and be grateful for, everything that I have.