A Stalk of Rose from Johnny Tillotson

I grew up in an era of black vinyl singles. That was a time when Elvis Presley , Ricky Nelson, Fabian and Johnny Tillotson made every girl's heart throbbing. Elvis Presley had a rebellious wild image; he was quite unacceptable for the Asians. So he was known as the Cat King (In Asia, to the Chinese in particular). Elvis was definitely not approved by the parents of my generation. The young Johnny Tillotson was different. He had a good-boy' image. He even had more fans in Asia than in USA.

Our parents at that time were about forty to sixty years old. I suppose Elvis was too hot, too sexy, too loud, shook his body too much that Asian parents thought he would be a bad idol and set a bad example for their innocent teenage children. So Elvis was banned from my house.

Ricky Nelson was too handsome for anyone to be able to focus on his songs seriously (that was what I thought). Fabian disappeared from the Asian Radio after a short while. And so it was Johnny Tillotson all the time through my secondary school as well as my university days.

Dreamy Eyes opened the whole new dreamy, teenage world to me. Previous to that I was just a simple, ignorant little girl. Through Tillotson's sweet soothing harmonious voice, I emerged as a 'so alone and blue' teenage girl. I learned to make my eyes as dreamy as Tillotson's girl to attract attention from a certain boy that I fancied.

The Dreamy Eyes period was followed by a Why Do I Love You So time. I created the doubts and the anxiety necessary to match the mood and atmosphere of the lyrics. Of course, that down-to-earth boyfriend of mine could not follow my queer and emotional behavior, so I had to make believe that Tillotson's 'Oh my darlin', why do I love you so?' came out from his mouth.

So Johnny Tillotson had one pop song after another, and I had my share of fun and growing up year after year. Send Me The Pillow You Dream On, You Can Never Stop Me Loving You, Without You and many many more sweet ballads all helped to build up the romanticism in me. It was with Angel in my ears when I really fell in love. And my head was full of Talk Back Trembling Lips, my eyes 'burnt' and my heart really 'broke in two' when I had my first quarrel with my husband.

And that was the background of my story.

The story really started when one morning, my straight-faced husband suddenly asked me, "Do you want to watch a Johnny Tillotson concert? He will sing at the Sheraton Hotel this weekend." I was dumbfounded. I couldn't speak for a while. So he knew, after so many years he finally knew that Johnny Tillotson was my heartthrob. Well Johnny Tillotson had sung in Malaysia a few times. However he was never so near to our place. Would I want to go, of course I wouldn't give up such a golden opportunity to live through my dreamy years again.

Finally, the day came. I was counting the hours and minutes for this important event the whole day. I was fifty-five and behaving like a teenage fan yearning to see her favorite singer. Then I found myself finally in the hotel wearing my favorite velvet gown, sitting at a table facing the centre of the stage.

After a long tortuous while, the real Johnny Tillotson appeared, crooning in his familiar soothing harmonious voice. With his silvery hair, he looked different from the record-covers of years ago; but his broad smile was there. Though his face was marked with lines and wrinkles, he remained as charming as ever. With his many hits including my favorites like Dreamy Eyes, Without You, Poetry In Motion, I was swooning and living through my silly, romantic youth one more time.

Then he sang Blue Velvet with a stalk of rose in his hand, and he walked towards me slowly. The sublime moment came when he held my hand and gave me that rose. I was sure I really fainted for a while. The music continued, but he stopped to sing and mumbled something, I couldn't hear properly, but I thought and would like to believe that he said, "To a sweet lady".

Was I dreaming? I swear I was almost dead at that moment! I am sorry, my husband, but at that moment, I had really totally forgotten your existence.
Time passed too quickly, soon the show was over. I recovered from the daze and the love-sick episode. I continued to hold the not very interesting teacher-housewife stigma.

The difference is that, now on my table, I have a single stalk of dry rose, the one souvenir that reminds me not only of Johnny Tillotson, but more importantly, those by gone dreamy, youthful years.

It is with the back up of those years, I am what I am today, and I will have the courage to face tomorrow bravely.

PS Johnny Tillotson is coming to Malaysia again this Sunday ( 27 July, 2008) to perform in aid of the Natural Disaster Association of Kedah, Malaysia.