A Tutor's Guide to Understanding and Enjoying Math

Algebra wasn't the greatest experience, first time around, for one child. I'm not really sure why, but I believe it's a combination of factors; moving from middle school to high school, increased homework and having to wake up earlier in the morning was like the perfect storm when it came to math class. My son just didn't "get it," and as the semester went on, things went from bad to worse. He was starting to avoid anything having to do with math, let alone homework.

I made some mistakes, too, being too proud to see that we both needed help.

Luckily, I came to my senses but not before my son's attitude took a turn for the worse. He started to feel like he might never succeed at math. That was my wake-up call!

I reached out to other parents. I also networked with teachers, school counselors and even called tutoring centers for more information. Finally, a teacher passed along the name of a woman who'd been a math major in college and now tutored students from her home. The teacher recommended her highly and I liked the idea of individual sessions in a location near our house.

From the moment we entered the tutor's door, I felt hopeful. Not only did she have an air of relaxed confidence but her home was warm and inviting. I was told I could stay or leave during the math tutoring sessions. I chose to stay. I'm glad I did because I learned quite a bit myself!

Here's how she inspired me - and my son - to get over our fear of math (sometimes called "math phobia") :

1. The math tutor took things slowly and explained each math step clearly

Rather than focusing on completing math homework assignments in giant gulps, she broke each part of the algebra assignments into steps. If a problem was focused on finding a variable such as X, she'd teach my son how to slowly find the solution to each problem. She'd teach him to isolate the variable, solve the equation and check his work. Each step was important.

Lesson learned: Math can be easier to learn when broken into tiny steps.

2. My son's tutor focused on basic math concepts and definitions

Some words kept coming up time and again, words like variables, equations and formulas. While it should have seemed obvious, I'd never really made sure my son understood the meaning of those basic mathematical terms. The tutor did. As my son learned the concepts, so did I. The explanations were not only clear but repeated time and again. He couldn't help but learn them. So did I.

Lesson learned: Understand the meaning of the basic math terms.

3. She had plenty of math puzzles and books of math problems on the coffee tables and bookshelves.

When I felt like reading something, a math book was usually close at hand. By reading those, I discovered that there were many different ways to do basic math problems like adding and multiplying columns of numbers. I also learned some tricks and tips that have simplified math calculations, gaining confidence along the way. My son also enjoyed browsing through some of these, especially after I ordered some personal copies to read at home.

Lesson learned: There can be more than one right way to solve problems. Math games and puzzles can make learning fun.

4. The tutor made things fun by giving "dog breaks" - and I mean that literally.

My son loves dogs and she had two of them. Because my husband has allergies, we can't have a dog. Every 15 minutes or so, usually after my son solved a challenging problem, she'd give him a dog break. He'd get to romp with the dogs, toss their toys for them to retrieve and just relax. This took away a lot of tension and stress. I was reminded that frequent breaks and a relaxed attitude can make a huge difference during homework sessions.

Lesson learned: With a little creative thinking, fun can be incorporated into homework and math sessions.

5. She took the fear out of story problems, an area that can be particularly hard for some math students.

Both my son and I found story problems to be grueling ordeals, vague and hard to understand. Going over them was like reading something written in a different language, murky and hard to translate. The situations also didn't seem to relate all that well to real life examples. The tutor simplified the problems and made them understandable. She also asked my son about his shopping habits and came up with math problems that he might actually face while shopping.

Lesson learned: Find real life situations that use the math formulas

6. She asked the right questions and had my son read and explain the directions to her.

This one step made a huge difference. By reading the problems aloud, my son was forced to slow down and think about each step of the problem. If he started to make mistakes, she didn't immediately correct him but would let him learn from those mistakes. When he started to understand concepts, she'd ask questions that got him to think through the math concepts and problems.

Lesson learned: Reading problems out loud and help with comprehension. Asking the right questions can be as important - or more important- than lecturing or explaining math concepts.

7. Except for the dog breaks, distractions were few.

My son was being taught one on one. Also, because I was in the room I could observe - and hear - exactly how the lessons were taught. I could tell my son was doing much of the work himself, after some gentle encouragement from the tutor. She explained things only as needed.

Lesson learned: Minimize noise and distractions during homework, except for scheduled breaks.

How well did all this work out? This semester my son has A's and B's in math, including tests. This is a significant improvement over last semester. As he and I remind each other, we still have the same brains we always did. But now we know how to use them effectively when it comes to math. I'm grateful that the right tutor came along at the right moment, changing our attitudes and helping us both get rid of our math phobias.