A Unique Idea for Family Blending Ceremonies

It can be difficult bringing families together after a death or divorce. However, when a wedding is in the works, it can sometimes be helpful to get the kids involved!

At the recent wedding of my father and his new wife, my brothers and I took part in a blending ceremony that included our new step-brothers and our grandmothers. This idea belongs to the bride and we were complimented on the beauty and symbolism throughout the reception.

In our case, there are three siblings and an in-law (my husband) on my father's side, as well as his mother (my grandmother). On the bride's side there are four siblings, a daughter-in-law and a granddaughter, as well as the bride's mother. This creates quite a lot of confusion for the guests as two siblings in each family have the same name. In an effort to bring us together as a newly blended family and introduce us to the crowd we took part in what we have taken to calling "building the family bouquet."

The Family Bouquet is quite unique in that it really is a bouquet, and it does now represent our new family. Every family gathering will showcase this bouquet, sitting regally atop the mantel of the new couple's home. Let me explain:

The wedding ceremony itself was very non-traditional, and being that way, the bouquet came about at the beginning of the wedding, rather than the end when we truly became a legally blended family. To begin, the bride and groom escorted their mothers out onto the platform of the church sanctuary and into chairs seated on opposite sides of the stage. Between them was the large, rustic wood communion table. The table was decorated with fall flowers, the self-written vows of the couple, the rings, and an empty amber-colored glass vase. Each family member (excluding the bride and groom) held a silk, autumn-inspired rose in coordinating colors - green, blue, red, rust and violet. We filed out onto the stage by order of birth and circled around our parent. While the organist played something classical we each stepped to the front of the platform, gently placed our flower in the vase and greeted the officiating minister. Then we exited to our pew in the front row to watch the rest of the ceremony.

So where is the blending aspect? Imagine four siblings ranging from ages 27 to 21 standing opposite five siblings ranging in age from 33 to 16 (with a two-year old in tow). The oldest in all came forward first, and we alternated between families, until finally the youngest was seated in the front row of the church. Thus, blending us together.

In the end the vase was really quite pretty. The mothers added their flowers to the vase before being escorted to their seats (canes and all), and then the vows were said, rings exchanged, kisses given ... and a new family is born.

I had mixed feelings about the whole idea, but I do feel that was was set out to be accomplished was indeed brought to fruition. I know that each time I visit my father and his new bride I will be greeted by that vase, atop the mantel, announcing that we are truly a family now - even though we don't live together and we see each other only occasionally. That matters not - because in the end we are what every family is: a hodge-podge of people, personalities and parents who have found each other for the rest of their days. Their love story is our new beginning - and now I have four new brothers to lean on should I need them, a step-sister-in-law to hang out with, and a beautiful new step-niece to watch grow up. All in a matter of moment our family garden blossomed and bloomed.

And to be quite honest, no matter how I felt or feel still, they are still family and I love them already.