A Valentine Special

Another evening has come and nobody can avoid it. Tonight, there's nothing to be expected but the thought of being alone and having everything on my own. Well, nothing else is new, and I do not expect for anything more.

Nothing will change, I know. As usual, tears will begin to fall and God knows how much I hate to be alone. I was about to cry when I heard someone was walking outside my room.

Who could it be when I am living in this house alone? I asked myself. I kept mum and get myself ready for what will happen next. I waited for about a minute and heard no more. Finally, I decided to stand up and look for myself who's out there.

I grabbed Ram's baseball bat behind the closet and walked towards the door. Slowly, I opened it, with the bat on my right hand ready to hit anyone at this point. Behind the door is darkness and I'm sure, whoever is there will see me but I wouldn't be able to do the same. I tried to get used of the darkness before I walked with intense nervousness.

There's no one who can describe what I suddenly felt that time. I was shaking, scared of what might be there behind the darkness. Eventually, I changed my mind. It was a quick decision when I turned and walked back to my room but just as when I was about to open the knob, someone grabbed my waist and I almost fainted in fear.

I pushed my luck and did my very best to let go myself from the intruder but I started to realize there's no sense in fighting. I suddenly recognized the person hugging me from behind. No, that's not right. I do not see him, so it's better to say my heart recognized him, instead.

Yes, I know him...and again, my heart knows him well. He's the man who made me cry for almost a year now and is still making me cry up to this point. This is the man I used to trust and did nothing but tore my heart into pieces, was never been contented and even threw those pieces away from me.

"Stop it." I said, trying to push him from hugging me.

"Please Yesh, don't do it. Let me explain."

Was that an agony in his voice? I couldn't believe it! This can never happen, I have to be awaken from sleep...jeeezzzz...

"Please go away, Ram. I don't see any reason for you to get back. You don't have me anymore, you don't love me anymore and so do I." I started to sob. I couldn't help but cry.

"You should have listen, Yesh. If you have only trusted me, this will never happen. If you only trusted what you felt for me back then, we wouldn't be this miserable." I can hear the pain in his voice but I ignored it. I knew him for being a good actor. He will definitely pass an actor.

I turned to him and looked in his eyes despite the darkness. The silhouette coming from the dim light in my room was enough for me to look at him. He did not change a bit. He's still the man I used to know, the man I used to love.

"What else do you want, Ram? You took everything I had. I only have myself now."

"That's unfair, Yesh! I didn't get anything from you, you got me instead. When I left for San Francisco, I was completely sure I left my heart here. So, its not only you who suffered, honey. I just hope you can realize that by now."

I smiled bitterly. My heart wept.

"Don't worry I will try to do that when you leave. Please go now and give me some time to think." I brushed my tears away and tried to stand the pain that was slowly killing me.

"Yesh..." he tried to reach me but I walked one step backwards until I reached the door behind me.

"Go...and do it now."

Then I turned my back to him, opened the door and closed it against him.

It was a painful reality. Why is there a need to see him again? He just made the pain even worst. And I started to cry to ease the burden. The memories began to linger on...

"Honey, this is a real surprise! Why, thank you..ohh, how I love you so!" I smelled the petals of the long stemmed rose that was given by Ram. It was Sunday afternoon when my husband got home early with the flower in his right hand.

"I love you more sweetie and see, I chose you over a baseball tournament today!" he grinned. I knew he's about to go out with his friends and have their favorite game outside but he came back in less than an hour and gave the rose to me. The simple gesture warmth my heart. Times like this, I can tell everyone that this guy loves me so.

I've been married to Ram for five years now and never did he fool around or did anything that will hurt me. We met in a birthday party of a common friend and there, he started to send me text messages and make calls everyday. He never failed to send me flowers and small gifts and I found that very sweet. It did not take me too long to decide and accepted his proposal of marriage and though we didn't have a baby, I felt that everything is okay and happens according to our plans.

I thought we'll be forever happy and nothing can take him away from me...not until Marge. Marge is the little brunette chick that happens to be his childhood friend. She came from Puerto Rico and stayed there for five years when she decided to just go back home and stay for good.

I can sense trouble the way she looked to my husband but then again, I was pretty sure he's not going to fool me. I trusted him and even allowed him to let the girl visit his mom with him. I got jealous but I told myself to hold back and leave everything to him. He whispered "trust me" to my ears before they leave and that was more than enough. Well, that was what I thought so.

