A Surfing Poem from the Same Idiot Who Wrote the Soccer Poem
Surfing by the Numbers
As we've already established, I'm not much of a poet. But I'm thinking the more I write poetry, the less I'll suck, so I'll give it a go-etry. See how I did that? Poetry rhymes with go-etry. You can see the improvement already, can't you?
My surfing experience amounts to little more than knowing some of the words to "Surfin' USA" by the Beach Boys. Plus I fell off a skateboard once causing a severe injury to my testicular area (that's balls for you laypeople), which pretty much ended my skateboarding career after roughly 30 seconds. Hey, I'm not as stupid as I look! I do, however, know a lot about attracting hot chicks, because, well, I'm just so damn charming.
So drawing on my ability to bag bikini-clad babes and combining it with the Beach Boys and my 30-second skateboarding career, I give you perhaps my finest work to date. After reading this poem, you ladies will finally understand why my wife puts up with me.
Surfing by the Numbers
I get all the hot chicks
And it feels like heaven
Surfers may hang ten
But I'm hangin' eleven!
Published by Frank Mucci
A Pulitzer Prize-winning author and People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2010, Frank likes to make up crap about himself. He will be honored later this year with the Nobel Prize for Literature. View profile
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17 Comments
Post a CommentHa, not bad! I just submitted my surfing poem too.
You're closing in on Tiger.
Surfing on the water is for people who don't want to fall down on concrete like skateboarders do! Pussies!
I just came back to this page because I couldn't believe you actually wrote a poem saying you "get all the hot chicks". That is so absurd. Who do you think you are? Tiger Woods? :-)
*guffaw* Okay, I still don't understand why your wife puts up with you. ;)
No wonder you are the pulitzer man, do what you don't know, and yes you can
I've actually seen that when men wore real bathing suits that didn't come down to their knees. My love of basketball, has dropped considerably since the new long shorts as well.
BWAH!
Funny read!
The comments here are as funny as the poem (except for mine, mine's stupid and boring. Maybe I'd have better luck writing poetry.)