A Valentines Day to Forget

The date was February 14th, 2002. Valentines day. I had everything planned for me and my wife to have a romantic and fun night together. I bought rose petals. Lined out a path from the drive way, into the house, up the stairway and into the bathtub. Scented candles lined the outer rim of the tub framing the bubble bath I'd prepared for when she got home from work. Chilled wine and glasses for two. It was perfect. Just as I had imagined in my head a week or so in advance. It was perfect.

I waited with anticipation for her to get home. Finally, she drove up and parked. Getting out of her car she looked whimsically at the rose petal path. She smiled and followed them. Up the drive, into the house up the stairway and into the bathroom where I had been waiting for her with glasses of wine for two. We embraced and she kissed me passionately. Things were working out as I had hoped. You see, we've been going through a rough patch. Fighting over every little thing. Lovemaking had taken a back seat to constant bickering from both sides. This Valentines Day was supposed to give us a new start and rekindle the passion we once shared as newlyweds.

After sharing a nice bubble bath and a few glasses of wine together, we went out to our favorite Japanese restaurant where we ate sushi and mandarin beef. Everything was going very well as we laughed and drank sake. Too much sake, in fact. My romantic night was taking a bit of a turn. When we drank, things, bad things happen. She made a few comments. I made a few comments. Silence took hold momentarily. I knew I had to change the mood or it was going to be another one of "those nights". I said we might want to ease up on the sake and to my surprise she agreed. She too felt the tension growing and the romantic night fading. But, at this point, all was not lost. Just yet.

After paying the bill and doggy-bagging the rest of the sushi I suggested we go back home and finish off the night alone in bed. She was a wild child and wanted to firstly hit a bar for some live music. Instead of rejecting this proposal and adding to the still tension-filled feelings, I agreed with her wishes. We went to a club and things were fine...for a while. We drank and laughed. Forgetting the previous close call of an all out fight earlier. We chatted with friends, danced and had a good time. The time came for us to leave. On the way home, she accused me of flirting with another woman. Where this came from is still a mystery to me. An argument began. By the time we got home, it was a full blown fight. Both of us were drunk and angry.

Valentines Day was over at this point. No turning back. My plans that had started out so perfectly was supposed to end with a night of hot passion. Instead it turned into a violent argument. She punched me to which I threw her onto the sofa. I was angered and hurting inside. In my drunkenness I had an "I'll show you" moment. I ended up taking an overdose of Vicodin.

I called my brother and said goodbye to him. I wanted to die. I just wanted the hurting to stop for good.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed on life support. Unable to speak because of the tubes crammed down my throat. My parents and brothers were all there. Crying, holding each other. Talking and asking "why".

I found out my stomach was pumped and I had been very close to death. For three day I had been plugged into machines that kept me alive. After making a full recovery from my overdose, I was placed into a mental health treatment facility for a 72-hour observation.

After doing much thinking and self reflection, I realized no one was worth dying for. So, I soon filed for divorce. To this day, when February 14th comes around I get a sick feeling. The bad memories come flooding back. Certainly, this was a Valentines day to forget. And with time, maybe I'll find someone to help me to do just that.