A Strange War

How many couples argue about who does the dishes? Now, how many couples argue about that because their significant other did the dishes without them? Probably not many.

Just recently, I was making myself some dinner and I decided to wash the dishes that were piling up in the sink while my husband played some video games. I knew it would be a race to see whether I could get them done before he would figure out what those splashing noises in the kitchen were. Of course, about half way through, I hear, "Are you doing the dishes?" to which I reply, "That's definitely possible." He then angrily stomps over, commandeers the drying towel and starts to help.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy his help immensely. Working with him is much better than doing them on my own, so why do I fight so hard to keep him out of it?

This type of mini-fight was going on even when we began dating. He would try to play the gentleman and open the car door for me while I would sprint to the car trying to open my own door. I've won that battle, but now that we're newlyweds, this focus on helping the other out even if they don't want it has shifted to a new battlefield.

Why do we do this? Perhaps it's because we have never had a serious fight. Neither of us particularly enjoy fighting or shouting, which probably puts us off from doing it with each other. The energies normally reserved in a person for this kind of serious fighting may be instead directed towards our more playful and constructive fighting. Our biggest fights have been over the issue of feral cats eating wild birds and the definition of art, and neither of these are normal argument subjects to get riled up about. Perhaps we're just loony and this is another way for our craziness to manifest.

Either way, I enjoy fighting over the dishes much more than arguing over money, family, or anything else that can end hurtfully. Perhaps we are just storing it all up for one gigantic fight, but perhaps using that energy this way will make sure that fight never happens. I recommend trying this out sometime. In any case, you might just get your spouse to do those dishes.