A Study of Online Dating

Turn-ons: body piercings, tattoos, purple hair, lipstick, danger. Turn-offs: beards, glasses, morons. Heard this before? Though it may sound like the rundown of a Playboy Bunny, it is also an important section of every Match.com profile. And those who watch network TV at least semi-regularly have probably seen their numerous ads popping onto the screen recently.

In this bustling age of technology, many of us who are working, going to school, and possibly even raising children may have less and less time to meet a special someone. A few years ago, the prospect of online dating seemed like a perfect opportunity to meet creeps and convicts; currently, it's at the forefront.

Not sure where to start? A bit of firsthand (and secondhand) research may help you sort through some of the major differences and make an educated decision.

Match.com

One of the first major dating sites to hit mainstream popularity, Match.com has grown in recent years. It may now be more recognizable due to the above mentioned ads. (Of note, perhaps, are the banner ads on Myspace, which simulate girls or guys looking at the potential member via webcam.)

Know the basic format? Most members have a catchy (or in some cases not-so-catchy) screen name, such as "miamimeringue" or "bluehaze90." And yes, those are fictional. Like just about all dating sites, members choose a photo to represent themselves. Match.com recommends a headshot, preferably one where you're smiling. For more details, check this link: Match.com: Upload Photos

A primary part of each profile is the "In My Own Words" section, in which members detail such essentials as their education, job, religion, ethnicity, and favorites (food, book, music, etc.) There's a lot of room for creativity here, so you can sift through the various sections and see what strikes your fancy.

Also key to some may be the "Best Feature" section; this can run the gamut from "eyes" to "butt," or even "feet." Interestingly, many members list "eyes," though an in-person meeting may determine which feature your date thinks is best. And, on the right side of each profile, you may notice a list of "MatchWords" that can speak volumes about someone. Words you may find: coffee, sunny, beach, caribou, and cowtipper.

Chemistry.com

A sister site of Match.com, Chemistry.com uses a slightly different matchmaking strategy in pairing up members. Like Match, the site has you complete a brief profile and questionnaire (designed similarly to a psychological test, but don't sweat it.)

When a member is interested in you, you'll receive an e-mail notification. If the feeling is mutual, you'll go through another brief getting-to-know-you process...this can actually be fun, if you're into it.

For example, the site may have you ask a question such as: "Someone is making a movie about your life; what songs would be on the soundtrack?" In turn, your potential date can send you back a similar question. Like what you see? In the next step, you and your match can e-mail one another...and finally, Chemistry will give you a brief nudge towards your first date (or First Meeting, as they call it.) They will even go so far as to recommend a location near the both of you, in case you can't make up your mind.

You may have seen Chemistry's "Rejected by eHarmony" ads on TV and/or the Web; while they're a bit of an exaggeration, they're not entirely untrue. Watch one here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgxOhG2nDOA

Oh, and as referenced by the above ad, Chemistry will match same-sex couples.

eHarmony.com

Also heavily advertised, eHarmony.com purports to match up couples using its Compatibility Matching System, which "narrows the field from millions of candidates to a highly select group of singles with whom you share deep levels of compatibility," according to their front page.

While some members have met an attuned partner this way, many who have tried the site express dissatisfaction with its method. A number of posters on Rankdates.com gave it horrible reviews (though a few say they were incredibly pleased.) One anonymous reviewer said, "I did not have a positive experience...my own belief system includes not marrying a divorced individual. But E-harmony [sic] kept sending me all divorced individuals...they indicated they could not filter out divorced men and that I would just have to tell each man myself."

Still, according to its homepage, the site has had "success stories," and they refer to themselves as "The #1 Trusted Relationship Site." Though it isn't stated explicitly, eHarmony is geared towards those looking for marriage (with children.) It also seems to cater to Christian singles, due to its being co-founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist with ties to the evangelical Christian community, according to a 2005 article in USA Today.

Really, signing up or not depends on your preference; if the site still interests you, give it a shot.

True.com

Their motto? "Live. Love. Learn." According to the site, they are endorsed by Psychology Today; you may have seen their ads on Facebook, Myspace, or other social networking sites.

One unique feature of True is its "Sexploration Test," a questionnaire not unlike those of Chemistry and Match that tries to determine your sexual compatibility with other members. For those who find passionate sex among their Top 5 successful relationship traits, this can be a good starting point (of course, like any of the other "tests," the real truth comes out in the experience, not the profile.)

One former member, writing on eDatereview, says, "I signed up for the free trial of True.com, and noticed something just wasn't 'right'...I created 2 user accounts. One male and one female using random photos around the net. I didn't use any models; just normal everyday pics...the second day, the female began to get a ton of responses, mainly from guys I'd be afraid to live in the same town as. The male got a few responses, but mainly from what I'd guess to be fake/bot profiles. Maybe one or two were real, but [I] highly doubt it."

Unfortunately, True.com isn't the only site to have such issues; some members of Match.com and Yahoo! Personals have reported scam profiles not unlike money laundering schemes. Among them are the "Nigerian Scam" group, in which a supposed member of the site claims to be coming into the United States from a foreign country (not necessarily African), and requires a large sum of money in order to be granted passage.

While not every member has experienced such fraud, these crimes are becoming more commonplace, so one would do well to be skeptical. For more information, visit Snopes.com: Nigerian or 419 Scam.

Which One Now?

Some of the basics are laid out here, but again, it's really a matter of personal taste. If you're willing to overlook some of the disadvantages, try any of the above sites.

Personally, the author recommends Match or Chemistry over the others. Of course, if you happen to have had a different experience, feel free to share it here.

Good luck finding your mate!