A Warm Breeze

Have you ever just sat down and thought about how things could have been different? If you would have said one thing differently to someone, or made them make one more step to the left or the right, that maybe, just maybe, they would have ended up somewhere else. Maybe made a different decision, or just did something sooner or later? Maybe they wouldn't have gotten in their car at that exact split second. Maybe they wouldn't have arrived at that curve at that exact moment. Maybe they wouldn't have got hit RIGHT then. A split second sooner or later could have made all the difference. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Amber sat behind in my advanced functions class. I never really got to know her. Sure, in the 5 days I was with her in class, we occasionally said hey, and talked about math. But I now regret not getting to know her. And it really saddens me to think that she was so beautiful and smart and how she had to be taken away. Why? It doesn't make sense to me. I know God has a plan for everything, but right now i just don't see it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking to much. But i cant seem to get her face out of my mind. That "hey..." look when i would turn around and smile at her. Ha Ha She seemed like a really cool person who i wish i could have gotten to know. I remember the last thing i said to her Friday, right before the bell rang. I got the answer to this math problem. I told her what i got and asked her if it was right. She told me no so i showed her my paper. She pointed to my mistake, "6x6....that's 36, not 12" I said "oh...yeah, yeah you're right!" Ha Ha Then i turned around and fixed it. That's the last time i heard her voice.

As for Zach and Jonathan, I really didn't know them either. Zach was in my Psychology class and he set across the room, so i really never talked to him. I had seen Jonathan around school. Actually, last week, I think about Wednesday, he came in Ms. Leazer's class and set down in the Brittany's seat, right in front of me. I said "hey Brittany" and he looked at me and laughed and said "hey" Ha Ha That's the last words i said to him. It's so crazy to think that we just saw these people and talked to them and now they're gone. They were all so smart and they were great people. I just wish that we had more time with them.

Still though, I think, what if. What if i would have talked to them more. Or if i would have playfully pushed them. Making them walk a couple more steps. Could that have changed the whole thing. I know i shouldn't be thinking like this, because it kind of sounds like I'm blaming myself. But I'm not. I just wonder....