A Wasp in the Office

"There he is!" shouted Lisa, our receptionist.

The wasp had been flying around our office all afternoon. As I tried to work, the rest of my co-workers chose to spend the afternoon focusing more on the bug above them than on the work they were being paid to do.

"Can someone please kill that thing?" asked Sheila, who sits next to me. She then looked right at me. "Jerry, can you get him?"

The wasp had stopped flying and was currently resting on a light directly above Lisa's desk. It was a large, ugly insect and was much less afraid of us than we were of it.

Tired of hearing everyone complain about the wasp, I took matters into my own hands. I stood up slowly, not wanting the beast to sense my forthcoming attack. I made it to Lisa's desk and the wasp had not moved. Phil from accounting and Lana, our boss, stood by the water cooler, neither of them making a sound. Lisa was frozen, not knowing if she should flee the battle scene and risk scaring off my opponent.

I looked for a weapon and found one resting on the corner of Lisa's desk. It was a romance novel she had been reading during her lunch break. This particular novel was as thick as a Webster's Dictionary and as I glanced at the cover, I laughed to myself, for the book's title was perfect: The Pain. The couple depicted on the cover did not appear to be in any pain, but I had no time for irony. I had a wasp to exterminate.

My plan of throwing this enormous book at the menacing insect was flawless, or so I thought. My co-workers watched me, their hero. I was about to save the day! Overcome with joy, anticipating the victory I was about to achieve, I looked up at the wasp, still resting calmly on the light.

Now, it wasn't enough that I was about to annihilate him. I had to let him know it first! I held the large book in my hand, stared at the bug, and proclaimed, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, "You, my friend, are about to feel The Pain."

I flung the book in the air with swift force. It flew out of my hand and I was filled with confidence that not only would I strike my target, but also that the wasp would absorb the blow of the novel, ensuring the light behind it would suffer no damage. Until the wasp moved.

The light, instead, felt the pain. The plastic cover shattered and Lisa dove to the floor to avoid being stabbed by the falling pieces. The book had ripped away from its spine, with a large chunk of the pages crashing down on top of a coffee cup on Lisa's desk. The cup, of course, spilled and coffee rapidly poured down the side of the desk and onto a strip of electrical outlets lying on the floor. Smoke rose fast and the office lost electricity in seconds. We all stood in virtual darkness, as the lights and all of our computer screens flashed out together, leaving only sunlight peeking through the windows.

All eyes in the room shifted from me, to the ceiling. The wasp, unharmed, had flown over to the light above my desk.

"There he is!" Lisa shouted.