A Soccer Mom's Perspective on Lessons Beyond the Goal

My twins are seven and playing soccer for the first time in their lives on an organized team. Watching them practice the other day, I was amazed at how many lessons on that field parallel life. Having four kids, I am a fan of organized sports and through the years we have done so many, but never soccer. Maybe I wasn't paying attention closely enough. Perhaps, I am getting more introspective as I age. But, I have officially joined the ranks of "Soccer Moms" across the nation and I finally get why it is the world's most popular sport. It offers lessons beyond the goal.

Lesson 1: "This Isn't Keep Away!"

I definitely should have had my girls watch a soccer game prior to participating, to give them the general idea. I reasoned they are quick learners, so they would get the hang of it. However, on the practice field we were on, there was no net; no established, visible goal. So, my girls were kicking and juggling away, effectively taking the ball away and passing, but never heading down the field toward the goal. It wasn't long before the coach screamed, "This isn't KEEP AWAY! Move down the field!"

I laughed because they were indeed playing as if it were "keep away," never realizing the ultimate goal was to MAKE a goal. So is life. People spend a lot of time juggling all kinds of things, but never move down the field toward a goal. In fact, when the goal isn't clearly marked, all anyone does is move (mainly in circles.) They may move back and forth, or pass the ball, but they never make forward motion in their life.

This illustrates one of life's BEST lessons: Make a goal and move toward it. Otherwise, you are just playing keep away; namely, "keeping away" from achieving victory of any kind.

Lesson 2: "Don't pass unless you have to!"

Once my girls got the drift of teamwork, they passed. Oh, the big kicks to one another must have really felt like playing! It was like a watching a good game of catch. But this isn't baseball, where the most effective approach is to move the ball with an expansive throw. In soccer, at least at a "learning" age, the best approach is to steer the ball, while it is in your control. When confronted with a situation where you may lose control, it is then that one should pass. Of course, the coach pulled my girls aside and said, "Don't just kick it in the right direction to kick it. If you have control of the ball, and no one is around you, hang on to it! You've got it, so kick it carefully down the field. Only pass when you have to pass."

Wow! This is parallel to life in so many ways! How often do we fail because we don't carefully take things toward the goal, when they are in our control? How often do we tank in life because we didn't pass the ball when in trouble?

This is the very reason diet fads make millions of dollars every year. Most Americans don't want to control the little things that are in their control minute to minute, they want the BIG KICK! An extreme example of this would be playing the lottery. Millions of Americans buy a ticket each week aiming for the "hail Mary!" Wouldn't it be wiser, to stuff that dollar away and move toward savings? How about a more practical example, letting your children watch Sesame Street because it teaches reading? I love Sesame Street and agree it teaches, but nothing would teach your child reading like you sitting with them that exact hour, teaching one-on-one. Or in our marriages, we plan the weekend getaway to "come together." But reality is, the daily activity, the little things, move us in and out of love more than a weekend ever will.

People love the idea of the "crash course," never really paying dues, or exercising simple disciplines that are totally within control. On the other hand, there are those who never pass the ball. They drown without asking for help. This is often justified in phrases like, "You want something done, you gotta do it yourself." Or,"No one will do it right, so I will just do it."

In Corporate America, this happens all the time. There is no one able to step up to cover the boss, because the boss has failed to teach someone adequately...too busy doing it all alone. But we don't have to go alone, we have a team. We have friends and family. We have co-workers and church members. We have support groups, hobby-mates and neighbors. We have community but often feel alone because we never use them.

This life lesson is two-fold and very clear: Control what you can, when you can, and pass the ball when you need help!

Lesson 3: "Keep your eye on the Ball!"

I thought this phrase was exclusive to baseball, but my daughter illustrated this beautifully (and sadly) in the first game. We were down by one and she had a break-away-from-the-pack-moment. Headed down the field to tie the game in the final seconds, with the pack at her heels, the shot was clear. She reared back to kick and not only missed the goal, but missed the ball entirely. We lost.

She took her eye off the ball. Feeling the pressure around her, her adrenaline was everywhere and with the goal in sight, she forgot the most important, simple thing...to connect. It goes without saying that this happens in life every day. We see the goal, we feel the pressure and we miss the joy of connecting with the most important thing, the task at hand.

This lesson is the easiest and the most easily lost, connecting with the joy of the moment.

Many say that life is in the journey, the climb, the ride (and so many more coined terms) more than the destination. Or as a "soccer mom" would say, it is just a soccer game. A game where the team moves toward the goal, controls things that can be controlled or pass the ball, but mostly, it is connecting with the joy at hand. It is then that everything comes together and everyone wins - the whole team.