A Step-by-Step Guide to Holiday Traveling with Teens

When I was growing up, we took quite a few trips. Not necessarily family vacations, but quite a few trips. With all of our relatives living north of us, in Canada, we usually trekked up into the Great White North at least once a year. I hated it. Oh, there were a lot of fun aspects to it and I enjoyed the time with my mother, but I always felt like I was being pulled away from my life. I'd have much rather stayed at home.

Before you plan a family vacation, moms and dads, please realize there's a good chance your teenage son or daughter really isn't going to be as excited about it as you are. Do you remember what it was like, back when your parents took you on a family vacation? While it was fun as a small child, it became more bothersome as you got older. As a teenager, you have friends to hang out with, boyfriends and girlfriends that you're being separated from, stores to shop and, come on - those video games won't play themselves!

Planning a Vacation or Holiday Travel

The first step in getting a teenager excited about travel plans is to give them the opportunity to get involved. As a teenager, it's not uncommon to feel like you're being swept up in a whirlwind that you have little control over and few things are worse than having some adult come around and tell you "how it's gonna be." Instead of telling your teen that you're going on a trip or vacation, ask them for a few minutes of their time and discuss it with them.

Once you have your teenager's attention, talk to them about your idea to take a family trip, but stress to them that you'd like to have them involved in some of the planning. Let them know that you want to make sure it's fun for them too, but avoid burdening your teen with work-phrases like, "I need you on board for this," "meet me halfway," or "work with me." These kinds of statements sets your teenager up for a miserable time and they will begin to balk before you even start packing.

One of the big things you want to avoid doing is over-planning. If you remember "National Lampoon's Vacation," you'll understand what I mean. Clark Griswald (played by Chevy Chase) was a classic over-planner (and then some). You don't need to sit down and write out a detailed itinerary that plans out every minute of your holiday trip. As you're planning your family vacation, try and keep things relaxed and easy - the ultimate goal in a holiday vacation is to have fun, right?

What to Pack When Traveling with Teens

Okay... packing with teens. The first thing that you do NOT want to do is go sauntering into their bedroom and start rifling through their drawers, looking for underwear and socks. Teenagers' bedrooms are dangerous places; within, you may find sandwiches that date back to the dawn of man, socks that have never known a washing and, bottom line, you're going to annoy Mr. or Ms. Independent.

Instead of packing for your teen, try giving them a list of what they will need. X pair of underwear, this many "good" outfits, this number of casual outfits. Have them lay them out on the bed or, if your teen is especially touchy about their independence, simply say that you want to wash everything ahead of time. This can give you the opportunity to double-check the essentials, but be careful not to nit-pick over details. Even if you don't like those ratty jeans, your teen does - compromise and let them bring them along as casual clothes. They're comfortable and can be worn while traveling, so long as they have something nice to put on when you reach your destination.

Also note that, whether you like it or not, your teen is going to bring things like hand-held video games, books and mp3 players with them. Don't despair - they all do it. The best advice is realize that this will make the trip fun for them and don't nag about it. If you're worried about the number of things they're bringing, give them a backpack or a carry on-sized bag and tell them they're limited to what will fit in there - and that they're responsible for the bag.

Sightseeing with Your Teenager

Whenever I went on a trip with my mother, she would point out all the beautiful sights along the way. "Oh, look at the mountain! Ooh, look at the view from way up here! Do you see all those trees?" Of course, as a teenager, I was thinking, "Great, a tree. Awesome. Can I go back to my book now?" Traveling, for me, was either a good time to read a book, sleep or listen to music. Like many teens, I didn't appreciate much about sight-seeing until I grew older, something which my mother never understood.

It's important to realize that, when traveling, what you think is noteworthy isn't always for your child. It's great to point it out and share information with your teenager but, honestly, if they don't seem all that into it, they probably aren't. And you really can't force it on them or they'll resent it. Remember that, as much as you might want them to get excited by looking at the cows over yonder, they aren't there to entertain you any more than you are there to entertain them. Instead, point out the cows and, if they're into it, continue on. If not, don't let it get to you - They've seen it and are appropriately impressed by it. They just won't realize it for a while.

Control of the Radio Station

One of my favorite ploys for getting teenagers involved in holiday travel is to incorporate things that interest teens. Music, for instance. Don't be afraid to let your teenager choose the music for a while in the car. My mother used to swap on and off with me, between my '80s music and her country. The only rule was that, if we got into an area of heavy traffic, bad weather or we were entering "the city" (any large, busy city), the music had to go off.

Swapping music stations worked well, aside from my mother making negative comments about how everything sounded the same or why they had to ruin good songs with that constant 'bang bang bang' of drums. This is another thing you have to avoid doing, as it puts your teenager on the defense. Even if you don't like their music choices, you can tolerate it for a little bit (and keep negative comments to yourself).

There's also a little trick to this, in that your teenager is less likely to read or focus solely on a game if there is music that they enjoy. In fact, they might very well be talked into sightseeing for a bit, though I make no promises. I have a teenager that carries books into the grocery store with him and reads as he walks - I can't work miracles.

Pit-stops and Teenagers

For us, pit-stops are places to get out of the car and stretch our legs, go use the rest area, or feed the huddled masses that have been sharing the trip with us. For teenagers though, pit stops are opportunities to experience new things and collect data that can later be spun into fanciful and exciting adventures when they get back home. Some of my best memories were stopping at places like backwater truck stops (I loved the gift shops) and strange tourist traps. Sure, as a parent, you know what kind of places those are and how hokey they can be - but it's something your teen probably hasn't seen before and it's great fun to go to your friends, later, and tell about the really creepy shop you went into. Dude, they sold stuffed rattlesnakes and alligator heads!

Also don't be afraid to involve your teenager in the decision-making process. Will it really hurt you to let them choose what restaurant to eat at? If you're worried about a budget, just tell them what kind of limits they need to adhere to and then let them have fun. Making small sacrifices like that can go a long way in helping to make the trip enjoyable for both you and your teenager.

Booking a Hotel with Your Teenager in Mind

You don't have to choose the most expensive hotel for you and your family to have a good time, but there are a couple of things that may help to make it more interesting for your teenager. Pools, of course, are always a novelty - even more so if you don't have access to a home pool, or if you live in a place where it's too cold to swim during the holiday season. Being able to talk about swimming during Thanksgiving or Christmas vacation definitely scores some bragging rights, even more so if you can come back with a tan.

Movies are another alternative that can help make a teen's stay more enjoyable in a hotel. Watch something that you might not normally watch at home, like a horror flick or a comedy. Better yet, let your teenager pick (supervised, of course - no need to let them run amok with access to adult channels). Oh, and parents? Don't use the whole testing-the-bed/firm-mattress ploy to choose the bed by the television. They're on to you. If you really have your heart set on the bed closest to the TV, make it fun and flip for it or something. Keep it lighthearted.

Traveling with teenagers doesn't have to be frustrating or difficult. Just remember to treat them with the same courtesy as you would any other person out there. Don't embarrass them or put them on the spot and try to keep in mind what it was like, for you, when you were a teenager. You'll find that things make much more sense then.

Sources:

Personal experience as a mother of a teenager daughter and son