A Tale of a Stay at Home Dad: My Great Learning Experience

Yes, a stay at home father here. Speaking to you on behalf of myself. I know of no other stay-at-home dads, although I do hear they exist. Sometimes I wonder about it, do I do it for fun? Is it my station in life as God(s) have decreed? Or perhaps am I living the results of my life? Lets talk a short walk, and find out what leads to this. Shall we?

Working in labor intensive jobs was always easy for me. I started out working for my parents, as most kids do. Mowing the yard, cleaning the house, taking care of my little brother and sister. My father was a rough-neck, has been for at least nineteen of my twenty-two years. My mother worked here and there, odd jobs, cleaning other peoples houses and the like, yet was mainly a stay-at-home mom. Pretty soon, I became much too old to spank or ground, as I would laugh at my parents attempts to beat my behind with a belt, and grounding only resulted in me sneaking out, and doing as I wished anyways. A bad seed, I know, but I had fun none-the-less. So my punishment soon shifted to mowing. My father would call, to have me woken up, or wake me up himself if he was home, at all hours of the night and morning. Then I would be sent outside with a gas-can, the lawn mower, and told that I would be mowing the yard. Resistance only led to more mowing. At least eight-hours, of mowing this lawn. Two-acres of yard takes a long enough time to mow with a rather heavy push-mower. But to do it all day? Yes, that was my punishment, and it worked quite well. I learned very, very quickly to better hide the things I'd be getting in trouble for. As I grew, I seemed to gravitate to jobs that required just as much, if not more, labor. Shoveling asphalt. Cutting, moving and stacking boxes in warehouses. Stocking shelves overnights at Wal-Mart. Even more mowing. But all of these jobs lead me no-where. I always found myself unemployed.

My wife offered the strangest solution I had ever heard. " Why don't you try being a stay at home dad." She says to me. Hunh... I thought. Easy as pie, just keep the kids alive and clean, and pick up the house. Fix a bit of supper, and boom, the days over, and no real grinding work to do. Little did I know...

Apparently, in any given day, over one-million things can happen, go wrong, get dirty, or explode. I had heard her complain about it being a twenty-four hour a day job. Without days off. I'd had, up to this point, realized she worked hard, but never thought she worked as hard as me. My surprise and shock, was nearly overwhelming. On a good day, cleaning the house twice, cooking diner, bathing, feeding and changing, the kids, and dogs, and doing a pile of dishes, is a light duty day. At any given time, something needs done, and the job is endless. A 1300ft 3 bedroom house, has suddenly become larger than the 30,000sq. Ft. Warehouses I've worked in, and I don't care who you are, changing diapers is disgusting.

Perhaps I'll never honestly know how my wife accomplished everything that needed done, all before I got home every evening, but she did. I'm still learning to be an effective stay at home dad, and knowing how disconnected from my kids I previously was.

Not counting the facts that I never graduated high-school, and the only education I got was ineffective because of the job market where I live, I do not doubt that this station I've taken up, is because I've been lazy with my life. It has its' moments, but I envy those who do it by choice. Stay-at-home mom's of the world, this stay at home dad, says thank you, for all the men who don't give you enough credit.