A Two-Year-Old's Mind: How Much Do They Actually Understand?

How much does a two-year old actually understand? Not much, I once thought. They are just beginning to connect words into sentences. They spend most of their time just repeating the words that we say. Aren't they just mimicking our behavior? They aren't mature enough to have any sophisticated reasoning or intellectual skills. At least that's what I thought until my own two-year old proved me wrong.

A few weeks ago my two-year old son Dylan was acting up in daycare. He wasn't minding his teacher, was constantly putting his feet on the table after being told not to, and was bothering the other children during nap time. My perfectly sweet baby boy was turning into the bad boy of the class. His teacher talked to me about it and I really didn't know what to do about it. I always said if my child's teacher told me he got into trouble in class, he would be in more trouble when he got home. But I wasn't expecting this to happen until he got into elementary school. An elementary aged child is mature enough to understand reason. I could talk to a six-year old about something that went on during the school day and he would remember. He would understand if I punished him at home for something that happened at school. But a two-year old is way too young to remember these things. He's not mature enough to relate one incident to another, I thought.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine, who is a counselor. He told me that I underestimated my son's capability of understanding. He actually thought Dylan would understand if I had a talk with him about his behavior in school. I didn't believe him. I knew my son better than he did, and I knew he wouldn't understand.

Unfortunately, Dylan continued his bad behavior the next day. He was acting worse at school than he was for me at home. I didn't know what to do, so I figured I'd try talking to him. That afternoon I sat Dylan down and looked straight at him and told him that his teacher told me what he'd been doing in class. I pointed out every one of his misbehaviors. I told him he better stop acting like that or he will get in trouble when he gets home. Amazingly, he actually looked like he understood me. When I dropped him off at daycare the next day, I reminded him to be a good boy and told him again to mind his teacher. To my complete surprise, his behavior changed. His teacher told me that he was so much better.

I couldn't believe that a child as young as two could actually have the intellectual capability to really understand. Since their language skills are not fully developed we tend to underestimate their ability to reason and understand. While, they don't yet have the full ability to reason as adults, even children as young as two, do have some intellectual ability. Therefore, I suggest that us parents spend more time talking and explaining things to our young children. They may not always understand everything, but they will pick up on more than we expect.