It was past ten in the evening of the same day when I decided to call him but no one answered the phone. On the third attempt, someone that's not my husband answered it and I know it's her for crying out loud! My muscles tensed and I got totally mad but I did not tell her anything. I asked her "where's Ram?" and she quickly replied "oh, he's still sleeping." And I almost fainted in horror when I heard my husband moaned as if in pain or something...was it pleasure?

I never wasted time. I came over the place just to see them stabbing me in my back. They were doing it. They were actually doing it, I swear to God. I did not see my husband but I saw the brunette over him and that was the final straw! I was not able to utter even a single word and just decided to go home with broken heart and pride...and marriage vows...

That was the last time we saw each other because I left him after that. I went to the place nobody knows and nobody can tell him where. I started to live my life alone and tried to get him away of my senses. I used to go out, make friends, drink alcohols and all that but at the end of the day, I still get back to old Yesha looking for my husband to comfort me all throughout the night.

It's been eight months when I finally decided to go home and that was because I am pretty sure he's not in the country as well. I heard he go abroad after knowing what happened...that I saw him with that brunette Marge. I know because she called me up informing me that they will leave US and soon will get in touch with me for divorce. I just shrugged despite the tearing pain. I knew I can make it and I really have to.

And now, he'll get back as if nothing happened. One year is twelve months. It's been almost four hundred days after he got back to his senses and told me he loves me! Who in this world would believe him?

I started to pack my things. "It is now or never, Yesh." I told myself. I am not a fool to let myself get hurt once more. I know better because I still love him. Then and now, nobody's been here in my heart but my husband. I'm sure that any moment, my stupid heart will forgive him and that's what I am scared of. He has done the damage once; he has hurt me once, who can tell he'd never do it again?

I immediately ran for my pride. I get out of my room with my trolley in one hand.

"And where are you going, wife?" I was surprised to see my husband sitting on the settee in the receiving area. I was not able to say anything. I didn't know if it's because I was afraid I would run unto him and hug him, shower him with light kisses and all that or just fascinated with the way he was gorgeously sitting there like the Greek God of Olympus.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped at him.

"Getting back to my wife?" I was not sure if he wanted to grin or pout because of different emotions that registered on his face. There's only one thing I am sure of, and that is nothing has changed on my feelings towards him. It's still the same me! It's still the same Yesha who keeps on loving this proud husband I've got!

"Getting back just like that? What do you think of me, a kitten that you may leave in one corner if you want and get back whenever you want to?" My heart started to sob again.

"Yesh, you listen..."

"No, you listen...."

"No, you do..."

"No!..." And he kissed me. The world just goes on turning. I don't know what happened. All that I remember is just the gazes we threw to each other as we exchange sweet kisses. It was the longest kiss in the history, that I even thought I was able to fly miles of a distance while doing it. But seeing myself standing there in his front, staring at him and receiving his hugs and kisses, I know it's for real. And who cares? I love this man, anyway. Gone are the days that I kept on crying. Gone are the days that I was almost killing myself thinking of how he was and where he could possibly be. I won't ask for any explanation. What I don't know won't hurt me. Enough is enough.

"Yesh, let me explain..." he whispered against my ears and I shivered.

"Please don't. I don't want to hear it. We can still make it though we don't discuss these things anymore."

"Yesh you should listen! You should trust me because that's what we need! That's what we actually need back then and because we didn't have it, we were destroyed!"

I did not want to ask so I just stood there asking him in gazes.

"I did not fool you, honey. I have nothing to do with Marge and she perfectly knew it. The day you saw us, that was the same day she offered me wine to drink and put something on it so I lost consciousness."

I couldn't believe him. It's so perfect that I never suspect anything on it!

"I was sleeping because of the sleeping pill effect that Marge put in my wine. She manipulated everything because of her selfish intentions. When I got back into my senses, I immediately ran here but you're gone, honey. You left me without even letting me to explain my side. You didn't even bother to know what really happened...all because you didn't trust me." She almost cried upon hearing the truth, to think that she hated him for a long time.

"I didn't know..." she cried...

The phone on the side table rings.

"Because you never asked. Honey, I left to confront Marge. We didn't go out of the country together. She went there first and I just followed her to make her tell you the truth."

"Where is she then?" The phone continuously rings.

"I was disappointed to bring her here. She said for sure, you won't forgive her so she's just gonna make a call." So that explains the ringing phone. She took it and talked to Marge. It took her two minutes to know everything, two minutes to change her world beginning today. And she forgave her.

Now, I know everything will change. Because from now on, love will be more than enough to keep us standing for each other despite the storms. Love is more than enough.

And when he kissed me passionately, it felt so right. Thanks God for bringing me home. I am now finally home, at last.