A Soccer Poem from an Idiot
Everything I Know About Soccer in Iambic Pentameter (probably not) and Rhyme (kind of)
I kick the ball
You kick the ball too
I score a goal and you head butt me drawing blood and a yellow card
After time runs out we keep playing because soccer has some weird rules I don't understand and you score a goal too.
After the game, fans-some call them "hooligans"-start beating the crap out of one another
Some of them bleed profusely and are rushed to the hospital, but not in time to be saved and they die
Others are paralyzed and spend the rest of their lives being spoon fed and pooping in diapers
That sure seems like an awfully big price to pay for a one-one tie.
Published by Frank Mucci
A Pulitzer Prize-winning author and People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2010, Frank likes to make up crap about himself. He will be honored later this year with the Nobel Prize for Literature. View profile
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14 Comments
Post a CommentThat was so moving I had to wipe away a tear....
Succer socks. This is funny!
It is original, I like it.
Soccer sucks. I think you gotta have a lot of beer to enjoy it.
I'm with you on the iambic pentameter thing.
You, sir, are the greatest soccer poet since T. Cleveland Lane!
sounds pretty accurate!
Fun read!
You're right. You suck at poetry. But so do I. I don't understand soccer, either, and don't care about it. Great minds and all that.
It was fun to watch the mighty England team accept a tie with the lowly US team! Their goalkeeper will go down in infamy! The game was kind of enjoyable if you drank enough beer while watching. Your descriptive piece on soccer is pretty close.