A Test-Tube Daughter Searches for Her Frozen Pop

Growing up without a father is never easy. Growing up not knowing who your father is makes it that much more difficult. For as long as I could remember, my mother told me tales of how my dad was a graduate student from Yale who was working his way towards a brilliant career as a lawyer. She would tell me he was 6" 2' tall, had blonde hair and green eyes. She swore I had those same green eyes. "Just like your father" she would always say. Well, of course she would say this since mom had brown eyes and the information she recited to me year in and year out was the only knowledge she ever had of my biological dad. You see, mom was artificially inseminated. Yep! I was a test tube baby!

Growing up, I didn't have a clue as to what that meant exactly so all I really knew was that my physical features must have come from dear old frozen Pop. In junior high, I argued constantly with everyone, not in a mean way, but always arguing my point whether right or wrong. Mom would say that meant that I, too, would become a brilliant law student like my dad.

In high school, I knew I wanted to go to college and then law school directly afterwards. I excelled on the debate team, bringing home first place medals more often than not. I prided myself on being just like my father. As time marched on towards graduation, I knew I wanted to meet my dad somehow, someday. I even asked my mother where I was conceived so I could visit that clinic and find out the name of the man who contributed to my being here. Mom wouldn't say. For some reason, she just didn't ever get around to telling me no matter how many times I asked. The summer before I began law school, Mom passed away from a fast moving small cell cancer. The loss of my only parent, my only family really, left me feeling alone and cast adrift in the world. I had no anchor. There was no one to call to share all my accomplishments or even just to say "I love you". My first year in law school was the biggest struggle of my life. I almost gave up, and then I met Troy.

Troy and I started out as study partners but eventually, we realized there was a deep attraction to each other. I shared my life story with him and he, in turn, shared all his growing pains with me. We became intimate in a way that I never knew two people could be. Troy was tall, athletic, blonde-haired and brown-eyed. I don't know if I could have made it to the second term without him.

Things got serious and he popped the question. I said yes! Our plan was to finish law school first, then marry. He called to tell his parents the news and it was during that time that I began to feel the loneliness creep back into my heart. I had no one to tell besides friends. Mom didn't have any brothers or sisters and her parents had died many long years ago. It was then that I started thinking about the man who was my biological father. I knew that I wanted to find him if only to just say "hello, I'm your daughter". It never entered my mind that he might not want to know me.

I shared my thoughts with Troy and like the wonderful guy he is, said he would help me however he could to find my father. That's my rock! No wonder I love him so!

I decided that hiring a professional private investigator would be the smartest thing to do but wasn't sure if I could afford the luxury. Troy offered to help, of course. He made me promise that I would let the P.I. do what he needed to do and that I would not let it consume me.

"We have wedding plans to make!' he said. "And you still have to meet my parents. I just know they're going to love you as much as I do!"

As always, he made me smile and I felt that nothing bad could ever happen to me with Troy by my side. So plans were made. The meeting with the P.I. went on schedule and information was given along with a copy of my birth certificate and everything that I knew about my father that my mother had told me. The P.I.'s name was Henry Weston. He was not one for many words but the ones he did speak seemed to come from a great deal of thought. I knew he would think first before acting and I liked that about him.

"It might take some time. We're talking months to maybe even a year." he said. "Fertility clinics and sperm banks don't like to volunteer information. Donations are always given on a strict basis of confidentiality".

I said I understood. He gave me that look that parents give their kids that says "Yea, but do you really?"

"You have to be prepared that we may never get an answer or maybe he, whoever he may be, won't want anything to with you. Can you handle that??

Again, I said yes, nodding my head and trying to look as if I truly could handle that if it came to pass.

We shook hands and Mr. Weston promised to call me when he dug up some information for me. Meanwhile, Troy and I had made plans to visit his parents in two months so they could meet their future daughter-in-law. I felt as if my world were becoming complete. I felt happy and optimistic. I wish that feeling could have lasted longer that it did!

Two months passed by pretty fast. Troy and I packed our bags for the trip up north to Vermont to meet his parents. I was nervous as all heck! These people were to be my in-laws. I hoped with all my heart that they would like me. I hoped even harder that I would like them. As I dragged my last bag out to the front door, I heard Troy laughing at me.

"Think you packed enough? Geez, it's only one weekend. I only packed my duffel bag for heaven's sake"!

"Shut up!" I said, laughing back at him. "I have to make a good impression Troy! These are your parents, after all".

"Don't forget to change the message on the answering machine" he reminded me.

I threw a couch pillow at him which he ducked before grabbing my bags and hauling them out to the car.

I turned to the counter and pushed the message record button on out answering machine. It said "Please record after the tone..."

"Hey, this is Becca and Troy and we're not home. We'll be back Sunday but you can call my cell at 555-2150 if you really, really need to reach us before then". BEEP..

With that said and done, I picked up my purse and keys and headed out the door. In the car, Troy tossed a case of CD's at me and instructed me to be in charge of the road music. We were both smiling as we headed off down the road, humming a Garth Brooks tune.

The trip to Vermont took almost a whole day. By the time we reached Troy's parent's home, twilight had fallen. The driveway up to the main house was a long, winding gravel road. The family name of "Reilly" adorned a plaque on the fence line. I was just happy to be getting out the car soon.

Troy's parents', Ted and Liv Reilly, came out the front door of their two story Victorian with wide smiles. They were a good looking couple in their late fifties. Liv had graying blonde hair and brown eyes like her son. Ted had lost most of his hair so the color was indistinguishable but his green eyes crinkled at the corners from years of smiling. His gray mustache twittered when he spoke.

"About time you two got here!" he said as he wrapped his son in a big bear hug. Liv and I embraced and said our hellos.

Troy hugged his mom before taking my hand and pulling me to his side. "Mom, Dad, this is Becca, my future wife".

Mr. Reilly engulfed me with his arms, smothering me in a welcoming hug. I like him immediately, and I liked Liv too. Right away, they called me "daughter" and my heart soared with the realization that I had been welcomed into the fold.

We spent the next two days laughing, getting to know, and making lists for the wedding. Liv was in her element and just seemed to fall right into the role of a mom for me. She asked if it was alright for her to assume the role my own mother would have taken had she lived.

"I would really like that" I said. She had tears in her eyes that were reflected in the puddles that had become my own eyes. The warm feeling made me sniffle and cling to Troy. It had been a long time since I felt the love of a mother. Troy's dad called us both softies but patted both Liv and I on the back anyway.

I couldn't have asked for a better weekend or a better outcome in meeting my future in-laws. I was ecstatic. The best was yet to come, I just knew it! I slept like a baby that last night there.

On Sunday, we said our goodbyes with promises to return soon to continue the plans for the wedding. Liv and I cried in each others arms and Mr. Reilly, who insisted I call him dad, kissed me on the cheek and patted my shoulder.

Father and son shook hands and we were off down the road heading back home and to school. The drive home seemed shorter than the ride up. All the way home, me and Troy talked, laughed, sang along with the radio, and counted our blessings that we had found each other.

When we got home, we unloaded the car and dragged our dirty laundry inside. We began to unpack and then headed to the kitchen when we were through and had started a load of laundry.

As I passed the answering machine, I saw that the message light was blinking. Troy was in the kitchen, pulling out some lunchmeat and bread for sandwiches. I pushed play and waited.

"Miss Landon, this is Henry Weston calling. I received some information back from a fertility clinic in New Hampshire. They had your mother's name listed and the timing was nine months before your birth. Give me a call on Monday. Listen, I'll have all the details for you but if you get this before Monday, the least I can do is give you the name of the law student listed as the sperm donor. The name in the records as the biological father is.....Reilly, Theodore Reilly....."